DH returned from a business trip with a surprise...

[Somerville]

That he's started growing a beard.

It looks like he's been on a five day bender, and he's all prickly to kiss.

But my AIBU is... he promised me a surprise. I thought it might be a large box of macarons. Or a tiny box of Hévin chocolates.

AIBU that a face full of prickly stubble is not a surprise?

(I think it goes without saying. But just in case: LIGHTHEARTED)

business trip not strip.

Check out Mr Natty for your newly hipster DH!

Nope, not my idea of a surprise. I've never actually had macarons though. Put off by the colours.

In fairness it is a surprise.

An unwelcome and unpleasant surprise, yes, but he never said it would be a nice surprise...

oh the prickles - poor you !
My DH grew his beard on our honeymoon...... married for over 40 years now , and he still has the beard . He was totally unfashionable then - now he just thinks everyone has caught up with him!

IIWM a campaign against the beard would be needed:

Exhibit on the fridge door pictures of dead hedgehogs/kissing sportsmen/Wanted! posters of H pre-the beast/Vajazzle ads
Exclude H from using any shared bathroom basins and make him trim his face over the kitchen sink or outside
Then sarcastic 'ooerr' noises when you hear the clippers going
You wear a balaclava and thick knickers to bed to prevent facial and BJ agony

Poor you.

I honestly expected this to be a non-lighthearted thread about an STD, so I think a beard is a win!

I think surprising him but not shaving any of your body hair would be a nice way to return the favour.

I was in Finland the other week and the hotel had macarons as part of the breakfast buffet. Much better than congealed scrambled egg.

DH grew a short one last winter - once it gets a little bit longer it stops being prickly.

My proviso was he had to get it maintained at the barbers so it was neat. It actually really suited him. Had it a couple of months then got fed up and shaved it off.

Yeah, in fairness, he never said you'd like his surprise

Okay... an STI or shaved balls (WTF?) would definitely be worse.

But what man thinks "Oh I know, I'll promise my 6week-post-partum wife a surprise from Paris. Oh yes... I'll make myself less handsome and give her stubble rash."

I'm nobly resisting the urge to tell him to shave, because his body, his rules and all that. He tried it back when we were dating and I was clear I didn't think it suited him. There's nothing left but to go on a snogging strike, is there?

Well, it's preferable to an STD which is what I was going to discover upon opening this thread!

Which is what I thought I was going to discover

How nice to hear from you Somerville. I recently thought of your pre-wedding threads and wonderered how you were.

I would be a bit peeved too. A surprise from a business trip should be chocolate or come in a very small velvet lined box. My DH once brought me back a live lobster because 'there was nothing else to buy' in Helsinki airport.

Agreed on the STI front...

I hate beards: all facial hair is quite creepy to me; but DP with stubble is the best thing ever. I love it more than he does. He usually keeps it for me, though.

Any chance you’ll grow to love it?

Regardless, he owes you a surprise!

he can grow a beard if he wants...

you can refuse to kiss him with the beard if you want.

Live lobster

See, liiinooo that'd make me laugh, and it's tasty, so it'd be fine.

I thought he was going to bring you a puppy. Send him back till he finds you something nicer than a monkey face.

Oh hey Somerville, I didn't realise it was you! That'll teach me to check the OP's name

Glad things are going so well, apart from the beard. DH grew one of those once too, but he looked like David Bellamy, so it had to go.

Urgh. Beards. Gross.

If they expect us to shave our legs let alone wax our bikini lines*, the least they can do is drag a razor across their face.

*I know not ALL, but let's face it, most.

Can't possibly send him back on this occasion - baby has a cold and I need him to take a turn. Though baby isn't enjoying his kisses either. His first word will be ouch rather than dada, at this rate.

Send him into your lady garden - that's all stubble is good for...

Hey Thumb. Did your fella have bald balls at the same point he looked like David Bellamy? Because that would be truly disturbing

GreenFingers
TBF he's never stated expectations about my body hair (is that unusual these days?). When I was pregnant and sad that I couldn't reach to shave my legs, he took over doing them and it turned out to be rather hot - maybe I'll offer to shave his face...

Ah, make it about the baby! It takes the emphasis off you not liking it...

Another one who thought he'd brought back the clap!

God, NewLove, I've only just had my 6 week check. He's getting nowhere near me with a face like a brill cloth!

Ha! DH has grown a beard a few times. There was a point, about 6 days in, where a couple of the hairs on his spiky, not-quite-ripe moustache stuck up in such a way that when we kissed they tickled me on the edge of my nose. I'd then have a massive sneezing fit.

It was like that terrible film Mortdecai, but with sneezing.

Strangely he hasn't grown one recently

Anyway, show him this, but for god's sake DON'T watch the film, I don't want to be responsible for your acute misery.