Hairzilla.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

The next thread...

Fingers crossed for a nice update for you all.

Pleeeease Mumsnet HQ WILL YOU ADD A LIKE BUTTON it really would be so useful. Thanks in advance

Users push and push and take advantage until you can take no more, then they make you look like the bad guy.

You’ve done really well, Panda and handled yourself with dignity. I can understand the anger and upset that F1 has caused. Hopefully she will come back, cap in hand, with a meaningful apology and then, if you want to, you can rebuild the friendship.

Falling out with friends is horrid. I hope things all turn out for the best and F2 or f3 win your voucher

I text that PTA back

Everything is fine thankyou for asking. I'll get the voucher prepared and you can poo in anytime to get it.

F2&3 didnt see F1 this morning and ive heard nothing off her, so thats a bonus. Dont fancy a rematch.

*pop not poo

Just adding another message of support. Some people on the thread seem to have failed to realise F1 donated your money and time without asking you, and then both refused to pay for it wholly herself or even partially herself - despite being given plenty of opportunity to do so. When you contacted the PTA to offer a reduced donation and offered her a little wriggle room by saying there must have been some kind of mistake/ditziness on her part, she came to your place of business and verbally attacked you. I would be very hurt and upset, and people criticising your actions here are clueless. I hope you have a good weekend and there is no more drama.

Way to go high! Now go ahead and enjoy the rest of the day knowing that your RL 'proper' friends and around 1000 people online all think you've been terribly classy throughout this whole debacle.

On another note I bet the PTA have never had so much excitement !
Take care Kung your friend sounds like a loon

Nicely handled again kung
Hopefully you won't hear anything more, though I'm sure there'll be more Facebook posts!

Nicely handled again kung
Hopefully you won't hear anything more, though I'm sure there'll be more Facebook posts!

F1 sounds unhinged!

I feel for you OP, it is hard to be worked over by a friend and then be blamed for it. It sounds as though you're a sensitive person who would not normally want to retaliate in this way, it was tough for you I'm sure.

You've not really lost a friend, just a user whom you happen to know. I doubt that she could ever bear to apologise to you as this would mean admitting that she was wrong, which is just not in her make up.

I'm sure that somebody will bring it up at the PTA meeting though, this could have been difficult for them and they will want to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Imagine if it had got as far as the raffle before you found out, it would have been almost impossible for you to refuse to honour the imaginary gift and she would have successfully done you over.

As a writer said above, with "friends" like this who needs enemies?

Well done Kung! Handled with dignity.

KungFu, nicely done. Well done. Have a good w/e, thinking of you.

Dear OP,

I feel for you. The thing with being very accommodating, which you clearly are, (and that isn't a fault, btw) means you will sadly attract CFs of the highest order.

ANY way you had stood up to yourself, with or without involving other parties, would have resulted in F1s utter outrage, as you have suddenly lost that most favourable quality which allowed her to leech off you.

Contrary to some pps' opinions, these are CLASSIC narcissistic behaviours. People with a social conscience DO NOT behave this way. Would you? Or is this anathema to you, as this thread confirms it is to most people. The self-pitying, attention-seeking fb status really underlines this. A bully called out turns into a child.

You have been sorely used. The plus side is you will now most likely see her type coming a mile off.

In the meantime, try and put it out of your mind. No good will come of any further input from you, and rest assured your conscience is clear.

If you ever find yourself having a wobble over this, ask yourself what would have happened if the cut and colour hadn't been one of the top prizes so wasn't mentioned on the flyer? You'd have someone randomly, to you at least, showing up demanding their free treatment you may have felt you had to give to save your business reputation. You may have ended up complaining to the PTA then, same outcome just delayed.

I think you've handled this extremely well.

Engaging on a public forum like FB just makes the guilty party (F1) look spiteful and entitled. Let her 'hang' herself.

At this point if anyone (other than F2 & F3) tries to ask you about this, I'd just say 'it's all water under the bridge now and I'd just like to forget about it'.

I've never been in a job where I could offer 'services' or barter. But I've known a few people who are (mostly construction trade) and the things that are expected of them by 'friends and family' are beyond CF-ery. I used to envy them the ability to 'do deals' with other service providers on a barter basis and get things done 'cheaply', but I don't anymore!

You handled it with a lot more grace and dignity than I would have done!

Well done OP. Have a wonderful weekend

"I refuse to believe that many of you would humiliate a friend over something so minor and I think it's terrible that you all encouraged Panda to do so" - you are missing a few things though pictish

The friend had several opportunities to address the matter prior to the "humiliation". Panda tried to resolve the issue. The other friends tried to resolve the issue. F1 rejected all attempts at a way forward.

Whilst you may want to live your life as a doormat, accepting whatever shite your friends dump on you and not even caring to apologies, I thing the world is a better place for having people like Panda in it willing to stand up for themselves in front of willful ignorance and arrogance. You should try it sometime.

I can see how she'd get excited originally and think 'ooh, she's always doing mates rates stuff for me, I'll just donate my next one to the raffle, she won't mind'. It's her behaviour afterwards which is unforgivable.

One of my friends made a bit of a mistake, asking us to pay to attend a baby shower (the mum didn't know - she was horrified at the idea of people paying to give her gifts). As soon as she realised, she did a complete and gracious 180 turn on the matter, and was absolutely mortified.

Across DH has his own business and he has had some CFs trying to get freebies in his time, but he has been quite strong and not given in to the pressure. He did give a PTA prize once when he was starting out, but he never did it again!! I think you have to have a very well established business to give time for free when you are turning away paying customers as you’re too busy!!

What a pathetic excuse of a human being she is! Posting on fb is so petty and childish. She really needs to get a life

it will reflect far better on Kung if she continues to show generosity of spirit towards her former friend than if she starts dragging PTA Lady into a spat

Agreed - people don't have the time or energy for stuff like this. (Except for us MNers, obviously. It is our life's blood.)

Kung Fu - a quick question, if I may. Why did you offer an 'updo' rather than a haircut or blowdry? Presumably the number of people who can avail themselves of an 'updo' are going to be quite limited - ie so the winner may not be able to use it.