To ask parents to turn down volume.

[Borntobeamum]

Sat in a nice restaurant in a hotel.
DH and I are celebrating and sat at the next table is a Mum and dad and their son- aged about 4. He’s watching you tube videos. With the sound on full.
Restaurant is full so can’t move tables.
The parents are both on their phones too.
There’s no interaction. Just tinny noises as they click on various pages.
WIBU to ask them to start up a conversation with their little boy. I could give them some ideas if they’re stuck!

20 years ago you didn’t really see to many mentally disabled kids in restaurants, is that what you would prefer, shall we keep our boys and girls home so your judgemental, ignorant attitude isn’t offended!!
So what if they don’t have sen why does other people’s kids playing on iPads make you sad??
I agree if they are noisy that’s just rude but really what the fuck has it got to do with you!!

I couldn't care less if all the people around me were on devices that are on silent, that's completely up to them. What would bother me is if there was noise and it affected me. I was out for a lovely walk in the Peak District recently and a man walking near me had music blaring from his mobile phone. Why? Just enjoy the sounds of nature!

Yanbu.
Same thing, I left a few weeks ago as some little girl was on her ipad with the volume on high.
Couldnt hear anything but that and couldn't move.
So we left.

Being on phone or ipad with headphones. Perfectly acceptable.

Being on phone or ipad with volume lower or the same level than the noise children normally can be expected to make. Also perfectly acceptable.

Anything that can be heard clearly more than a table away starts to be very problematic.

Are they wearing pyjamas though?

Yes to the previous poster suggestion to play music loudly on your device.
We were on a campsite where a neighbour played Celina Dion at volume for 2 days constantly. I blasted R4 at volume when I could stand no more. 2minuutes worth did it. No more Celine Dion!

I said in my previous post that having the volume up loud enough that other diners can hear it is rude.

However, if the child has headphones or the volume is so low other diners can't hear it - not rude.

Deciding that it's your business if someone else's child is on a device, presuming they are being considerate - very rude.

@NameChangeFamousFolk - were they wearing pyjamas though! Priceless

scottishdiem
Being on phone or ipad with headphones. Perfectly acceptable.

Only if there is no noise leakage and incessant tinny noises coming out of the headphones (as with what happens when you find yourself sitting next to most tube passengers wearing headphones).

Being on phone or ipad with volume lower or the same level than the noise children normally can be expected to make. Also perfectly acceptable.

Not acceptable. It's a different noise, it does not become the usual background noise and therefore its effects are magnified, it is therefore highly audibly irritating noise.

Anything that can be heard clearly more than a table away starts to be very problematic.

Any noise from mobiles or ipads or any other beeping electronic device that can be heard by any other person outside the immediate party of the child is unacceptable and very problematic.

It makes me sad because frequently parents are no longer interacting with their kids at social times like meal times and are just putting screens in front of them instead. Fine if you don't find that sad but I do.
And no I don't want to go back to a time where kids with disabilities weren't seen since one of my children has Sen! When he was younger of course it was hard to keep him placated during meals out especially when he was very young as it is with most children but we persevered so that he and developed strategies to cope rather than shutting off and becoming absorbed in an iPad. There are very few children so severely disabled that they NEED an iPad to be able to sit for a meal but a lot of kids without SEN who 'need' an iPad because it's what they are used to and they know that if they make the slightest fuss it will be given to them.

WHY do people care?

Because it's unbelievably annoying and ruins their meal?

I have sensory difficulties and a neurological condition. In the OP's place I would have to leave, no choice. Is that fair? people get to annoy and upset others and chase them away with their irritating electronic noise?
If you want to watch tv, stay home.

So lean over and ask for the sound to be turned down

Tried that last time. Got to told to "fuck off, nosy old bitch".

Which was nice.

I agree the noise is annoying and it should be off. But useless parents... really it's a tablet. The parents could just want some quite time. So many judgy individuals on hear. I'm sure your parenting is fantastic by comparison.

Ask them to turn it down, be prepared that they may say no.

The restaurant is not at fault here. They don't ask because sometimes people can get abusive and it's not worth the risk to staff. The same reason you are reluctant to ask them I should think.

There’s always a smugness involved in a lot of these threads that really winds me up! People should remember they are not seeing the context of that meal in the rest of the child/family’s life, or know anything about them either. As a parent of a child with SN yes our Dd does use her iPad or other device often when we eat out. She finds this helps her to filter out the stressful elements of being in a restaurant. Sometimes she can cope by just reading a book but if we see away from home when there are lots of social situations to deal with and little ‘downtime’ then the meal is often an opportunity to do that. We often use our phones because welive away from family and many friends and both have extremely busy lives where it is oftenOUR down time - no different to reading a paper really? You don’t see all the lovely sociable, educational, family things we do with our children, some of which take a massive toll on our SN dd but we persevere anyway because we have a younger dd and we are building skills for the future for the oldest as a pop said. I completely agree noise from the device is unacceptable; but to judge the parenting based on this snapshot is completely unreasonable.

If that is management's response I'd be really tempted to tell them either they do something or I will also watch something with sounds on at high volume and it won't be child appropriate.

Where do all of you eat?! Places where no-one says a word, there's no background noise, no background music and the tables are on top of each other? In most restaurants it is perfectly easy to play an iPad or similar low enough that you can't hear it at the next table. Plenty of people sit on their laptops and all you can hear is the tap-tap-tap of the keys. Or have a really loud conversation that you can't filter out.

I don't think that's the issue here though. Sounds like whether you can hear it or not, there are a lot of posters who just want to judge other parents. That's not on. If I chose to give my child an iPad to look at while we're eating (AND it is low enough not to be heard by anyone else) then that's my decision. It's absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Nothing.

It’s ignorant behaviour.
Absolutely judge away. The parents have no manners or consideration fir others and they are teaching the child the same.

Wear headphones or put the device away and have a conversation. It’s not difficult.

@Tinycitrus, WHY is it ignorant behaviour? If you can't hear anything it isn't affecting you AT ALL.

StepAwayFromGoogle

Where do all of you eat?! Places where no-one says a word, there's no background noise, no background music and the tables are on top of each other?
No, if you read the posts of most posters, it is clearly places where they have experienced families who let their children play with ipads and phones emitting annoyingly high volume of noise.

In most restaurants it is perfectly easy to play an iPad or similar low enough that you can't hear it at the next table.
If it's perfectly easy to do that, why do you think so many people, like myself, have their time ruined by the sounds of ipads and mobile phones, as per this thread?

Plenty of people sit on their laptops and all you can hear is the tap-tap-tap of the keys.
That is a very different and much lower level of noise and acoustic effect to the noise from videos and games.

Or have a really loud conversation that you can't filter out.
Which is in tune with other acoustics and therefore background noise. Ipads and phones are not.

I don't think that's the issue here though.
You don't think that the issue here being discussed is the issue?

Sounds like whether you can hear it or not, there are a lot of posters who just want to judge other parents.
No, nothing here "sounds like" this. You have made that up - you want to believe this peculiar motive, even though there is no evidence of that. I can tell you that when, last weekend, my time with my partner sitting in the lounge area of a hotel was ruined by a family group, where the three adults were on their phones all watching different videos out loud, and the three children were on ipads and phones playing games, the incessant beeping, computerised music, actual music, audience canned laughter, loud tinny voices and adverts travelled to our table two rows away, I can categorically tell you that our discomfort and anger at their rudeness was not born out of some irrational wish to "just judge other parents" but out of our experience being ruined by this selfish, rude and antisocial family. See? Cause and effect? Not cause-secret motivations-effect.

If I chose to give my child an iPad to look at while we're eating (AND it is low enough not to be heard by anyone else) then that's my decision. It's absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Nothing.
How do you know for fact that it's not audible to anyone else?

@FlowerPot1234 - Because I can't hear it. And if I can't hear it sitting at the table with my DD I'm bloody sure someone sitting at a table over a metre away can't.

Now, we are in complete agreement that if someone else is ruining your meal because they are playing something loud enough to be heard, then that is rude and ignorant. And they should turn it down or off when asked.

If you read back through the thread there are a LOT of comments saying 'no child needs an i-pad to sit still', 'why don't you just have a conversation with your child?' - the OP said she would suggest some topics. That is rude. And judgemental. And nothing to do with the level of sound on their device!

I find it bizarre that "judgey" here is used as a criticism. Of course I am judging people who think their own convenience overrides everyone else's. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to be "judgey" about.

In most restaurants it is perfectly easy to play an iPad or similar low enough that you can't hear it at the next table.
How do you know others can't hear it?
Sounds like whether you can hear it or not, there are a lot of posters who just want to judge other parents.
Nope, i just don't want to listen to bloody pepper pig whilst im trying to have lunch out.