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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Done the right thing by not lending any more money?

134 replies

SpottedDog321 · 19/10/2017 08:26

Where I work a young lady joined us about 6 months ago. She's 19 and lives at home. This is her first real job.

I don't know her massively well as I work in a different office but I see her when she goes out for a smoke and I have a vape and we have a chat.

She seems nice enough and has asked to borrow money on 3 occasions this month. She owes me £120 so far.

I don't usually lend money and the 3rd time I lent her some I said to myself no more as if she doesn't repay me I'm going to have to ask for it and I absolutely hate that.

A lady from our other branch does book club sales. I think it's the book people, a few books toys gifts etc and this young girl collects the money. The women in the office lap it up for there grandchildren.

I'm not in work today but she's messaged me and ask if she can urgently borrow £80. I said no sorry I can't help.

Get another message begging as she's borrowed the money from the book club orders that are now being collected tomorrow instead of Monday (we get paid Monday) she was going to put the money back as soon as she got paid to me and book club but is now skint.

I could in theory lend her the money but I really don't want to lend her anymore. Plus I think she's taken the piss that she's taken the money that doesn't actually belong to her.

AIBU to not lend her anymore money?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 19/10/2017 11:07

You absolutely should not lend her another penny. In fact if she doesn't pay you back you should think about reporting her to the Manager. She should not be going round work with a begging bowl to her colleagues. Very bad.

Just seen she has stolen money from the book club. Report this thief without delay. By lending her the money to pay it back you are complicit in this as you know about it and said nothing. Be brave and do the right thing.

crazycatgal · 19/10/2017 11:16

Are you a mug? Why have you already lent her so much money?

Report her for stealing the money, if she's found out and people find out that you knew but didn't report her then you could get into trouble.

Cagliostro · 19/10/2017 11:30

Definitely report it, you are risking a lot if you don't and then people find out that you knew!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/10/2017 11:31

If you don't report her theft then you are colluding with her and work will see you as an accomplice. She's given you no choice but to report

This ^^ Having got yourself so far into this through misguided kindness there seems little point in risking action against yourself as well

That said, I'd stick very much to the facts - admit to what you've loaned and simply show them the email about the book club money. Anything else is up to management, especially as you've no way of knowing what she'll say

KityGlitr · 19/10/2017 11:59

Interesting that people are saying don't report as it's her problem not yours: whether you like it or not she has now made this your problem by confessing to theft from the workplace, so you have no choice but to report it. It's not about being malicious or trying to help her 'wriggle out' of it, it's solely about protecting your own job. I would be fired if I knew a workmate had stolen from the workplace and kept quiet. It will cast serious doubt on your own integrity. You could lose your job over this. You have to report it.

Original poster
SpottedDog321 · 19/10/2017 12:01

Im going to report her. I've been working in our office for 9 years and I'm not prepared to jeopardize my job if this hits the fan. Also it's down to trust isn't it with money etc and I don't want anyone to think I can't be trusted.

I'm going to speak to her manager tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
TerrifyingFeistyCupcake · 19/10/2017 12:27

it's down to trust isn't it with money etc and I don't want anyone to think I can't be trusted.

Yes it is. Your company is trusting you to handle money fairly and honestly for them, and not to steal from them despite the fact that's in your power, so if the trust goes, your job could go with it. Fairly or unfairly, if you have knowledge that this co-worker has taken money not hers without permission, even if it's not work's money, and don't raise it, that would likely be viewed as a lapse in your duty and a violation of that trust.

You don't have to make a big scene and use the word "stealing", but I would quietly tell my manager the facts and show her the message re: the book club money, then leave it in her hands to investigate. I would probably follow it up with an email repeating this to ensure there's a paper trail that you've done your best.

MipMipMip · 19/10/2017 12:35

I think you really need to call HR today to give them as heads up. If you don't get in before the money is found to be missing it looks like you're panicking and trying to cover up.

KitKat1985 · 19/10/2017 12:41

I think you're doing the right thing OP.

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 19/10/2017 12:54

I think you need to report this today.

Lexieblue · 19/10/2017 13:01

Good luck OP, unfortunately doing the right thing may mean you never see your £120 again but I think you might never have seen it again anyway...

Motoko · 19/10/2017 13:42

I also think you need to report it today, as the book money is due to be paid tomorrow and it will come out then if she hasn't found anybody else to borrow from.

dustarr73 · 19/10/2017 14:03

Report today,they need to know.Even if she does manage to get the money.She shouldnt be in a position to steal again.

And maybe its not only the book money she is dipping in to.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/10/2017 16:17

Im going to report her. I've been working in our office for 9 years and I'm not prepared to jeopardize my job if this hits the fan

I think you're being very wise Flowers

Original poster
SpottedDog321 · 19/10/2017 16:29

I've taken advice from this thread and I've just spoken to her manager.

She said she is aware of the situation as someone else has already reported it apparently she has also borrowed money off someone else and said the exact same thing to them.

She said to leave it all to her she will speak to the MD and sort it out and not to worry I've done the right thing.

That's a weight off my mind.

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 19/10/2017 16:41

Thats good.At least the weight is lifted from you.

Mrsmadevans · 19/10/2017 16:46

oh well done op thank goodness

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/10/2017 16:57

she is aware of the situation as someone else has already reported it

No surprise there, but the manager's now had it reconfirmed you're straight, honest and trustworthy - well done

I imagine the chances of her still being there beyond tomorrow are slim, which means you'll never see your own money; it's a crying shame, but at least I doubt you'll ever be taken in again

scootinFun · 19/10/2017 17:03

That must be a relief op, and imagine if you said nothing and she said she’d spoken to you about it!

Cagliostro · 19/10/2017 18:07

Well done OP. So you aren't even the only lender, wow Shock

LoniceraJaponica · 19/10/2017 18:26

Why is she borrowing so much money? Does she have an addiction of some sort?

KitKat1985 · 19/10/2017 18:27

Well done OP.

Roussette · 19/10/2017 18:36

MN never ceases to amaze me. I know exactly what I would be like if some 19 year old from the office tried to touch me up for £120. I would laugh and say... "you live with your Mum and Dad, ask them!".

Why in the name of all that is holy did you lend it to her in the first place?

Motoko · 19/10/2017 18:45

She's not the sharpest tool in the box is she? Admitting to two people that she's dipped into the book club money.

Glad you rang the manager, but sorry you probably won't see that money she owes you. I doubt you would have anyway.

Chewbecca · 19/10/2017 20:29

You've done the right thing & proved yourself to be honest OP.

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