Aibu to buy DNiece a crappy Christmas present?

[whateveryousay]

Background story. I have 4 DC, all over the age of 10, 2 are adults. SIL and BIL have only just had their first DC, so this will be their first Christmas.

For previous Christmasses, SIL has bought me and my DH, and my kids absolute tat. To the point where we open our presents, and have a little private competition about who can feign the most delight over what is basically crap. Now, I am fully aware I must sound very grabby at this point, but for context, she bought my 18 year old son a plastic egg cup from a charity shop last year. Random, and can’t have cost more than 50p. These people are not loaded, but are by no means poor. I genuinely believe she has bought me and my kids the bare minimum she thought she could get away with, in order to have something to wrap.

I have previously bought SIL and BIL nice gifts, I’ve set my own standards, if you like.

However, now they have DC too. I just can’t bring myself to buy a decent gift, and have my kids watch DN unwrap something great, while they get the usual tat. Just seems very unfair. DH thinks I should continue taking the moral high ground, and get something decent for DNiece, but I just don’t want to!

AIBU?

I'd buy something reasonable, but not expensive, for your niece. And I'd start scouring the charity shops for something 'special' for your bil and sil. Or get them a small box of quality street. Or buy them a charity gift - maybe a nice goat?

Give your neice something but don't get her parents anything. I have similar. My dh and i had a poundland box of biscuits between us last year from a relative so i will be doing the same.

Why don’t you do a donation in your nieces name? Then you can just hand them a card with the donation info.

She’s DH’s sister, and we aren’t that close. He won’t say anything, as he thinks it would be bad manners, and it’s not as if our kids are lacking in ‘stuff’, so not worth making a ‘fuss’

Well two can play that game then

Does he organise the buying/wrapping side of presents for IL's?
I think he just wants to 'keep the peace' and avoid actually facing what CF his sibling and wife are, and doesn't care if it's at your expense

Give them tat in return - i can't believe you carried on spending £40 each on them despite all this.
Be careful that 'taking the moral high ground' doesn't turn you into a mug/doormat......

Buy something nice for your niece as it’s not her fault, but buy shit for your BIL SIL - regift the egg cups !

My step mum used to buy really lovely gifts for her kids, one year I got an old shitty cheese something of other (China thing with a plate at the bottom and dome thing with a handle in the top ) and my brother got a candle - I didn’t blame her kids tho

You have to get the adults some of those glittery glasses off Facebook with a glittery bottle of Buckfast or similar. I’d get a baby grow for DN something with a slogan. I personally like the “Breakin hearts and pumping farts” one. But “I love my aunt” ones are cute too!

www.google.co.jp/amp/s/www.pinterest.com/amp/pin/526991593873512291/

The fact that the gifts are cheap is neither here nor there.
Even if it was diamond entrusted egg cup, what would an 18 year old want with that

Yes loud, banging noisy, and can still be from a charity shop if you really want.

Shadow666, I need those baby gros!! Lots of other great ideas too, Thank you 😂

If you're adament you want to buy tat then could you buy tat and subtly squirrel money away for your niece every xmas and birthday which you could give to her when she's older? Personally, I'd take the high ground.

I would buy tat for SIL and BIL and something nice for DN. I think it will be more fun and satisfying buying crap for them.
I just think it's a bit mean taking it out on a child.

Make her a "Sensory Basket" and put in all the shite youve been bought by them over the years to learn through play. Bang on about the educational wonder of sensory baskets when you hand it over.

If you're not going go say anything then buy the baby something nice but under a fiver like a book then a bottle of Blossom Hill between them. Don't go and spend £40 They are taking the piss.

Early Learning Centre do a pair of brightly coloured plastic maracas that play god awful tunes and have no off switch. HTH

This is why Christmas is a minefield.

Get the child a nice present and the adults shite.

Stop doing presents with the parents.

Maracas for the niece!

Don't do it OP. Seize the moral high ground and be smug. Say to SIL "I hope you won't be offended that we bought a nice gift, I know you only like to give crap", go on, I dare you!

I'd give her something that had been previously given to your DC, tbh. She can't complain about it then, without showing herself up to be the tightarsed bellend that she is.

Christmas isn't a time for being competitive or getting your own back on someone. It's a time for building family. I'm shocked at the tone of some replies. do you know for certain that they can afford more expensive presents? Maybe they think your children are not grateful so end up buying them rubbish on purpose! My sisters' children never appreciated what I bought them, even though I always got something she had suggested. One year one of them opened his gift and said I would have been better giving him money!
They get nothing now, I make a donation to Oxfam in their behalf.

Or, yes you could buy your niece something nice but then not get anything at all for your brother and SIL, as you only do "gifts for the children"

You are giving it too much thought already, really they do not seem very worthy of your consideration.

Go to the supermarket choose the nicest thing you can find for a fiver and don't worry about it. Spend the additional funds on buying your dc an extra gift for all the terrible christmas presents they have endured. Their humour and tact needs rewarding. It will annoy the hell out of them if dn starts getting the royal treatment after years of tat!

It’s probably a good excuse to teach your kids that we don’t give to receive.
That being said you don’t have to splash out loads of money. A book, top or soft toy wouldn’t cost much and you can hold your head up high.

Why not have a look on Gumtree or Freedycle for a baby gym or something. Cheap/free, big, loud and second hand. Tick!

It must be very frustrating for you.

Get the baby a book. Stop swapping presents with adults.

How about you buy whatever you see cheap in the sales but a decent gift? Make it look like you spending lots but then have the knowledge that you only spent a few pounds. Easier when kids are young but not as they get older (as you know yourself lol)