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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Done the right thing by not lending any more money?

134 replies

SpottedDog321 · 19/10/2017 08:26

Where I work a young lady joined us about 6 months ago. She's 19 and lives at home. This is her first real job.

I don't know her massively well as I work in a different office but I see her when she goes out for a smoke and I have a vape and we have a chat.

She seems nice enough and has asked to borrow money on 3 occasions this month. She owes me £120 so far.

I don't usually lend money and the 3rd time I lent her some I said to myself no more as if she doesn't repay me I'm going to have to ask for it and I absolutely hate that.

A lady from our other branch does book club sales. I think it's the book people, a few books toys gifts etc and this young girl collects the money. The women in the office lap it up for there grandchildren.

I'm not in work today but she's messaged me and ask if she can urgently borrow £80. I said no sorry I can't help.

Get another message begging as she's borrowed the money from the book club orders that are now being collected tomorrow instead of Monday (we get paid Monday) she was going to put the money back as soon as she got paid to me and book club but is now skint.

I could in theory lend her the money but I really don't want to lend her anymore. Plus I think she's taken the piss that she's taken the money that doesn't actually belong to her.

AIBU to not lend her anymore money?

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 19/10/2017 10:07

Op now you have said you handle money in your job I feel you have no choice but to mention it to your manager or HR.
I work in an area where we sometimes review and investigate cashiers overs unders and cashiering errors. It’s rare but I have come across people who dip into their floats and it usually comes out that they have done it for a while and repaid it, borrowing off peter to pay Paul etc, but got to the point where they can’t, where people have covered up or put in for them, where they have history of borrowing money off colleagues or in the worse cases stolen off colleagues.
I don’t think it looks good for her
If this all comes to light officially and it’s known you knew and said nothing it could reflect badly on you. You may lose your £120 but is it worth losing your job to cover up for her?

Yazoop · 19/10/2017 10:07

You might do her a favour if you report her. She has to learn how to handle money and respect others. If she carries on the way she is, she may be tempted to steal / "borrow" from her employer (as she handles cash) and end up with a criminal record...

lookingbeyond40 · 19/10/2017 10:11

Gosh! Well isn’t this girl a treat!!

I’d report her, you may not get your money back BUT hopefully it will stop her taking advantage and stealing off anyone else.

And don’t lend money to people you barely no in future.

Good luck op x

expatinscotland · 19/10/2017 10:14

If you report it, and she's sacked, then you will definitely never see the money again. As it is, you probably won't. Why on Earth did you give money to someone you barely know? Just grow a spine.

Motherofterriers · 19/10/2017 10:15

I'm afraid if the job involves cash handling you do need to report this. If it comes out later that you knew it could impact on you.

Ghostontoast · 19/10/2017 10:15

i agree that this could seriously affect your job if you keep quiet about it.

You'll be very unlikely to get your £120 back in any case.

Expensive life lesson.

ZippyCameBack · 19/10/2017 10:17

You don't really have a choice. Your job could be affected or at risk if it comes out later that you knew about this and said nothing. It simply isn't worth it, you have to tell someone.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 10:17

Don't report her let her worm her way out herself. You sound to involved with this young woman.

PinkHeart5914 · 19/10/2017 10:19

Isn’t she lovely Hmm

Why you lent someone you don’t really know money in the first place is beyond me, I’m sure you thought you were being kind but it was a silly thing to do.

Now she’s had her thieving fingers in the book club money too, No I wouldn’t of lend her anymore money. She’s an adult she decided to steal the book club money so it’s time to own up

I think I’d report her for stealing the book club money as I’d wonder what will be next, stealing peoples purses/phones etc

And for Christ sake don’t lend her another penny!

OnTheRise · 19/10/2017 10:20

If you're handling cash then you really need to report her "borrowing" of the book club money. Because if it comes out that you knew what she'd done, your job could be in jeopardy as well as hers.

whitehorsesdonotlie · 19/10/2017 10:21

Sorry for my rude reply to you, Graciela. I failed to spot your sarcasm.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 10:21

It won't affect your job as its not your responsibility its hers. She works in the book club not you. She had to keep the money safe not you. Keep your nose out of it. She's young leave her to learn from this and don't lend her no more money.

GracielaSabrocita · 19/10/2017 10:32

No problem whitehorsesdonotlie!

SemiNormal · 19/10/2017 10:33

I wouldn't report just yet. I'd wait and see if she replaces the money and got your money back to you on Monday first. If you report now then she may just walk away and never pay you OR the book club money. If you leave it until Monday there is at least the chance you and the book club will get the money back-then on Monday tell the manager what has gone on whether you get the money back or not.

bibliomania · 19/10/2017 10:37

I'm wondering if she's not expecting to stay on at this job and is cashing in as much as she can before she's ushered to the door. If I was a betting woman, I'd say she'll end up leaving over this (voluntarily or involuntarily) and the Book Club won't get its £80 and you won't get your £120.

Motoko · 19/10/2017 10:40

If she's borrowing money off you, as well as taking money out of the book club money, how long before (if not already) she steals money from the company?

She's living at home, so has minimal outgoings. She shouldn't be so skint all the time.

You have to report her.

Chewbecca · 19/10/2017 10:42

It might affect the OP's job - not reporting this sort of thing is a disciplinary matter in my workplace.
If she doesn't get the money from you, where will she get it? She may steal from the workplace if she is as desparate as she sounds. You can prevent that by reporting. IMO you MUST report.

TerrifyingFeistyCupcake · 19/10/2017 10:45

I don't think you'll ever see that £120 again whatever happens. I would mentally put it down as your Being Far Too Trusting tax and focus on covering your back when the shit hits the fan over Miss Stickyfingers.

blueskyinmarch · 19/10/2017 10:52

Don't give her any more money and just leave her to try and worm her way out of the Book Club money scenario. Chances are she isn't going to last long in that job.

Willswife · 19/10/2017 10:54

I wouldn't lend her anymore money.

I would though try and have a chat with her to find out what's going on. She has 'borrowed' £200 that you know of this month, she may well have borrowed more from others. Considering she lives at home, she is either spending way beyond her means or there is another problem.

I once worked in a cash handling environment and somebody was stealing money, smallish amounts but fairly often. They got caught and got fired. The backstory to it was incredibly sad. Not my story to tell, but I wish she had been able to ask me or other colleagues for help rather than doing what she did.

Whilst I agree she may just be a total CF, I would probably want to reassure myself this was the case before reporting her.

Redhead17 · 19/10/2017 10:54

I wouldn't have lent her anything. If they don't pay back after the first times it's unlikely they will ever!

Guardsman18 · 19/10/2017 10:55

I would do as pp have said. Wait until Monday - you have half a chance of getting your £120 back then. I would also advise her to contact the Book Club and say something along the lines of - can they come in on Monday as I've forgotten/misplaced/not all the people have paid - she must get more than £200 pay. It's tough on her if she doesn't have much left.

CF or what!

whatsleep · 19/10/2017 10:56

Don’t reply to her text, if your not at work wait and see how the book money situation pans out. If she doesn’t fess up you have her text as proof.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup · 19/10/2017 11:00

She's living at home, so has minimal outgoings. She shouldn't be so skint all the time.

Massive assumptions made that her parents fund and support her. She ould be the only working adult in the house and supporting a whole raft of parents and siblings. And of course is completely irrelevant.

OP - are you a woman or a man? Im just curious.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 19/10/2017 11:03

I’m not sure you need to report it - won’t it be obvious tomorrow when the book man/woman calls?

I would ask myself why this woman is borrowing money from a virtual stranger. Why not her parents? Why not her friends? Why does an employed 19 year old, still living with parents, need to borrow an extra £200 in one month anyway? I may be jumping to conclusions but there’s clearly something going on with her.

I’d assume she’d already tapped her nearest & dearest for all she could if she was desperate enough to ask colleagues & pinch from the book club TBH.

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