No no no no no

[WoofWoofMooWoof]

I'll start this off:

The mom outside school today who said to her 3-year old: "Move it! Fuckin' hell, why are you so slow!"

Skinny jeans on men.

People who sleep outside a shop overnight...

What?!

...to buy the latest I-phone/gadget

Oh thank god for that, I suddenly feared this thread was going in a very dark direction

People who say 'loose' instead of 'lose'

Men who wear long black coats, have ponytails and little black ribbons to tie back their ponytail. I have seen this.

Strangers calling me love/sweetheart/darling/duck/Hun etc

People who make filler noises on the phone (ehh uhhh umm badadada etc)

People who take five minutes to say something that should've taken thirty seconds (I'm much more tolerant when it's children doing this)

Parents who are late to collect their children from volunteer run activities (I understand if it's a one off but it's still bloody annoying. Regularly late parents are a nightmare)

The ticket barriers that never ever recognise my perfectly valid train ticket in the evening

People who describe themselves as ‘mad’, I’m so mad me....Urgh

People who assume being Pagan means I
a) worship the devil
b) sacrifice animals
c) dance naked in the moonlight and I am partial to an orgy.

Fuck off and educate yourself. Your comments are offensive and make you look a twat.

Why thank you Gingernaut. I expect to see you modelling them very soon .

People (pretty much all the fashion mags) using the singular when the word is plural - pant, shoe, trouser, etc.
For example "this season we will be sporting a cherry red lip". Just the one? What do I put on the other lip then?

Portable bluetooth speakers carried down the road by teenagers, blasting whatever crap they're into.

Rap, Grime, Bhaṅgṛā, Reggae or Maroon5, I don't care.

STOP INFLICTING YOUR NOISES ON EVERYONE ELSE. YOU CUNTS!!

People who listen to their devices on loud speaker, or let their kids game or watch programs on loud speaker. PUT SOME HEADPHONES ON WHEN YOU ARE IN PUBLIC.

All of the above. Plus men who leave a gap between socks and trouser-hems.

Seems to be normal to talk with your mouth full these days. Makes me want to puncture my ear drums.

People who listen to their devices on loud speaker, or let their kids game or watch programs on loud speaker. PUT SOME HEADPHONES ON WHEN YOU ARE IN PUBLIC.

YES. And if your kid can't "tolerate" headphones then your kid doesn't get to watch Peppa Pig in public.

The nauseating D acronyms on here. DH, DS, DD, ugh.

Cyclists.

Armchair psychologists diagnosing people over the internet.

Noisy eaters. Keep seeing FB vids of noisy eaters. Fuck off!!

Men, actually anyone over the age of about 13 who wear football tops on non match days.

People who say 'loose' instead of 'lose' I never hear this but see it so often on MN that I had to go and check that I hadn't got it wrong.

"Share if you have a beautiful daughter" FB crap.

Men with plucked shaped eyebrows a la Ricky Gervase. Eww.

Men, actually anyone over the age of about 13 who wear football tops on non match days. or even on match days. What do they think? They'll get called out of the stands if the star player is injured?

When I ask for someone to put something in writing (email) and they stay on the phone while they type it - reading out loud as they type. Whyyyyyyyy?!

"I'm fluey. I've got flu."

No. You really haven't. You have a cold .

People who use the expression “at all” when asking if you want something. As in “do you want any duty free at all?”
No, I don’t want any at all. Especially as it costs more than in the supermarket.

No. You really haven't. You have a cold .

It's a myth that you can diagnose cold/flu based on severity of symptoms. You can have flu and have no symptoms at all, and have a cold with severe symptoms.

Oneof

The flu jab gave me flu.
No, it didn't.

People who blow their nose loudly when they're stood right next to me.

People breathing too close to me.

People who get so close in the supermarket queue that you can smell them.

People.

I’m sure someone has mentioned this, but...

...teacher is greeting pupils as they walk into class each morning and is buttonholed in the doorway by pushy mum who wants to have in-depth discussion about whether her PFB Tabitha is really supposed to be on green reading level or orange might be better for her, and at home she reads much more and maybe she should just leap a colour level and what level are the other kids on .... and so on.

Meanwhile big queue forms behind woman because she is actually standing in the door way, and not even a 3ft tall 6 year old can squeeze past. No one gives a massive shit about Tabithas reading colour level, you massive bellend so make an appointment to speak later and off you pop to yogalates or whatever that outfit you’re wearing is for.

Just ...... NO!

Oi.
DailyMail
Just let me have a wee rant. Knowledge and reason bedamned.

People who don't watch where they're going because they're too busy texting on their phones. Just put your phone away and concentrate on where you're going.

The sound of flip flops. It goes right through me.

People who wear sandals with cracked heels and horrible yellow toenails.