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Original poster

Nearly 10yr old DS still believes in Santa

253 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 22/10/2017 17:28

DS is 10 in Jan and still totally believes in Father Christmas. I assume it might be the last one and he's still really sweet & innocent about it all.
But another parent said to me that it was ridiculous that he believes still and that her son had worked it out at age 7.
Aibu to be worried about it or just. E glad that he's still innocent and sweet!

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 22/10/2017 18:02

I think a lot of kids maybe keep up the pretence thinking the presents may lessen if they admit they know.

Passing exams has little to do with critical thinking.

florapearl · 22/10/2017 18:04

Well you are but we all brainwash our children, as we give them our morals and version of the world. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you told him santa exists, santa does not exist, you have not corrected this, ergo you are colluding in it.

Do i find it a bit odd? Honestly yes, I do, but I am sure there is plenty I do others find odd. I still think telling me to fuck off was totally unreasonable.

newtlover · 22/10/2017 18:04

Perhaps you need to give him permission to not believe. If he has a younger sister he might not want to spoil it for her. Maybe he needs to know he can still have the excitement and 'magic' without literally believing it, and that his sister can reach her own conclusions inher own time.

MuddlingThroughLife · 22/10/2017 18:05

Ds was 10 in August and in year 6 and he still firmly believes. He's even booked in to see Santa at our local garden centre.

His sister's both stopped believing around 7/8. Most of his friends I'm sure don't believe. I guess I must be good at doing the whole Santa thing!

I will make sure I tell him before he goes off to high school next September but for now after having spent the majority of this year in hospital having surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy for a brain tumour, I'm more than happy for him to have another christmas believing in Santa.

Snailo · 22/10/2017 18:05

Hasn't anyone on here seen Miracle on 34th Street??! OP there are joyless sods everywhere, Christmas is never as good once FC doesn't come any more. Let him enjoy this Christmas either still believing/ or "humouring" you, as someone put it. There'll be plenty more Christmases when he comes doesn't believe! The festival season is not the time for "critical thinking"!!!!

TaggieRR · 22/10/2017 18:05

Loads of the kids in my ds' year 5 class believe. I think most of the young ones who don't believe have been told by older children. They're not all critical thinking geniuses.

birdiebirdiewoofwoof · 22/10/2017 18:06

DD is 7 and has questioned it in the past - but came down on the side of believing and I suspect she will for another year or two. Slating a child for not sussing it out is a bit harsh. In DD's harvest assembly last week they got told that God hears every prayer and gives us what we need (presumably if what we've got looks like a pile of shite it's because we don't understand that we need poverty, cancer and so forth). If God can hear everyone and do everything, Santa's job is a piece of piss. And we don't think children are stupid if they are Christian.

They know people have been the moon, they know it involved rockets, but they don't necessarily know how rockets work. They know doctors have machines to see inside your body, they don't necessarily know how that works. Their experience of the world suggests that there are lots of wonders that they don't fully understand yet. If a trusted adult swears up and down that magic is real, it's not stupid for a child to believe them.

MuddlingThroughLife · 22/10/2017 18:06

Btw, I think kids stop believing far too soon these days! Apparently dh was 12 when he found out!

newtlover · 22/10/2017 18:06

'passing exams has little to do with critical thinking'
many a true word is spoken in jest, indeed

IrritatedUser1960 · 22/10/2017 18:07

Plenty of people out there still believe in an invisible judgy God very late in life.

SideOrderofSprouts · 22/10/2017 18:07

Dd1 still
Believed at 9. She’s ten now
And I told
Her after last christmas

liverbird10 · 22/10/2017 18:09

Bless him, let him believe.

I knew when I was about 6, but tried to convince myself for years that Santa was real. It was when I had to help wrap stuff for my little sister from "Father Christmas", aged about 11, that I finally let go of any hope of the idea.

tempstamos · 22/10/2017 18:10

@Happyhappyveggie

My 10 year old is obssesed with unicorns. If you ask her she will say she definately belives in unicorns because shes imaginative and its fun because she is 10. But in reality even if she dosnt want to admit she knows that they dont exist (or as far as we know!). Same with santa, its fun to pretend you believe, but very unlikely that a child of 10 actually still does, especially if they start to think about or question it.

@newtlover

I actually do, while they are children its fun to pretend you believe in magic. To be excited that father christmas is comming, or to play outside with the fairies in the garden, thats what childhood is for. But in reality they are hopefully only pretending, by 10 a child should be able to question and think enough to know things like santa dont exist, even if they dont want to admit it yet.

newtlover · 22/10/2017 18:10

'if a trusted adult swears up and down that magic is real, it's not stupid for a child to believe them'
.....and this is where it gets dangerous, isn't it.
Children need to trust their instincts and test what they are being told against the evidence of their eyes, and against other stuff they know to be true. Fostering the idea that 'because an adult says so it must be true' is very dangerous.

Reppin · 22/10/2017 18:10

I am another one who doesn't think he really still believes. I agree wholeheartedly with runrabbit and newtlover.

newtlover · 22/10/2017 18:13

there's a world of difference between believing in magic and pretending you believe in magic, which I thnk is kind of the point of the thread

OwlKiss · 22/10/2017 18:15

My eldest is the same age - I don't know if he still believes. I strongly suspect not, but it has never come up. I know that he has read books which allude to not believing, and having to play along for the sake of younger siblings, but it hasn't been mentioned to me (or DH).

I think it is a bit sad having to sit your child down and tell them. I won't ever be doing that! I think there is something a bit unnecessarily final about it. Even if DC1 can be all sceptical all year round, I would hope the atmosphere on Christmas Eve would leave room for just the tiniest little smidgen of doubt.
Younger siblings I'm pretty sure still believe, so hope (and am pretty confident) that the eldest will have the maturity to play along anyway.

I'm sure there are lots of 9/10 year olds who are 98% knowingly playing along, and 2% still believing it might possibly be true. I prefer to facilitate that suspension of disbelief for one night, rather than blowing it straight out of the water.

MissionItsPossible · 22/10/2017 18:16

Some people on here are being very unkind.

Personally OP if he hasn't worked it out before he starts secondary school, I would tell him then.

Did anyone else believe in Father Christmas but yet knew who each present came from like me Confused I'm not sure what role I thought he played in all of this Blush

liverbird10 · 22/10/2017 18:20

Dunno about anyone else, but I wanted to believe for as long as possible even though I knew it was all bullshit!

TheHungryDonkey · 22/10/2017 18:20

NORAD don’t seem too concerned about it affecting children’s critical thinking skills. My ten year old genuinely believes. I’m not worried about that. More worried about people who would be unkind about it. I mean, who genuinely gives a shit about a ten year old who believes in Santa other than to be a smug bellend about it.

shuggas · 22/10/2017 18:21

My Dd is 10 and she still believes each year we thought it would be the last but she is still going.. also the tooth fairy..

SugarPlumLairy · 22/10/2017 18:22

OP, you do what you feel is right for your kids, you're the only one that truly knows him and I would utterly balk at removing that sense of wonder and magic from any child. We know some properly jaded precocious little know it all kids who just don't seem to find joy in anything sadly 😒 Nothing wrong with a little Crimbo fantasy.

this link might help you prepare something to say to your child, (is it ok to list links? Hope it works if it is ) pin.it/6xlISQQ

I get generally get miffed at people telling me what my kid should or shouldn't believe, especially as we are atheists 😂 Yeah dont be telling Me I can't believe in Santa but it's ok to believe in hell, zombie prophets and talking snakes amongst other things 😂😂
Each to their own I say 👍

Scootergrrrl · 22/10/2017 18:23

DS is 11 and we have been trying to drop leaden hints for a while. When we questioned him about Father Christmas, he said that he still thought Father Christmas was real because there's no way Dad would spend that much money on presents Grin. DH is notoriously thrifty (although in no way financially controlling before someone hops on to say anything rude!)

BakedBeans47 · 22/10/2017 18:24

I told my eldest last year when he was 10 but he’d been doubting for a couple of years before. My youngest is about to turn 9 and I think he doubts as well but isn’t sure. This will probably be his last year. More worried with him blurting it out to younger children he has ASN and wouldn’t get keeping the secret for his cousins and younger friends.

I had it sussed at 7 but I was a cynical brat

Mamabear3017 · 22/10/2017 18:24

My DB's are 12,10 & 8

12 yr old only worked it out a couple of months ago (he has autism)

10 yr old & 8 both completely believe.

DM agreed to tell them just before they go secondary school