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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To murder my neighbour?

80 replies

CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:11

(light hearted, in case that isn't clear)

He's a nice man, bit odd perhaps, but always waved and we take it in turns to put each other's bins out, collect parcels etc. He has awful taste in music, but keeps it down - it's just thin walls unfortunately.

However, he is a persistent, malicious and continuous whistler.
It's constant. From about 6am (in the courtyard directly below my bedroom window so he's practically in bed worth me, doing it in my ear) to 10pm he whistles. Tunelessly.
I hate whistling with an irrational passion. It serves no purpose other than to entertain the perpetrator and, in my mind, is the sort of thing that serial killers do when skinning their victims.

WIBU to kill him?

and for those who will inevitably take the serious note, roll their eyes and tell me to ask him to stop - I'm far too much of a coward

OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 24/10/2017 10:51

I'll be your alibi op. Can't abide whistlers. Also - why do they carry on when there's other music playing? They don't even attempt to whistle along, they just carry on with their tuneless nonsense, making my brain seep out of my ears.
How about compulsory Botox around the mouth for public whistlers? Less painful than murder.

CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:55

Santawontbelong I'm sorry to hear that Sad

OP posts:
CopperHandle · 24/10/2017 10:56

How about compulsory Botox around the mouth for public whistlers

I misread that as "pubic whistlers" which sounds like a whole other problem...

OP posts:
flyingpigsinclover · 24/10/2017 10:57

Buy yourself a harmonica and join in.

Blatherskite · 24/10/2017 10:58

The sound of whistling makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck! I get really uncomfortable and really cross really quick and then get snappy. I've tried rationalising it but I just can't help it.

I would murder him too.

teaandtoast · 24/10/2017 10:59

Dh and one dc are whistlers. But they have perfect pitch, which is annoying in an entirely different way. Envy

mousemoose · 24/10/2017 11:04

I can't believe everyone's response tbh. He's whistling, not playing the steel drums. And this is why there is no community. NB joking about murdering is really not funny, hth.

JOKES. Kill him with an axe.

twostepsister · 24/10/2017 11:12

It’s excruciating having to hear a tuneless wonder. Many years ago I used to work in a music store and a lovely older gent, who we named whistly disco man, due to his love of whistling and his job as a mobile disco DJ. Whistly came in daily and whistled along to whatever record was playing in the background. It was highly entertaining listening to him trying to whistle furiously to drum & bass, death metal and a particular rendition of the Prodigy Firestarter 😂

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 24/10/2017 11:18

Haven't tried with a picture but the real thing works.

I know because I was grounded as a child after showing a lemon to the tuba player in the school band-

Blatherskite · 24/10/2017 11:18

Steel drums I could cope with! Hatred of whistling is a fairly standard response from people with Misphonia. It's not people just being difficult!

DancingOnParsnips · 24/10/2017 11:20

Can't believe you are joking about this.

Completely unnecessary.

Just cut the tip of his tongue off GrinGrin

diddl · 24/10/2017 11:21

How do you whistle maliciously?

MinkowskisButterfly · 24/10/2017 11:26

Whistling is horrific torture....my teenager does it and my blood boils every time! I think it might even slightly beat eating noises and loud breathing in the torture stakes - it is a close fought battle though!

StormTreader · 24/10/2017 11:26

"How do you whistle maliciously?"

You do it somewhere anyone apart from you can hear it. Grin

thenightsky · 24/10/2017 11:26

Love the idea of threatening someone with a lemon. Reminds me of the monty python sketch about how to defend oneself against various different fruits.

Grin
lynmilne65 · 24/10/2017 11:32

knew a one tone whistler, not whistling 🙄😡😤

Iris65 · 24/10/2017 11:33

I used to live next door to a woman who hummed tunelessly all of the time.
I used to kepp the windows shut when she was in her garden otherwise I might of plotted many ways to get rid of her too!

lynmilne65 · 24/10/2017 11:35

now !

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 24/10/2017 11:39

My understanding of this thread is that we can throw lemons at whistlers. I don’t need that clarified Wink

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 24/10/2017 11:40

No.

Show them the lemon.

We're being subtle here.

amusedbush · 24/10/2017 11:42

Hatred of whistling is a fairly standard response from people with Misphonia.

Yep, I have misophonia and whistling (among many, many other things!) makes me murderous. I get panicky and filled with rage, it's totally irrational.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 24/10/2017 11:46

Grin chardonnay.

throw sounds like show.

Tigertots · 24/10/2017 11:51

Write a gripping fictitious thriller about someone murdering their whistling neighbour, instead.

Davegrohlsgirl · 24/10/2017 11:55

I would welcome whistling tbh.......our neighbours are recently married (well, this year) and are the epitome of loves middle aged dream.
This is great and we are happy for them both, however, she gives him a blowjob every morning between 5.30 am and 6.30 am......
He is LOUD!!
And there is absolutely nothing we can say.
Whistling would be a relief!

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