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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To murder my neighbour?

80 replies

CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:11

(light hearted, in case that isn't clear)

He's a nice man, bit odd perhaps, but always waved and we take it in turns to put each other's bins out, collect parcels etc. He has awful taste in music, but keeps it down - it's just thin walls unfortunately.

However, he is a persistent, malicious and continuous whistler.
It's constant. From about 6am (in the courtyard directly below my bedroom window so he's practically in bed worth me, doing it in my ear) to 10pm he whistles. Tunelessly.
I hate whistling with an irrational passion. It serves no purpose other than to entertain the perpetrator and, in my mind, is the sort of thing that serial killers do when skinning their victims.

WIBU to kill him?

and for those who will inevitably take the serious note, roll their eyes and tell me to ask him to stop - I'm far too much of a coward

OP posts:
Nanasueathome · 24/10/2017 10:12

Yep
Thats fine

sinceyouask · 24/10/2017 10:13

Perfectly acceptable. No jury in the land would convict for that.

UrsulaPandress · 24/10/2017 10:13

Aw. My grandad used to whistle all the time. Badly. Sort of inward instead of outward.

Kitee · 24/10/2017 10:14

Do it.

Whistling is INFURIATING.

JeReviens · 24/10/2017 10:16

Shopping in Lidl yesterday with ten thousand other people and a whistler. By the time I left my blood pressure was through the roof and I was on my way home to pick up a lump hammer to ensure he never whistled again. Ever.
It is without doubt the worst noise on the planet so YANBU. If you don't murder him I'll do it for you.

thetemptationofchocolate · 24/10/2017 10:17

My dad is a whistler. I feel your pain :)

OydNeverDeclinesGin · 24/10/2017 10:18

Do it. I'll provide an alibi. My blood pressure has risen just reading that! Angry

WhatchaMaCalllit · 24/10/2017 10:19

A tad nay a smidge extreme perhaps to murder the man....couldn't you just pop a little note through his door saying "Hi Tuneless, I'm not sure you're aware but the walls are paper thin and your whistling from break of dawn to sunset has me twitching and developing a nervous tick. It is hallowe'en season too so I'd hate for some awful accident to befall you. Cheery-bye - Penny Wise"
Should get the point across don't you think???

Finola1step · 24/10/2017 10:20

Do you have a patio under which said neighbour could be hidden?

coldcanary · 24/10/2017 10:20

I’ll hold your coat. DD has just learnt to whistle ‘properly’ —badly— and I’m starting to wish I was a little bit more deaf than I actually am!

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 24/10/2017 10:20

Yep. Whistling =instant death in my house.

CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:23

Oh good, I was expecting to have my arse handed to be but instead it looks like I've got a team!

OP posts:
CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:23

*me

OP posts:
Clandestino · 24/10/2017 10:29

We had a flatmate back in times when were were young and poor and had to share. The flatmate would whistle but it was never to the tune of the song. It was two sounds only. Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down ......
Beat this.

ifonly4 · 24/10/2017 10:30

yep do it! Your alibi - you were out buying earplugs! At least he's happy.

BriechonCheese · 24/10/2017 10:33

Whistling is the work of the devil.

Lweji · 24/10/2017 10:33

Invite him for a leg of lamb roast. Use a frozen leg and make sure he arrives while it's still frozen. Wink

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 24/10/2017 10:35

Lemons help.

If you show a whistler a lemon their mouth fills with saliva and they cannot whistle anymore.

So ring the doorbell at regular intervals and show him a lemon.

Not sure what excuse you will find to do so though.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/10/2017 10:41

I'm on the team as well. I can't abide whistling under most circumstances, unless it's really tuneful. Our butcher, when I was a child, was an excellent warbling whistler - sounded great!!
DH sounds like he has a massive gap between his 2 front teeth and makes me want to knock them out. The children, so far, can't whistle and I sincerely hope it stays that way.

My grandmother used to say, when we were children, "a whistling woman and a cackling hen are neither fit for God nor men" - I didn't really understand it when I was a child, but now!! oh yes. But not just a whistling woman, obviously - ALL random and tuneless whistlers.

InsomniacAnonymous · 24/10/2017 10:41

"So ring the doorbell at regular intervals and show him a lemon."

I was just imagining that and it's very funny! Grin

AlexsMum89 · 24/10/2017 10:43

yep, no problem.
I feel your pain. My husband is a whistler, as is his mum. He takes it as a mortal offence if I dare to insult his whistling so I simply have to ask him to stop sometimes or distract him, rather than tell him the truth that I hate it with every fibre of my being.
Good luck

MoistCantaloupe · 24/10/2017 10:44

@ChardonnaysPrettySister You are saving lives with this lemon tip, well done!

Do you think we could anonymously post pictures of lemons as well, to save on having to buy the real things? Could always email pictures from specifically made 'lemon picture account' as well.

Ttbb · 24/10/2017 10:44

I don't think you have to kill him-surely he won't be able to whistle anymore if you just knock out all his teeth?

Santawontbelong · 24/10/2017 10:45

My neighbour was actually murdered. . . Sad

BlueSapp · 24/10/2017 10:45

absolutley murder away...Grin

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