Or is my MIL?

[smileygrapefruit]

MIL just rang DH to say his younger brother has missed his last train to be able to get home from uni for the weekend....could he go get him? This would be a 4 hour round trip for DH who has just got in from work. DH said he would talk to me and ring her back. I said it is a ridiculous request and at 19 his brother can sort himself out!! DH agreed with me and rang MIL back but she's making him feel guilty and trying to persuade him. Are we being unreasonable?!

Bil is taking the piss
Get up for the early train or don't work with whatever consequences might ensue.

No way should your dh go & get him. In his shoes I'd say v clearly it's up to bil to sort himself out, turn off the phone & have a drink.

He'll just have to get his arse out of bed, then.

Had something gone badly wrong with the trains then I'm sure your DH would have been happy to work on a solution to getting him to where he needs to be. But no, he's just being fecking useless and he needs to be the one inconvenienced by that. Not your DH.

How far fro the station does he live?

He might as well go home now & get some rest ready for an early start tomorrow.

We have put feet firmly down and she's trying to guilt trip DH. I've just given him a beer and ordered a curry. Tough shit.

In that case, he's on his own. No way should your DH go and rescue him. He's Don't either done that on purpose, or his mummy shouldn't let him return to university as he's apparently too immature.

Well he's going to have an early start tomorrow then!

"Just had her on the phone again... He missed that train we suggested."

How could he miss a train when he was at the station?

Hurrah for you OP! Now turn the phones off

Tell your MIL this conversation is over and no more calls or texts will be answered tonight. This woman is delusional and your BIL is spoilt, irresponsible little shit.

Well done, tell him to enjoy his beer and curry. He is 19 and not any of your problem. 5.30 is perfectly acceptable time to get up when you have a responsibilities. Also if it had been your dp at 19 doing the same thing who would have she organised to rescue him? I’m thinking it’s likely nobody.

I would suggest that he doesn't actually want to come home.

No wonder.

Taxi?
Really Bobbie?
You think a student can afford a 2 hour taxi journey? Did you even RTFT?

Tough shit to the brother, there is a train he can catch in the morning!

So getting up at 5.30 is too much for the little darling but a 4 hour round trip is OK for your DH.

Give him another 3 beers so he is unable to drive.

Just out of interest Smiley how did he miss the train?

No clue how he missed the train. Yes, perhaps he didn't want to come home.. .wouldn't blame him!

He either doesn't want to come home or he phoned his mumknowing rightly that she'd ask your DH to get him. I bet he wants to go to a party.

Er, no, he's 19 and living away from home, he can deal with a missed train.

I just think it's mad that he had the whole day and still managed to miss a train, unless he was in work till 7pm and was late out?

Sounds to me more like your BIL doesn't want to come home this weekend OP. Would there be a reason that your BIL would wish to avoid work tomorrow morning?

4 hour round trip is way too far to pick up at short notice on a Friday night. MIL is being unreasonable there.

Has he pulled by any chance and has a better offer than a night in with mil?

No idea if there's a reason he'd want to miss work. Tbh at that age I probably would have pulled a stunt like this so I didn't miss a party at uni! Fair play.

Oh, and I would be surprised if he made tomorrow morning's train. But for once, I'm going to ask for an update tomorrow morning to see if he made it no chance

If he's had a better offer though why not just say either can't make it until tomorrow or not at all?

Is he relying on not being given a lift so that he can blame your OH, Op?

BIL didn't ask DH for a lift. He rang MIL saying he's missed his train and MIL contacted and contacted and contacted DH to try sort it out.

MIL says that's unfair to make him get up at 5.30am

What is unfair is babying a 19 yr old to the extent they don't take on management of their own lives.

I'm pretty indulgent at times at helping out adult kids and their friends but they know its 'indulgence' and are quite able to get their own backsides out of bed, run their lives and homes without my help. If I didn't know they could do this I'd be less inclined to indulge when I have the opportunity.