Done the right thing by not lending any more money?

[SpottedDog321]

Where I work a young lady joined us about 6 months ago. She's 19 and lives at home. This is her first real job.

I don't know her massively well as I work in a different office but I see her when she goes out for a smoke and I have a vape and we have a chat.

She seems nice enough and has asked to borrow money on 3 occasions this month. She owes me £120 so far.

I don't usually lend money and the 3rd time I lent her some I said to myself no more as if she doesn't repay me I'm going to have to ask for it and I absolutely hate that.

A lady from our other branch does book club sales. I think it's the book people, a few books toys gifts etc and this young girl collects the money. The women in the office lap it up for there grandchildren.

I'm not in work today but she's messaged me and ask if she can urgently borrow £80. I said no sorry I can't help.

Get another message begging as she's borrowed the money from the book club orders that are now being collected tomorrow instead of Monday (we get paid Monday) she was going to put the money back as soon as she got paid to me and book club but is now skint.

I could in theory lend her the money but I really don't want to lend her anymore. Plus I think she's taken the piss that she's taken the money that doesn't actually belong to her.

AIBU to not lend her anymore money?

Stealing is the intention to deprive the owner of their property permanently. Borrowing is not stealing. Unethical, but there is a legal difference.

This isn't going to end up in court (unless there's quite a bit we don't know...), but it's very likely to end up in lost jobs and disciplinary action.

I think it's a bit of a spurious division anyway. I'm only an observer, but in just about every case of embezzlement from a company I've seen (which were absolutely treated as theft, legally) the perpetrator was convinced in themselves that they were "borrowing" it at first and would totally put it back. Some day.

I think you should lend her the money.

Why Gracie?

Text her you’re skint and don’t have it op. As for reporting her, I’d probably let it pan out she will probably get the money from somewhere.

I’d also probably have lent her thr first time, but not thr subequent times.

I think you should lend her the money.

Don't be so stupid, Graciela. Why should OP lend yet more money to replace money her colleague has stolen?? Are you OP's colleague?

OP - report her. She's a thief. And she works with cash! I doubt you'll see your money back, but for God's sake don't lend her any more. An expensive lesson to learn...

She just says she intends to pay the money back. She has not yet, and may never.

So.... she borrows money from colleagues (who knows how many) and she has placed herself deliberately in a position of trust where she has access to money (collecting the book money).

I don't think she sounds like a naive innocent who can't handle money. I think she sounds like someone who steals money.

Don't lend her any more money.

She's borrowed from you, and has stolen from the book fund. I expect she's also been borrowing money from other people too, either at work or outside.

I'm not sure about reporting, I think she will be found out. I would be very tempted though!

But she isnt stealing from the company though. She’s borrowing from a soft touch who she has a vape with - and that money is loaned willingly, its coercive behaviour, the OP isnt being blackmailed or held to ransom.

The book club money - again that isn’t company money - its up to the book club to peruse that - a simple OMG I forgot my purse this morning, I'll get it to you on Monday would cover her backside. This time.

It is very unlikely you'll see your money again.

You were right to say no OP.

I think you have to report also.

I would tread very cautiously here. I'm far too soft and probably would have lent her money, at least first and second time, but she has now muddied the waters with the book club money. Certainly where I work that would be a serious disciplinary matter, and if I found out someone had done as she has I would have no choice but to report as otherwise you're basically colluding with her to conceal. Do you know whether she got permission from anyone in the book club? This may be her saving grace if she did. If not, or you don't know, I would probably approach it with a reasonable manager and explain you're concerned, having received that message, and ask their advice. Not a nice situation sadly

I think you have to report it. As you work handling cash your own reputation about it needs to be spotless. I would not respond again, but go straight to your manager with what you know, and speak to your manager about how to ensure you get your money back.

Apologies - I was being facetious in my last post. It seems blatantly obvious that lending any more money would be a terrible idea, so having a discussion about whether or not to do so is a bit redundant imo.

However recommending next steps (beyond the obvious one i.e. don't lend her anything ever again) is a good idea, so the thread does have its value.

Maybe I'm really mean, but I wouldn't lend anyone that quantity of money unless we had been very close friends for MANY years.

I think I would just show whoever is the head of the book club the message she sent you and say "she has borrowed £120 from me already and I thought you should see this"

And don't say anything else. That way your back is covered and you don't risk slandering her. It is just about possible she has done this with agreement but its doubtful.

Stick to the facts (she's borrowed this money from you, hasn't repaid it and send you that message about the book club). Then you can't be accused of gossiping, slander or anything else.

think she's taken the piss that she's taken the money that doesn't actually belong to her.

The word you're looking for is STOLEN. Do not lend her another penny.

You have to report it, she stole and told you.

don't lend her anymore.

yes she may be pissed off, yes she may never pay you back the 120, but that is how these sort of people operate.

At some point you'd have to piss her off by saying "no more"

Cut your losses, don't think you'll ever see that £120, but then you never would anyway! And better to write off £120 than £200!

crikey op, I'd definitely be reporting this!

It sounds like you've learned the hard way not to lend money - even if the person seems all right. IME people who cadge always need to be reminded about the debt.

It's uncomfortable but if I were you I'd remind her every time she asks for more, ask her, "What about the £120 you already owe me? Will I see it again?" If nothing else, I wouldn't mind betting she'll go quiet. No matter what her excuses are, don't fall for them and warn your colleagues not to lend her anything either.

Of course you should report her, you dont want dragged into this, who knows what she would claim? But you probably wont get your £120 back.

No definitely don't give her any more money. In fact I'd be shocked if you ever saw again the £120 you have already given her.

Given that she is 19 and living at home, (so presumably has quite low living costs and should have plenty of money), I'd be very concerned as well about where all this money has gone. Especially if she's taken to stealing. Do you think she is on drugs OP?

If you don't report her theft then you are colluding with her and work will see you as an accomplice. She's given you no choice but to report, or you risk losing your job. If I had an employee who knew about a colleague committing a crime (theft) and kept it to themselves I'd have serious concerns about their integrity. You won't see you £120 again but hopefully it will teach you a lesson not to give money to strangers.

Yes you have to report it to your line manager. If she doesn't replace the money in time it will not reflect well on you if it comes out that you knew. Silly girl, let's hope she learns from this.