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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hairzilla 2

405 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 21/10/2017 11:08

Thankyou so much for so much support over the previous threads.

I thought a lot about how to respond to F1.
I told her without a proper talk I dont think I can put it behind us.
She suggested we meet up tonight after Ive finished work so we can talk properly.
F2&3 have agreed to be there so another repeat of her flying off the handle doesnt happen.

This time around Im hoping for an explaination and an apology now shes had time to calm down.

OP posts:
SugaredSocks · 21/10/2017 21:47

Fairly gob smacked by her sheer brass neck and entitlement. Can I be your friend instead? You seem lovely and I already have a hairdresser too Wink On a serious note I’m glad you are ok and feel more like the veil has been lifted than upset. I can only imagine it would call her friendship with the others into question as well. Sadly no matter what happens she’ll paint herself as the victim and look for other kind people to latch on to and use for her own gain. I’m glad you can walk away knowing you did nothing wrong and were actually incredibly generous in the circumstances not just to her but also to the school.

Willow2017 · 21/10/2017 21:47

When they handed out brains she missed the queue didn't she?

What a stupid, selfish cow.

Sorry it turned out that way Panda but its good that everyone knows what a jealous shallow person she is and can move on.

She is going to be lonely if she measures friends by what they can do for her.
[Flowers]

Hebenon · 21/10/2017 21:47

Oh no. Sorry Kung. You sound like a nice person. I'm sorry it worked out like this. F2 and F3 sound like a pair of diamonds, though.

LaContessaDiPlump · 21/10/2017 21:48

Is there any reason she can't work? I mean, does she want to work? Is she constrained by circumstances to her current situation?
If so then jealousy might have clouded her reason.

If she actively does not want to work but also resents the funds your work brings to you, though.... words fail me. There's no place for logic there.

Sorry Kung.

TemptressofWaikiki · 21/10/2017 21:48

Given her whole demeanour so far, I’m sadly not even surprised. It’s shocking to find out that someone you considered as a dear friend, actually really resents and doesn’t even like you all that much. Her actions very much shown that. I have been there and went through a bit of a journey of self-discovery from very much bending over backwards for CF friends to calling time on piss takers. The transition was a bit tough and I felt hurt by similar sort of behaviour. But my life really is a lot less stressful now. Your ex friend probably got confused with all the favours you did for her.

FlyingJellyfishInTheAttic · 21/10/2017 21:49

OP that is so awful. I can't believe she said that.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 21/10/2017 21:49

Oh wow. I am sorry it has ended like this.
Hold your head up high. You're better off without her in your life.

DobbyLovesSocks · 21/10/2017 21:50

Wow. Just. Wow

Well, you can't polish a turd. You're better off without

Ellie56 · 21/10/2017 21:51

F1 was always a twat OP. You just didn't realise it before. And the fact that no one can remember one thing she's ever done for you shows the friendship was only ever one sided. She was only in it for what you could do for her. You are well rid OP.

I guess the household's one adult's income will have to cover hair cuts too from now on Grin

Bratsandtwats · 21/10/2017 21:51

I'm sorry that she's not the friend you thought she was Flowers

Now have a few Gin to cheer yourself up!

mapie · 21/10/2017 21:52

She's a very silly woman, how sad for both of you.

hollie11 · 21/10/2017 21:54

**
I guess the household's one adult's income will have to cover hair cuts too from now on grin

pmsl at this

FluffyNinja · 21/10/2017 21:55

So because you work and she doesn't, she's entitled to benefit from you financially?
She's batshit and completely deluded about how true friendship works.
At least your real friends have evidenced her manipulative behaviour for themselves. Forget her and continue to be a successful independent businesswoman. That's your real revenge.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 21/10/2017 21:56

She didnt answer the texts or calls back because she didnt see the problem, I do her discounts and freebies, I should have just seen the donation as one of her freebies. I have never once done any of CC for free! Quick blow dry or updo, yeah.

F1 cut the frienship with F2&3 before her exit. She said she cant remain friends with people who would side with someone who stabbed her in the back. F2 said she wasnt siding with anyone but did she not understand what she did was wrong. F1 straight faced actually said, no I dont see the big deal. F3 turned around and said conversation is over then isnt it.

I think she was realising her excuses and sob stories werent working she turned her drama dial up.

OP posts:
kali110 · 21/10/2017 21:56

Jesus Shock you are better off.

FlyingJellyfishInTheAttic · 21/10/2017 21:57

Shock how can he not get it?? One of her freebies?? She doesn't have a claim on you!

kali110 · 21/10/2017 21:58

And she wanted other friends to side with her? What is she on??
Does she have many friends?
How entitled can you get??

AcrossthePond55 · 21/10/2017 21:58

Privileged? My Aunt Fanny! I'd say the 'privileged' one is the one who doesn't have to go out to work every day! She's very lucky that her DH earns enough to permit her to stay home! Don't get me wrong, SAHMs do work, but not a bit harder than those of us who have to go to work all day and then come home and do domestic work, too. She and her DH made their choice for her to stay home, it's naught to do with the choices you've made.

The 'loss' of her friendship appears to be no loss at all.

I probably would have rocked myself out of there to a loud blast of "Get a Job".

ReanimatedSGB · 21/10/2017 21:58

Oh dear. It's pretty grim to realise just quite how resentful and self-obsessed some people can be.
Thing is , even if it's the case that she can't take on a waged job because she has a health problem or her DC have additional needs, or there's another family member she has to provide support for, it's not your fault. You're not responsible for her career or her income. Her resentment of you is completely irrational.

I wonder if she's lost other friends, over the years, due to this stupidly entitled attitude, and you and the rest of your group have stuck with her because you were friends for so long, and you felt a bit sorry for her...

diddl · 21/10/2017 21:59

Bloody hell.

Incredible that someone can be so unaware.

Wonder what shit she's told her husband!

DioneTheDiabolist · 21/10/2017 22:00

That was all a bit wick OP.Thanks

C0untDucku1a · 21/10/2017 22:00

Bloody hell how entitled is she!

hollie11 · 21/10/2017 22:01

Wonder what her new Facebook status will be now Grin hilariously dramatic me thinks

HashiAsLarry · 21/10/2017 22:01

Did she ever say if she was going to let you know at all?

If she was a remotely normal person with remote empathy she'd have realised putting someone in the position of requesting a free cut and colour at a salon where they know nothing about it was pretty fucking awful.

F2 and f3 must realise that if she can pull this on you, then she can pull this on them. Whilst I know you don't appreciate public spats, I wouldn't put too much emphasis on telling them not to give the truth to people at school. Especially if they can big up how generous you were to the school by still giving them something Wink

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 21/10/2017 22:02

She's unhinged! And I think she's going to regret this - that's three of her closest friends she's cut out, not to mention the PTA now being wary of her. She's going to wind up alone with no one to blame but herself.