Or is my MIL?

[smileygrapefruit]

MIL just rang DH to say his younger brother has missed his last train to be able to get home from uni for the weekend....could he go get him? This would be a 4 hour round trip for DH who has just got in from work. DH said he would talk to me and ring her back. I said it is a ridiculous request and at 19 his brother can sort himself out!! DH agreed with me and rang MIL back but she's making him feel guilty and trying to persuade him. Are we being unreasonable?!

Suggest mil puts £30 to cover a B&B in his bank account!?

Also, my does this young man need his mother to figure this out for him?

Blimey. Id say "mum i need to sit on my ass and take it easy"

I would ask mil to come round and baby sit over night and then ask got money for petrol and b and b . Then get up 530 to drive back

and who is supposed to pay for petrol for this rescue mission? MIL ? BIL? or is your DH meant to pay for that as well as give up his time.

I wouldn't go - it would be a valuable life lesson for BIL and perhps make him grow up a bit.

BIL is 12 years younger than DH , they don't have a very close relationship and BIL is definitely a mummy's boy and used to being babied. So that's why he hadn't rung DH, he would never have thought to I don't think.

MIL says that's unfair to make him get up at 5.30am.

It's unfair for your DH to drive 4 hours, or even 1.5, as it seems he's going to do.

Op, he's still young, his mummy dearest is making him the incompetent twat! It's not his fault he can't navigate life if he's not - - allowed - - left to do it.

Your MIL is BU, DB can get the first train, coach, multiple buses, a taxi at his or MIL's expense. If I were in the right mood, I might do it myself if I really got on with my sibling, not had a long day, etc. but your DH should not feel obligated. Is it a common occurrence for her to expect your DH to bail his brother out?

Oh DH will not be reimbursed for petrol. That I am certain of.

How on earth is he meant to learn a lesson here if he is bailed out?

And mil reinforcing that your dh is not a favoured child - 4 hours of his time worth less than an early start for bil.

There is so much wrong here. Dh needs to learn to stop acquiescing. For that, I suppose he needs to learn not to care. Not easy I know.

BIL sounds like a precious little snowflake.

What has been decided OP? is your poor DH having to go meet him?

I'm not even joking. Just had her on the phone again... He missed that train we suggested.

That’s it then. He can sort himself out tomorrow.

Just say no! Let BIL sort himself out. He needs to learn!

In that case I would suggest leaving him to sort himself out!

Pathetic
probably deliberate
It is now far to late for your DH to go, he should decline.
Let MIL pay a taxi if she is that concerned he gets home tonight

Game's a bogie then. Off to bed and think no more of it.

Pity DH hasn't had a couple of drinks to make driving impossible.

Might I suggest telling her to learn to drive in case her precious little snowflake ever comes a cropper again?
Or tell her he's an adult and therefore his own responsibility, so fuck off, we're going to bed...

No way! Absofuckinglutely do not go get him. 19 is an adult. If you MIL insists on making sure her adult son remains an incompetent immature man-child and continue this frankly unhealthy dynamic ..SHE can pay for him to get back.
Not use your more mature DH to help her keep BIL a dependent little mummy's boy and wipe his lil bum for him cause he forgot his train.

The nerve. Or as you'd all say, "cheek"

Lazy little sod is probably missing them on purpose so he gets a free ride, he's clearly used to people running around after him.

Say no! You found a solution and he fucked it up.

BIL will probably miss tomorrow morning's train too and expect MIL to make his excuses at work !!

it is totally unreasonable of your MIL to put this on your DH. Put your foot down (if you can)

And I don't drive before anyone says anything, I'd never expect my ds at 19 to be so pathetic though. Hasn't even called his own brother to ask nicely!
If dh left now he wouldn't be home til gone 1.30am. Whys his time less precious than pathetic db

Well that's the end of that then. if he can't be buggered to make either train then so be it. He can get up at 5.30am, or I suspect miss train number 3. His call.

I'm sure your dh is loving all this stress after a full day's work on a Friday night. Firm 'well it looks like he's chosen the early start then, night mum' and turn the phone off.

I concur DH needs to have a relaxing drink or fall asleep he is soooo tired