Hairzilla.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

The next thread...

Fingers crossed for a nice update for you all.

Just caught up, just awful for you OP. Im so sorry you've had this experience with someone you felt was a friend and you have helped in the past I know how it feels to realise how you treat someone is not the way they would treat you or care about you.

I think you have handled it well.and agree that a public fallout is not going to help anything but make you feel worse. If you decide to keep F1 in your life then it can be on your terms now as you have her measure, as do your friends.

All the best, hope you're feeling better today.

Oh bugger I missed that apologies for missing the apology. I saw SGBT’s and missed that one as I was in full flow.

My main point yesterday was that I sometimes worry, on “live” threads like these, that the op, carried along by the braying crowd, does something that they may regret in order to feed the thread. And anyone who puts their head above the parapet and puts an alternative view is shot down in flames. Which means that the few do that and do the thread gains even more momentum.

6 hours and £45 isn’t much compared to a lifelong friendship

Well more fool you then if you would be friends with someone who did to the OP what this so called friend did. Lifes too short to have these people as "friends".

*I fail to see the point of these posts saying

The cards on both sides have been played.*

Maybe because there's still people telling OP to carry it on / tell the school about last night / get F1 "sacked" from the PTA / withdraw the prize all together etc.

BitOutOfPractice - very well put. I do wonder hope many posters would behave in the way they advise? I suspect it wouldn’t be many, but they will insist that they would. Posters want a real life soap that they can feel a part of - I’m not sure I really understand why?

F1 is a vile, lying bitch.

You haven't lost much there.

Your true friends know better.

xx

What a shame it's decended into splitting a lifelong friendship. I would try and salvage it as the indiscretion is pretty minor when looking at the bigger picture. Your friend has acted poorly, but she felt under pressure to impress and when it got out of control she didn't know how to deal with the situation. She then convinced herself you were being unreasonable (as stubborn people do) and it's escalated into what you have now.

I'm a let and live person and life is too short to fall over this. If you want to make up with her, reach out with an olive branch, say you'll do the colour and cut (I'll even pay the £15) and ask that you move on, but in future you'd massively appreciate being asked first. Long term friendships are hard to find and sometimes you just need to swallow it up. It may not be the morally right thing to do and she's shown her true colours etc, but if she's not acted like that before give her a bye.

Why people keep saying about "losing a friendship", friends don't pull this kind of shit. If I was pushed in a corner to offer my friend services and had no way to escape, as soon as I got out of the meeting, I'd have to told my friend and ask for forgiveness and pay for it.
She was no friend to start. Don't be an enabler to this narcissistic CF ever.

I understand some saying they would have done different, however

Given that it was F2 & F3 who gave OP the heads up. F2 & F3 who tried to salvage this with F1 at their expense which was flatly refused. F2 & F3 who passed on the PTA details and then advised the PTA that OP was trying to contact them. That F2 & F3 knew F1 would kick off and have been there for OP and defended her.

Given all this and that they are part of the same friendship group I think they have more of a handle of what F1 is like and how this was going to go down.

I would be glad that someone like f1 wasnt in my life anymore. Someone who can behave like that is not a friend.

Newpapaguinea - you're making some assumptions here, didn't the OP say they'd been friends for a few years not a lifetime and we have no idea that F1 was under any pressure at all to donate a prize. For all we know she's just a selfish woman who couldn't be bothered to sort out a raffle prize and thought of a friend she was pretty sure would be mug enough to do it off the top of her head.

How are you feeling today KungFu? xx

NewPapaGuinea - I fail to see why the OP should be the one to put this right. F1 showed her true colours last night. Speaking to the OP like that was totally unacceptable. Not through any of this has she ever said "Kung I am really sorry, I should never have offered your services without checking with you first. I was out of order, how can I make this right? Would you be prepared to do the raffle prize if I paid half towards it and we made it redeemable after Christmas? Also, I promise I will never do anything like this again"

F1 seems totally incapable of seeing that she has done anything wrong. Then she puts posts up on facebook. F1 is coming across as a bully.

By what OP said upthread F1 has form for taking advantage and OP has gone along with it but this was a step too far for OP.

At the beginning of thread 1, I did suggest 2 options. One being to honour what F1 had donated but make it clear exactly what the prize was for (i.e not foils etc) and that it was redeemable after Christmas and tell F1 not to ever do this again. Or option 2, was to refuse to do it, but I did say I thought that would be the end of the friendship but OP had to go with how she felt. OP has obviously felt strongly about this for good reason and F1 has behaved appallingly.

My friends don't even think about stealing from me, let alone try to make the stealing happen.

Friends Don't steal from Friends

What Mad said!

Fuck me, F1 really is something else, isn't she? She's well and truly shown her colours now.

I'm really sorry, it must have been awful to have her show up and attack you like that.

I feel Kung has handled this very well, (having sat and read both threads) good going Kung and for having to deal with this kind of shit.

This person is obviously not a friend, friends don't do things like this to each other (at least not my friends)

Don't feel bad about not defending yourself. It's shocking being insulted and shouted at and some people do respond by freezing/staying silent.

I'm with you on not having a fight via FB.

Fuck her. You know who your real friends are and you certainly don't need her.

I too think your responses have been just right OP. Don't feel ashamed of yourself, you are not the one who's behaved badly in this situation.

I did wonder (as mentioned upthread) what would happen if the cheeky mare wins the hairdo prize. It would be the perfect chance for the OP to channel Peggy Mitchell and say 'Get out of my salon'.

I'm absolutely astounded that there are people on here who would have just gone along with it for the sake of a friendship on the basis that it's only £45 and they've known each other for so long.

It wouldn't matter if it were for only £10. It's the principle of of it. You just don't do what F1 did. It's not how people treat their friends. And the way she refused to communicate with the OP only adds to that.

I had no idea there were so many mugs in the world until I came onto MN.

For those saying that they would have handled it differently and that a proper conversation with F1 would have sorted this out, if you read back, OP did repeatedly try and get hold of F1 for just such a conversation but was stone walled. F1 avoided contact with OP whilst contacting F2 & F3 once the cat was out of the bag. How she was supposed to resolve this amicably when F1 refused to engage is beyond me!

Also, I think OP did do the right thing in contacting the PTA so fast - in such a case, surely getting on with it and trying to resolve as quickly as possible is the best way? Especially as F1 was avoiding her calls.

Magoria makes an excellent point also - F2 & F3 knew everything that was going on and were instrumental in trying to sort it. They acted as go-betweens, offered their own money etc. Then they provided the contact details. I dont think OP was swept along by the baying crowd on here - F2 & F3 also have life long friendships at stake here and know far more than all of us on here.

Hope you are feeling a little better today OP.

I think you're all being very dramatic about the initial misdemeanor anyway. Yes it was a (fucking) liberty...but a fairly minor one all told. Certainly nothing worth losing a friend over.

I'm at all the posts claiming that OP is better off without her now that she knows what she's really like etc...none of you have any idea what she's really like or if it is a friendship worth hanging on to. You've never met her...you don't know about the good times and confidences shared, their mutual friendship dynamic, support offered or benefited from...so how could any of you even begin to understand what has been lost over a £45 cut and colour?

I refuse to believe that many of you would humiliate a friend over something so minor and I think it's terrible that you all encouraged Panda to do so. Emailing the PTA and the HT before speaking to her friend, was rash and dare I say it, quite spiteful. Six hours was all you lot were prepared to afford this woman you've never met...when it could have waited for as long as it took for the conversation that would have settled the matter, to happen. None of you have done her any favours here. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Like a previous poster said...I don't think there's much here to celebrate.

I haven't seen anyone say that they would have gone along with it
Some posters have remarked that they would have spoken to f1 rather than ignoring her "are you going to donate or not" txt and emailing the school

Oh x post with pictish