Is there a similar forum to MN for men? And if not, why not?

[Multidimensionalbeing]

Because I think there should be.

I don't hate men though it will probably be suggested. I really don't. And I think the forum should be open to anyone who wants to use it for advice.

But....It's becoming increasingly strange around here. We've always had the 'what about the menz?' posters derailing threads talking about the harrassment or abuse of women by pointing out that women do it too..... Though it seems worse recently.

But now it seems that so many threads descend into accusations that men are treated differently on MN and often they are. But surely that's because it has a predominantly female membership? Who will see things from the female perspective?

It seems to me that it's causing division and bun-fighting among posters when I genuinely don't understand why there isn't a similar forum available for men?

Why not?

Why does a man join a predominantly female forum to then point out that they're not being treated like a woman? Or....just sit and watch as the women do it for them?

If there is no where else for them on-line then why not?

I'm sure it's possible.

DH is a cyclist and a member of several cycling forums. Their thresds are as likely to be about non cycling stuff, as MN is to be about non-parenting stuff.

That's the official stance but I think you'll find that you're not particularly welcome by me anyway. You're like an unwelcome guest. We can't very well get rid of you, we tolerate you but we don't appreciate your presence.

No one has said you are a man in this thread

PMSL. Krytie is sound more like a man with every post they put.

Well, there's one here for starters.

You do sound like a man though. She didn't say you are one. She said you sound like one. I agreed.

we are going to have to leave it there kryten

I did not read that as them calling you a man...and you obviously have read it that way

You're like an unwelcome guest. We can't very well get rid of you, we tolerate you but we don't appreciate your presence.

That works both ways, from where I'm standing you're the one with the anger, the intolerance and the unwelcome guest.

Exactly. It's not saying 'men can't talk' its about having a space to talk about male abuse which is experienced by millions upon millions of women without men (or even worse, women) popping on to say NAMALT.

Yup. This is a huge problem right now. In the past week or so there have been HUGE threads full of NAMALTing and such. its ridiculous. Every thread about male violence goes exactly the same way. usually within the first 5 posts someone will pop up to inform us that a woman can do it too and that...so bloody irritating

Where is this anger Kryten?

I think it’s a case of people infringing on boards they shouldn’t. As people have pointed out it’s a forum for everyone and originally I guess parents so men will come here.

But it grates when they pop up on posts about sexual assault, domestic violence, feminism etc. In the same way that I wouldn’t post in the infertility forum as that’s not my experience currently and it’s a safe space for people to discuss really personal things.

Manspreading in action across forum boards.

What does NAMALT stand for? I must have missed that one somewhere.

NAMALT means Not All Men Are Like That.

Not all men are like that

Which everyone bloody knows but some people think it's appropriate to come on threads talking about sexual assault and say it...time after time after time

Thanks

meltingmarshmallows that's it exactly.

I have seen plenty of self proclaimed men posting NAMKT remarks and derailing on MN threads that have nothing whatsoever to do with parenting, so I'm not buying the faux surprise "but, but, it's a parenting forum" bullshit

We need some sort of header for all discussions of horrible male behaviour:

yes, we know namalt
yes, we know some women do it too
we apologise, fully and without reservation, for our tone and our language which we agree could be seen, by some, as inflammatory

Then we can just go 'speak to the header' or similar in response to derailments

You really don’t have to be an abuse apologist or a man to disagree with the viewpoint that all men are creeps.

The sneering and snarkiness towards Krytens - do you pronounce it Cretins - for one - telling her to join a MRA site - for another, is really unbearable.

Those who suggests she leaves the site are also those who insist they are entitled to their point of view. Irony much?

The fact that a number of people have reported this thread suggests that they are a silent group who don’t want to be exposed to attacks, purely because they disagree with an extremely vocal group who band together and try and shame anyone who disagrees with them.

There is such a thing as nuance. I can believe it’s appalling for any man to abuse, attack, demean, stalk, patronise or shout down any woman. I can simultaneously believe that there are men who would never do any of those things - because I know some of them personally.

I can also argue with, report, ignore and avoid trolls, some of whom are men. That doesn’t mean that all men on here have no contributions to make.

You choose not to like men on here. Saying I disagree isn’t shutting you down, it’s expressing an alternative view. If you accuse me of being a troll, a man or apologist for abusers that would be shutting ME down.

YY meltingmarshmallows

I am so pleased that we have reached peak ‘safe space’ and we are finally seeing a backlash.

Where is this anger Kryten?

You're really asking that? It seems like you're deliberately on the wind up now.

Thank you Sketchily

sketchily

You really don’t have to be an abuse apologist or a man to disagree with the viewpoint that all men are creeps

No one on the thread was saying all men are creeps

A few women did say they were afraid...but it was hard to hear them over all the NAMALT comments

I suggest we set up a knitting thread and then can discuss anything but knitting (now known as ABK) free from men's input. Next I'll be told but but but MEN can enjoy knitting too!

How about a mooncup washing thread Bob?

The fact that a number of people have reported this thread suggests that they are a silent group who don’t want to be exposed to attacks

My understanding is that its very poor form to say that you are reporting

I report all sorts of personal attacks...but i dont tell everyone, it seems a bit, well weird to do that