Aibu to buy DNiece a crappy Christmas present?

[whateveryousay]

Background story. I have 4 DC, all over the age of 10, 2 are adults. SIL and BIL have only just had their first DC, so this will be their first Christmas.

For previous Christmasses, SIL has bought me and my DH, and my kids absolute tat. To the point where we open our presents, and have a little private competition about who can feign the most delight over what is basically crap. Now, I am fully aware I must sound very grabby at this point, but for context, she bought my 18 year old son a plastic egg cup from a charity shop last year. Random, and can’t have cost more than 50p. These people are not loaded, but are by no means poor. I genuinely believe she has bought me and my kids the bare minimum she thought she could get away with, in order to have something to wrap.

I have previously bought SIL and BIL nice gifts, I’ve set my own standards, if you like.

However, now they have DC too. I just can’t bring myself to buy a decent gift, and have my kids watch DN unwrap something great, while they get the usual tat. Just seems very unfair. DH thinks I should continue taking the moral high ground, and get something decent for DNiece, but I just don’t want to!

AIBU?

Like trueheart said, just get a book each year. Can buy 10 for £10 and last you a few birthdays and Christmas

I used to play a game with my in laws to see how little I could spend on a gift that looked halfway decent. I had much fun making sure they got, for example, the free gift choice from Boots 3for2.

With my sister I used to buy a gift which I knew she would hate, but that she couldn’t actually complain about. Like one year I got her a ‘gift she could use at work’ - a business card holder with her correct full name engraved on it - she liked to call herself by her boyfriends surname and hated her middle name....and she didn’t need business cards either.

I admit it was petty, but I’m like that (and trust me - they deserved it). Sadly they are all now either dead or we’ve gone NC. Ahh...good times 😂

So, my vote is play the same game with sil, and of course buy some loud, obnoxious, light up toy for your dn. Perhaps she would like a motion-activated singing Christmas plush toy with the off button taped over?

Sainsburys toy sale theres wooden puzzles for just over £1.

This is your time to shine OP! Kids love loud and annoying presents make the most of it!

My dbro , who I get on well with, bought my DC a drum, ball pit and 100 balls (still finding the fuckers after 8 years!), 2x 6ft inflatable dinosaurs....indoor use only..

The kids absolutely love it! He really has it down to an art (and they are awesome gift, just not for the parents).

Tbh as a baby, she isn't likely to care about Christmas presents. Just get something that cheap that she'd enjoy.

Look at it a different way. When my kids were young we had an elderly relative who bought them the most bizarre gifts from charity shops, once it was a set of castor wheels for moving heavy furniture-for an 8 year old! It became a family in joke and every year we looked forward to opening her gifts. Now they are adults we still reminisce over those gifts and chuckle about them. Of all the presents they ever received they remember hers. Such a happy family memory that sort of sums up Christmas.

Just grow up and stop playing ridiculous games. I couldn’t be arsed with all this PA shit. It’s only October and you are already planning how nasty you can be? Have you seriously nothing better to do?

Just stop wasting money on presents for people you don’t like. I can’t see what is so complicated about that.

Brilliant baby jesus would be proud of you all.

Baby Jesus got some seriously expensive gifts.

Get her a baby book, or little baby toy from Asda it Tesco. Does not have to be expensive. Or a couple of things from Poundshop. They do a nice baby section.

Buy something cheap that the baby will love, that way everyone wins.
Bubbles and a foil blanket.

OK my jesus comment was clearly tongue in cheek. It disgusts me. People are eating grass and somebody is plotting to give a relative a shit present. Do the decent thing. Have a word with family member. Stop the presents.

You know, this is swimming against the tide, but perhaps she likes those quirky plastic things, and that's why she's getting them? I love tupperware and charity shops and old fashioned egg cups. Maybe she is gifting you things she thinks are cute and quirky because she LIKES them. Try getting her some and see if she gets excited.

Oh I'm so excited about my plastic egg cup

I'm in a similar situation, my sister regifts things she doesn't want to me (including items I've given her) and buys my kids boots gifts in January to keep until the following Christmas
I've just cut back on the adults gifts, so a cheap bottle of wine this year, but bought my niece a decent £40 gift, it's not my nieces fault and I don't want her growing up thinking I don't think about what she would like,
Take the moral high ground, £4 bottle of wine for the adults and a nice gift for the baby, if you don't want to spend much just get a nice book or puzzle for £5
Don't start silly games it can only backfire

I know somewhere that you can get a Peruvian children's rattle bracelet, made of the emptied-out goats' feet.

Babies love them, adults know they smell of dead goat.

I totally understand, my in laws would buy me horrendous crap that I couldn’t give away, my husband always insisted on spending a small fortune on them in return, not to make a point but because he was generous and they were tight as they come.

It’s tricky but I tended to just let him make the decision, and do the buying, I hated spending good money and being thoughtful when they couldn’t bother.

No. I'd buy your niece something inexpensive but nice and buy SIL and BIL something token from Poundland. It is hardly your niece's fault and if you want to score points (I wouldn't bother myself but I can understand your frustration) better hit them directly. Actually a box of Matchsticks between them should do the job.

Brilliant baby jesus would be proud of you all.

Is that his stage name?

I’d rather go expensive and tacky over inexpensive and nice.

I'd rather save my money for people I care about.

Get your niece something loud with no off button. Although I can understand that you feel like giving her an empty tin and wooden spoon, she'd get a lot of enjoyment out of that. Get loud and noisy presents for her. Or get her decent gifts and maintain the moral high ground. The choice is really yours to make.

As for Sil, any Poundland tat you can find. See if she can act as well as you.

The niece is only going to prefer the box the present comes in - regardless of what it is!

Also - why didn't you just tell them years ago not to worry about gifts for your horde, and just to buy a nice box of chocs instead?

I get that you're frustrated that she's put no thought into gifts for your DC.

However, I think it would be better to get nothing at all for your new niece than buy her some piece of tat in the spirit of getting your own back on your SIL.