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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hairzilla 2

405 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 21/10/2017 11:08

Thankyou so much for so much support over the previous threads.

I thought a lot about how to respond to F1.
I told her without a proper talk I dont think I can put it behind us.
She suggested we meet up tonight after Ive finished work so we can talk properly.
F2&3 have agreed to be there so another repeat of her flying off the handle doesnt happen.

This time around Im hoping for an explaination and an apology now shes had time to calm down.

OP posts:
YouCantArgueWithStupid · 21/10/2017 19:07

Good luck!

PoorYorick · 21/10/2017 19:07

Good luck OP. You are 100% in the right.

LIZS · 21/10/2017 19:08

You are being very generous giving her the opportunity to explain. It won't really change anything though, damage is done. Sounds like she was trying to impress at your expense and it backfired spectacularly. Be prepared to call a halt to the discussion as she may well try to portray herself as a victim and be self indulgent and pity seeking.

jayne1384 · 21/10/2017 19:10

Good luck xx

TickedOff · 21/10/2017 19:11

Oh Kung, you seem like such a wonderful person, so I’m sending you these Flowers and wishing you lots of luck.

Don’t ever change, f1 has been lucky to have you as a friend and if things go wrong tonight it’s her loss.

FlowersFlowers

ohtheholidays · 21/10/2017 19:12

I can't imagine what she can say that will make everything she's done be something that you can forgive.

Does she know F2 and F3 are going to be there?If she doesn't(not that you owe her any pre warning after all she didn't give you one when she offered up your services)know your not going to be alone I can see her acting differently than if you were alone.

What ever she says don't forget you are not the one in the wrong Kung she owns that all on her own!

And I hope she has an explanation about when she was going to tell you what she'd done or was she just going to let the poor soul who won that prize turn up at your salon with you none the wiser?!

Good Luck Flowers

AlternativeTentacle · 21/10/2017 19:13

There will be a sob story of some description and possibly a flounce. I'd like to think she would hang her head in shame and apologise.

JammyGem · 21/10/2017 19:13

Good luck! I'm glad you have the other two who sound like they'll have your back if she starts on you again.

FuzzyCustard · 21/10/2017 19:15

kung I hope you come out of tonight feeling better...for yourself, regardless of what CF says or does. Don't let her drain you of anything positive. You've done all you can.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 21/10/2017 19:16

Good luck!

Abouttoblow · 21/10/2017 19:17

Good luck tonight. You sound like a genuinely nice person. Don't let her put you down Flowers

ImNotAFlower · 21/10/2017 19:20

Good luck KungFu, I hope she does the right and thing and you get a proper apology even if things can’t be the same.WineFlowers

Athome77 · 21/10/2017 19:27

Any news yet?

QueenAmongstMen · 21/10/2017 19:29

You've been so dignified and kind throughout this whole fiasco and I hope you get the apology you deserve Flowers

MiddleClassProblem · 21/10/2017 19:32

Good luck, Panda.

I think if it had just been a snap reaction it would be more understandable but she had not only maintained that she is right and your wrong for a few days but she has been nasty with it.

You can’t go back to how it was and none of it is your fault, IMO.

TeeniefaeTroon · 21/10/2017 19:36

Good luck x

blanklook · 21/10/2017 19:37

Good Luck Panda Flowers

Cupoteap · 21/10/2017 19:39

Good luck - at least it’s a public place so can’t e too much drama

IncyWincyGrownUp · 21/10/2017 19:39

Wishing you a peaceful and productive meeting.

TemptressofWaikiki · 21/10/2017 19:39

Part of me wishes that you get an unreserved apology. But on the other hand, she is a toxic friend and going back to ‘normal’ may just mean her continuing to try and take you for granted. Think you will need to get a jar ready though. I predict there will be enough crocodile tears to fill a pool.

LadyWithLapdog · 21/10/2017 19:39

Ginkypig and Roussette Flowers it's hard losing friendships.

Good luck, OP. Good of your other friends to give their Saturday evening for the drama queen F1.

MrsGoToBed80 · 21/10/2017 19:41

I have a feeling (and I hope I'm wrong) that F1 is going to try and tell you off OP, and then sort of turn it round and say 'but I forgive you'. She sounds like a manipulative old bag, be prepared.

Stay strong. You know you're in the right here, do not let her guilt you into saying 'oh don't worry it's ok'. It is not ok.

I'm hoping you get the apology you deserve!

MorganFreeman · 21/10/2017 19:43

don't want too appear strange bringing notes to the meeting

Nowt wrong with strange Smile

HotelEuphoria · 21/10/2017 19:49

I agree with Mrs gotobed

LazyDailyMailJournos · 21/10/2017 19:50

I think she's so far entrenched into her position of being the wronged victim, that she'll never back down. I hope I am wrong for OP's sake, but F1's actions so far - refusing to reply to texts, then harassing OP and her DH for an update, refusing to even contribute £15, then shouting abuse at OP - all suggest this is someone who won't admit they are wrong, much less face the fact that their actions were incredibly inappropriate and hurtful.