AIBU - Time off for DH's grandmas funeral

[owltrousers]

My DH's grandma died last week, she was 90 odd and had been unwell for a long time so its not a massive shock but he is obviously upset.

The date for the funeral is Mon 6th Nov at 12pm midday so straight away I emailed my bosses (I work in a small therapy clinic as a secretary for 2 people) and asked if I am able to take the day as holiday (my holiday renews 1st October every year) I sent my email on Fri 20th October so 2 and a bit weeks notice, short yes but not ridiculously so.

I checked to see if that Monday would be busy - so far no one booked in and only 1 practitioner in anyway (I'm the receptionist) so thats not looking problematic.

I just received a response from my boss via email - ''I'm not happy about this" thats it! I'm not sure what to think... I'm 28wks pregnant and they seem to have had a problem with me since I announced I'd be taking maternity leave even though I've only missed 1 day through sickness throughout my pregnancy and I've arranged all my scans/midwife appointments on non work days to help them out.

I'm furious tbh.

Play hardball OP your long term future there has been decided by you anyway (i.e. You don't want one) so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by working to rule. I would start by refusing to answer personal questions.

YANBU - compare and contrast with this (true) happening. MY DH's beloved 95 year old gran died 4 weeks ago. We both loved her dearly, she was one of the two witnesses at our tiny wedding etc etc. She also lived in a very remote location which meant going to the funeral involved a minimum of three days away from work. As soon as they heard, my employers told me to take as much time as I needed and offered me compassionate leave. It took a few days to confirm the funeral arrangements, so they got no more than 9 days notice. The compromise we eventually agreed on was that I would take annual leave for the day each side travelling and compassionate leave for the day of the funeral itself. I also checked emails etc on my BB on the days either side, although my bosses would have preferred me not to.

Sorry - posted too soon. Which approach do you think best encourages loyal staff who are prepared to go above and beyond when necessary?

Basically, they have always been difficult with regards to annual leave

Was their claim to have "approved every other day I've requested as holiday in the past" not true then?

callmeadoctor Another (retired) employer here. Happily I had few problems of this sort as I bent over backwards to help where I could, but I do agree with your DH that a lot would depend on the employee's past record - and somebody who lied about being sick (as has been suggested numerous times on here) would get very little leeway in future

As you rightly said, a sensible compromise is usually the best way to go

They are being very unreasonable and you not be getting a hard time for sickness in pregnancy

OP, I am very sorry for your loss. It is awful that they refused a day off for a funeral.
You need to be careful about not returning after maternity leave. If you are paid by the employer for mat leave and then don't go back, they may ask for the money above statutory maternity pay back. This happened to a friend of mine and she had to pay it back to the employer.

I very much doubt this place will offer over smp!

Yeah I'm simply getting SMP, no advancements.

Thanks for everyones help and advice, I'll be treading very carefully from now on. I'm finishing on 1st December for mat leave - roll on!