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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hairzilla.

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 16:52

The next thread...

Fingers crossed for a nice update for you all.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Slaylormoon · 20/10/2017 05:21

I can't believe the brass neck on people Confused

FrancisCrawford · 20/10/2017 05:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedaMagnum · 20/10/2017 05:40

I would post the thread as a comment on her PA fb post: for those who want to know the real story etc.

tillytown · 20/10/2017 05:47

While I agree with ineedamagnum, I would go one further (because I'm petty) and send these threads to everyone who commented/reacted to her FB post

Cupoteap · 20/10/2017 05:54

Do not feel embrassed about not fighting back with her, it wasn’t worthy of any other response than the one you gave.

CallMeDollFace · 20/10/2017 05:55

I can see the point Pictish was making.

Obviously F1 has acted very badly, but didn’t Panda say in the op of the original thread that they were a close-knit group of school friends?

I think it would have been worth hanging on for a face-to-face (I know she was avoiding this), or at least a text warning F1 that you were going to the pta directly if she didn’t respond to your messages, and then wait 24 hours.

F1 has been a terrible twat. I just think it’s possible she got so wrapped up in the new school/pta thing she made a gross error of judgment and is now lashing out because of painful embarrassment.

That said, I’m not sympathetic to F1, I’m actually just thinking of Panda. The end of long-term, close friendships is awful, especially like this. No matter how justified she is, Panda will likely feel this for a long long time. It’s a situation where, when the dust settles, you wouldn’t want any regrets over how you handled it, would you?

Anyway. It’s done now. Her fb status was a horrible and childish thing to do and the confrontation at you salon sounds awful Panda. Sorry this has happened to you.

Bonez · 20/10/2017 06:10

She'll realise what she's done soon enough and will come crawling back with her tail between her legs. I wouldn't have anything to do with her unless she apologised and was genuine about it. She apparently doesn't see why this is a big deal to you.

TiddlesUpATree · 20/10/2017 06:17

Could you respond to her post with a link to this thread. I'm sure after reading through this she will start to understand what an arse she has been xx

lidoshuffle · 20/10/2017 06:26

I hope KingFu doesn't let this horrible situation stop her meeting with the group of friends if CF is going to be there. OP's done nothing wrong, was too gobsmacked (understandably) to retaliate when CF laid into her, so has been reasonable and - on the surface - calm throughout. She's come out of this brilliantly, CF has revealed herself as an uber CF, and all the hunning on FB is pathetic.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2017 06:30

Could you respond to her post with a link to this thread

Would the posters suggesting this really want someone like F1 trawling through their entire posting history?.

CallMeDollFace · 20/10/2017 06:33

I’d ask to get the threads deleted tbh, before it ends up in the dm or mirror. Nearly 2000 posts in AIBU in under 24 hrs is hardly under the radar of the journos who trawl, is it?

CallMeDollFace · 20/10/2017 06:34

Under 48 hrs, sorry.

AnotherLegoBrick · 20/10/2017 06:51

I agree with Pictish. Mumsnet loves a drama and the OP has been caught up in this. Yes F1 was being a idiot, but giving a bit of time while she thought it through is what a true friend would have done.

Instead we have a long standing friendship group destroyed and a person humiliated. Everyone has lost - I can’t really see that there is much to celebrate.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2017 06:58

giving a bit of time while she thought it through is what a true friend would have done.

She had the time and the opportunity to think it through and work something out with the OP. She didn't. She refused the suggestion of the other friend's and ignored the OP until the OP said she had sorted it.

F1 did this to herself, it is no one else's fault.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2017 06:59

And yes, I agree that the OP should get the threads deleted.

AnotherLegoBrick · 20/10/2017 07:12

She really didn’t though did she Soup Dragon - this all played out on here very quickly as that is what Mumsnet demands. Friend was backed in to a corner and and panicking. A catch up to discuss over the weekend when everyone had had the chance to think it over is how I would have played it.

I think emailing the PTA chair and Head so quickly was a pretty awful thing to do and was a reaction to the demands of posters (who love a drama and really don’t care about the long term implications for the OP) rather than something the OP would have naturally done.

Babieseverywhere · 20/10/2017 07:15

I would go back to the school and tell them what happened.

How dare she come around shouting at you, for her problems...even if they do fire from the PTA, she deserves it.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2017 07:17

F1 repeatedly refused to respond to the OP whilst still texting F2&3. She refused the helpful suggestion of F2&3 and continued to ignore the OP.

She made no effort whatsoever to sort it out, she made no effort to apologise for her mistake, she simply tried to guilt trip the OP.

The OP has absolutely nothing to feel bad about. You can not talk to someone who won't talk to you.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 20/10/2017 07:19

It was hardly played out quickly.

The cf had time to tell the op what she'd done after the first PTA meeting...then again after the second meeting where she confirmed ops business would help. Or before the flyers went out to all the parents with the ops business on it.

Cf had ample time to admit to op what she'd done if she'd got caught up in the moment. When the hell was she going to tell the op what she'd done?

AnotherLegoBrick · 20/10/2017 07:19

Babieseverywhere - and what would you like the school to do? The PTA isn’t a job, not sure you can be sacked. I’m sure the school has much better things to do than deal with a fall out between friends.

ShiftyMcGifty · 20/10/2017 07:20

There's always one isn't there. Oh it's gone all wrong has it? Well, no wonder let me offer you the perfect solution after the fact and tell you what I would have done.

HashiAsLarry · 20/10/2017 07:21

Good friends don't offer the business services of other friends for free without consultation. Good friends also apologise at their cheek. This was clearly not a good friend from the start, and someone who has form. This wasn't a personal service either, it affected business which has further ramifications. OP has handled this well and professionally, in the circumstances.

kung I hope you're feeling better this morning.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2017 07:25

Ive also just found out F2&F3 each offered £15 each towards the "donation" so all F1 would have needed to do was put £15 towards. She refused apparently she needs to stand her ground because I am being unreasonable

F1 found the time to have this conversation with the other friends but not with the OP. She clearly sets out her stance here.

TheMaddHugger · 20/10/2017 07:27

OP I agree with the last few poster that It would probably be better deleted. Before the Idiot gossip Mags get hold of it [DM / Mirror]

CallMeDollFace · 20/10/2017 07:27

But Panda posted about this at 4pm on Wednesday. By 10pm that nightvsh had emailed the pta (and the head? I forget).

I don’t actually think 6 hours is that long.

I’m not defending f1, but I am concerned that Panda will have some regrets further down the line.

6 hours and £45 isn’t much compared to a lifelong friendship.

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