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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive

430 replies

QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 13:57

They're a string of Halloween paper chains hanging on the outside of my bedroom door. She said they're offensive and she doesn't like them.

I really love Halloween and they make me smile when I come in. I have more hanging in my room too.

Who is being unreasonable?

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive
OP posts:
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6
Jaxhog · 18/10/2017 16:13

Pop the note back, and add 'why are they offensive?' on the bottom.

Just because she doesn't like them is no reason the take them down. Live and let live, I say.

BorisTrumpsHair · 18/10/2017 16:13

we will get our Halloween decs out tonight too OP - the DC are itching for them.

midnightflowers · 18/10/2017 16:14
Confused I’d decorate the whole flat like it. But then again I’m petty like that
WellThisIsShit · 18/10/2017 16:17

I’d ignore the note too.

But from your posts it seems you are doing a lot of compromising/ rising above irritations in silence? Which is part of being a good housemate however, when one person is suffering in silence and the other is being pernickety about every tiny thing, it can go bad very quickly!

I’d suggest less silent suffering and maybe mentioning things so the other housemate doesn’t go under the false idea that she is the perfect housemate to live with and has to bear your annoying habits and ‘offenses’!

Tricky I know...

Happy Halloween :)

Steeley113 · 18/10/2017 16:20

I'd also discuss it with the other flat mates and see if they want to decorate the whole flat... but I'm quite petty and hate people who feel the need to make a huge deal over something like Halloween

Whitney168 · 18/10/2017 16:20

maybe flatmate is entitled to not want cheap tacky tat in her own home 2 weeks before necessary

Indeed, and in the future when she actually has her own home, she can make all the decisions. While she shares with others with equal rights, she can climb down off her high horse.

EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck · 18/10/2017 16:21

Questionable that's her problem. In her eyes, pagan=Satanist. I get that a lot too.

mistermagpie · 18/10/2017 16:22

God this is bringing back memories of my time living in uni halls, and the unbridled pettiness that such living arrangements can bring out in certain people!!

When I was at uni we lived next to to three guys who had a Halloween party every year. One of them was a Christian and didn’t celebrate Halloween, so could have rightly objected to a party in his home, but he’s a decent and tolerant guy (as many Christians are, funnily enough) so he used to go out for the evening.

Your flat mate is probably having her first experience of shared living and is being a bit silly, she’ll probably look back on the petty note sending and cringe in future. For now I would leave your decs up and try to catch her in person for a chat. Retaliatory note sending will set you up for a year of this kind of thing and taking them down will give her a sense that her ‘queen bee’ behaviour is ok.

Honestly, they are not my taste, but ‘offensive’?!! Grow up OPs flat mate.

BewareOfDragons · 18/10/2017 16:24

Tell her not to look at them, then.

FeelingAggrieved · 18/10/2017 16:25

Of all things to get offended about...

WorldWideWanderer · 18/10/2017 16:25

They're not hurting anyone by being on the door and they're temporary. If they offend your neighbour so much, tell her not to look at them when she comes in and out. It might be a public space but it's your door and these are not offensive......

Brazenhussy0 · 18/10/2017 16:29

Bahahaha! Those are quite possibly the least offensive decorations I've ever seen.
She's being ridiculous and she knows she is, hence the passive aggressive note under the door.

I'd be sticking this on my door. And then telling her if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to look.

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive
SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 18/10/2017 16:35

We had a rule in our student houses that any decorations in communal areas had to be agreed by everyone. If anyone objected, they went. To be fair, this rule came about after one person begrudged the poster of types of penis (from Cosmopolitan mag) we had up Grin

BanyanTree · 18/10/2017 16:38

Halloween is brilliant. My children love it. Round where I live most of the houses have decorations and one even makes their front garden into a zombie zone. I get to go round with my DC and pick out as many sweets as I like. There isn't anything offensive about it. It is a bit of fun.

Next thing you know she'll be offended by Christmas and Easter and whatever.

If it was me, I'd cover my whole door in decorations and have Thriller on repeat.

KurriKurri · 18/10/2017 16:38

those miserable sods braying about it's too early... when do you lot put xmas decs up? 25th December and down the same night?

I'm not a miserable sod (I have said I will be entertaining trick or treaters on 31st Oct, they will be greeted by me being scary, a dog in an outfit and sweets to rot their teeth, I may push the boat out and give them balloons. I am Mrs Funny McFunFace)
And I haven't brayed (I only bray at Christmas when I am in my Donkey in the Stable costume, on December 24th)

FrancisCrawford · 18/10/2017 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BishBoshBashBop · 18/10/2017 16:45

There isn't anything offensive about it. It is a bit of fun.

For some it is and there are those that don't agree with trick or treating or celebrating. Which is absolutely fine. They should also be allowed their view.

The Ops flatmate is being a bit OTT though.

Carouselfish · 18/10/2017 16:52

Faerie Yes! Well done Stephen Fry. The correct response to 'I'm offended by that' is 'Oh dear' followed by a long, long, silence.

whiskyowl · 18/10/2017 16:55

If you have to live together for months, I'd just take them off the door and put them up in your room. You get to enjoy them, she gets to not be offended. I can't personally see what is offensive about them, but it's surely not worth falling out over a paperchain if you have to see each other over cornflakes occasionally.

ChuffMuffin · 18/10/2017 16:56

As far as I'm aware, nobody's ever died of being offended. Especially not by Halloween themed paper chains. I'm assuming she's Christian, I have a family member who is and they hate everything to do with Halloween which I understand and respect, but still.. they're bloody paper chains!

Bumblesbees · 18/10/2017 16:59

Just be a nice person and capitulate on a non issue to you which is upsetting someone. Regardless of whether she is being a bit daft or not, it costs you nothing to just put them up in your room. Why not just some common courtesy, everything doesn't have to be a drama.

littlemissglittersparkles · 18/10/2017 17:00

Well being offended isn't a life or death situation is it so tell her to FOTFOSM

Whocansay · 18/10/2017 17:02

Ignore. I don't do Halloween, but if you don't make a stand now, I guarantee she'll whine about every single event going forward. I bet she isn't really offended. She just doesn't like it. Either way, she can suck it up.

BellaNoche · 18/10/2017 17:02

"FrancisCrawford Wed 18-Oct-17 16:40:26
Print out a copy of Tam OShanter and stick it under her door

And any time you see her in her nightie, cry out “weel done, Cutty Sark”

Make sure and tell her you are embracing the cultural diversity of the British Isles"

Sheer brilliance! Star

Wilburissomepig · 18/10/2017 17:03

Of all the things to be offended about FFS. If you try hard enough you can be offended by anything.

everything doesn't have to be a drama. No it doesn't. Taking the time to write, and putting a note under someones door seems pretty dramatic (and ridiculous) to me.

I get offended by some things too. So fucking what.