Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH returned from a business trip with a surprise...

147 replies

Somerville · 20/10/2017 14:19

That he's started growing a beard.

It looks like he's been on a five day bender, and he's all prickly to kiss. Angry

But my AIBU is... he promised me a surprise. I thought it might be a large box of macarons. Or a tiny box of Hévin chocolates.

AIBU that a face full of prickly stubble is not a surprise?

(I think it goes without saying. But just in case: LIGHTHEARTED)

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/10/2017 21:29

Somer yes... yes they were. Grin I should find the album and pull it out for the amusement of the DDs, they would find it hilarious.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/10/2017 21:33

It's not patchy is it? Different colour I could handle but patchiness is just scruffy.

Looking askance and withholding smooches are your way to go.

Original poster
Somerville · 20/10/2017 21:49

Not patchy in that no patches of skin aren't covered with hair. But the colours are very patchy so it does look scruffy.
And you should def show your kids those photos. Grin

Cold He was only away for 5 days, and very busy so he could rush home to take over with baby today and let me get some R&R. Which I prefer to him spending time trawling for macarons. But overpromising a surprise is not on, right?!

OP posts:
forceslover · 20/10/2017 22:09

Hate beards. I refuse to go near my husband if he is too lazy to shave.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 20/10/2017 22:15

If he's rushed to get home, and has properly taken on role as primary carer for baby while he's home so you can get some proper rest, then I'd let him off if I was you.

My DH has cuddles with our 4 week old for about 5-10 mins before she comes back to "the Milk machine" Hmm though to be fair I don't think she likes him. Maybe it's the near constantly present stubble??!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 20/10/2017 22:17

Over promising a surprise is NEVER ok. Hopefully must be educated!!

Original poster
Somerville · 20/10/2017 22:33

I wouldn't go quite as far as primary carer, since I'm ebf. But he's either had baby in the sling or been doing housework since he got home. Star And they're in the spare bedroom, with a bottle of expressed milk, tonight.
My older DC are away for the weekend with extended family, so we have a very rare opportunity for a restful weekend.

(Have you tried expressing to give yourself a bit of a break?)

OP posts:
bunbunny · 20/10/2017 23:13

Would not be happy with beard, lack of macarons or a spaniel puppy...

Hope that he at least managed to pick up a toblerone for you at the airport - actually two, one for being away, and a second in compensation for the fact he no obviously no longer wants to be kissed while he is growing his prickles so you need something instead...

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 21/10/2017 09:17

How was your night Somerville? Did you get much rest while DH and DS were in the spare room?? Part of me wants to say your DH is a star for pitching in so much after having a really busy few days away but I know that would be frowned upon by many on MN!!

I've expressed a few feeds. DH gave DD2 a 3.5oz last week while I had a bath (with DD1 not on my own unfortunately!) but it didn't settle her for long. Within 30-60 mins she was screaming for me again.
DD2 settles better with my mum or sister -:must be the boobs!!

sashh · 21/10/2017 09:24

ThumbWitchesAbroad

I'm sitting giggling at that.

Original poster
Somerville · 21/10/2017 09:42

Well despite giving baby a late, long feed, my boobs felt like they were going to explode at 5am. So I went and got him back. But DH got up with him as soon as he started squeaking this morning, so I'm still, blissfully, in bed.

OP posts:
ColdFeetWarmHeart · 21/10/2017 09:47

Unfortunately breasts don't get the memo about wanting a full nights sleep.

Have you been able to go back to sleep since DH got up with baby or are you just enjoying having your arms to yourself??

Eolian · 21/10/2017 09:51

I really don't like beards. Dh goes through phases of having one. I just grin and bear it and wait for the phase to wear off. I don't think any men look better with beards. Hipster ones look twattish, and long grizzly ones look grim and unhygienic.

Original poster
Somerville · 21/10/2017 09:56

Exactly, Eolian.

Cold I slept again til gone eight - twas bliss! Then fed my greedy son again, while side-eyeing 6-day-facial-hair-DH.

OP posts:
arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens · 21/10/2017 10:30

NRTWT but ^ to PP who said about profiling at airports. My brother and I are both British & apparently ‘white’ but we both have deep olive skin. He’s also a bugger for having stubble/full beard and regularly gets pulled at airports / checkpoints for additional security. The best bit about that is that while he was in the forces this appearance helped his career (iyswim) so thankfully he sees the funny side.

But YANBU about it not being an acceptable surprise! I would insist on a large box of macarons / handmade chocolates / fine wine (or all three!) next time!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/10/2017 10:39

sashh Grin

Somer - no, thankfully the beard and the baldy balls did not coincide!

He also tried out a goatee once. We both decided it really wasn't a good look on him. I don't like him to be not cleanshaven either, though, because he has dark facial hair, and it sits in his face creases and looks "dirty", if you know what I mean. No.2 son really hates him being spiky too.

viques · 21/10/2017 10:49

I can't believe he did that. not even a fecking giant toblerone? LTB.

Trills · 21/10/2017 11:10

I thought it was going to be a puppy

And that you were not impressed because a puppy is something that should be discussed.

TheNaze73 · 21/10/2017 11:21

I immediately thought a dose like others have said. Beard is a win. Shaving a face daily is unnatural

Pilgit · 21/10/2017 11:37

I absolutely loathe beards. I hate the way it feels - like kissing sandpaper. I actually took sandpaper to DHs face once to try and prove my point. Yes, he has a choice about facial hair but I also have a choice about kissing and sex. If I am going to get sandpapered there is no chance in hell of a kiss or nookie. I know some women like it - I don't. It's painful and vile.

Liiinoo · 21/10/2017 11:45

My dad had a beard my entire life. When I was about 22 he came to my flat to give me a lift somewhere. He rang on the entry phone and I came downstairs to meet him. Only he wasn't there - just a very good-looking clean shaven young-ish man. I passed him by and started looking around for my dad. It was only when the youngish man spoke to me I realised he was my dad! He had grown a beard 25 years before to disguise his baby face and shaved it off when it had gone greyer than his hair revealing his still very youthful face. For the next few months I had to choke back tears every time I saw him as he just didn't look like my dad anymore. My mum also took a few months to adjust.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/10/2017 12:09

Liiinoo - that happened to my boss years ago as well! He'd had a beard since he was 19, and then in his mid-40s shaved it off for charity - his family refused to speak to him until it grew back!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 21/10/2017 12:17

After seeing your reaction has DH decided to shave yet?? Did the older dcs see him before their weekend away or are they yet to experience this shock surprise??!!

My DH has just taken DD1 to her class. He's wearing a blue top today and for some reason his 3.5 day growth looks MUCH worse against blue than his standard black top. I am very glad that I won't be seen in public with him!! Have also told him to shave the second he gets home and that he looks like a twat!!

Failingtobefrugal1 · 21/10/2017 12:50

Shave it off in the night and when he wakes shout surprise! #rightbackatya

0ccamsRazor · 21/10/2017 14:08

I like my dh hairy, love a decent beard, his is soft and smells of him. I find shaved men a bit Hmm, hate the scratchy feel of shaved chins.

Quite Shock at some of posts here though, expecting their men to shave, a mans facial/body hair is totally up to him. Just as woman's hair is up to her.