To ask which one sentence changed your life?

[broccoliicecream]

I’ll start.

‘My god girl- You’re pregnant.’

Said by a Dr to a 14 year old me.

I have many, but the 2 that jump out are "give up, you are not good enough and no one would want to look at you anyhow" from my mother about singing. I was singing opera and she said this when I was 14, right after a dress rehearsalat a major venue. I finished the performances and never sang on stage again.

"This is XXXXXXXX, she is our paediatric hospice worker"
Kind of speaks for itself.

“Who ARE you? This isn’t you.”

Said to me by one of my best friends when I was telling her how I had almost burst into tears when my son’s teacher had said something rather derogatory. Fifteen years ago I would have stood up for myself; that day all I could do was bow my head and try not to cry.

Her comment made me see that I wasn’t the person I had been, and it made me think about what was going on in my life, how much I had been beaten down by the abuse I was still suffering at the hands of my now exH.

We S eparated almost two years ago and, although I’m still not free from his abuse, I’m getting there.

"Sit down and be quiet. You are drunk and this is the edge of the roof."

A Sufi proverb. It works for me, I don't know why.

"I slept with someone else"

A few.

"Sweetie what he's done to you, that's rape. That's illegal."

"You're not alone. We believe you. We will get you and your kids out of there."

Both said by the angel at women's aid who answered the phone when I finally plucked up the courage to call them.

"Youre worth every single second I have to wait for you to be ready"- my current boyfriend.

"You have a girl!" Midwife.

"Do you want to lift the leg up and look yourself? Oh a boy! Happy birthday little man!" Midwife again.

Had a shitty day today so only mentioning the nice ones.

My beautiful big sis “no Acorn, its not Nanna, its mum”
My big brother about my beautiful big sister who raised me“Acorn, she refused visitors and cut the pressure bandage off, there was nothing that could be done”
My dads partner “it was because he stopped snoring i woke up, the silence was strange”

The silence is deafening sometimes

"I'm so sorry Mum, it's heroin. Will you help me?" said my son in tears.

I entered a world I never knew existed.

Go ahead and kikl yourself if you want. Dd3 (newborn) will never remember you. Dd2 (toddler) will forget you soon. But how on earth could you do that to dd1 (8) she would be devastated.

Said by my mum and snapped me out my suicidal thoughts.

Harsh sentance but it hit me hard & light a flick of a switch I realised how tragic it would be for my beautiful babies to not have me

'I'm sorry ladies ' from police officer who broke into my brother's room and found him after his suicide.

I'm afraid we've run out of treatment options!

• my dad's oncologist, 2 days ago

A more positive one was an older, former work colleague I didn't particularly get on with, who told me one day "don't be afraid to pamper yourself, because no one else is going to come and do it for you".
As someone who's always been the "coper", taking care of everyone else and feeling incredibly guilty if I ever did anything for myself, that was life-changing!

"What do YOU want to do?" DH after scraping through my degree with a low grade, giving me permission to do what I wanted, instead of pleasing everyone all the time.

"I'm feeling really lightheaded" DH, and the beginning of a different life with chronic illness.

"This is a very accomplished piece of work" at the beginning of my PhD viva, giving me a good sense that I'd passed.

"It's a boy, I can't believe he's finally here" said by me after DS was born. Hoping I get to say that again after lots of subsequent early losses.

"We can't do anything else for him. We tried, we really did. I'm so sorry, but you have to let him go."
Said by Dr about my 19 day old D'S. He was gone less than an hour later. He would have been 8 on Monday.

"I don't love you anymore, you need to leave"
Said this week by me to H. I'm hoping this one changes my life for the better. I've put up with 6 years of mental and emotional abuse and I've just had enough.

Some of these are harrowing and there are. No words.

“I love your hair”
Message sent to me by an old flame from 18 years previously.
We’ve been together 4 years now, have a son and are getting married.

"Sometimes it's okay to just survive and not excel."

"Get a grip now or I'm bringing you home."

We have to separate because I can't do this anymore.

It's meningitis, he might not survive the night.
16 years ago about my now 17 year old

Worst 20 week scan. I think we have a problem with the heart

Best - this baby is perfect

Mum s has been arrested the Police are here and want to arrest me - can you have the kids.

So started my nightmare 3 years ago that is not over. Watching a child of yours being convicted of a crime they 100% have not committed and then watching them lose their home, career everything they owned and have to fight to keep their children as a result of the wrongful conviction. Then to see them have a total mental collapse and them and the children be diagnosed with PTSD

Being diagnosed with cancer a year later and having chemo plus double mastectomy was a walk in the park in comparison.

"you have the power to make him incredibly proud"

said by my Grandmother to me about my Grandfather, who was my favourite person in the world. That phrase spurred me on for the next 28 years, and still does, even though he died last year.

I'm sorry its bad, he won't last the night.

Said about my 6 year son on intensive care with Meningitis.
He is now 22 , at Uni & is an amazing son.

It wasn't said to me but around me about me.

'She is going to die if she doesn't change'

Also

'It's positive, it says 5+'

‘Hey love, it’s Mum, are you on your own there?’

My mum calling to tell me she had cancer. She died three months later. I can’t imagine how hard that call must’ve been for her.

'There's your baby. And there's your other baby.' Sonography to me.

'I'm sorry. There is nothing more we can do.' Very kind consultant to me as one of those babies died in my arms some months later.

Still makes my head spin how quickly I went from the happiest days of my life to the saddest.

This thread has just made me sob on the train to everyone in all the happy and sad times.

I am now 50, have NO confidence, and feel completely trapped

You can do it. Please start a thread in Relationships. There are many women there, myself included, who left a marriage when even older than you are now.

You'll get your confidence back and you'll have a lovely life full of making new memories.