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AIBU?

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Original poster

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive

430 replies

QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 13:57

They're a string of Halloween paper chains hanging on the outside of my bedroom door. She said they're offensive and she doesn't like them.

I really love Halloween and they make me smile when I come in. I have more hanging in my room too.

Who is being unreasonable?

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 22:54

@littlemissglittersparkles @grumpyoldbag

I can't tell you something that I do not know. She hasn't told me her beliefs.

She could be Vulcan for all I know. As for me not caring about her beliefs, that doesn't mean I'm out to upset her or anything. Just that she can follow whatever flavour of religion she wants. It doesn't bother me at all what her religion is as long as she doesn't expect me to join in.

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 22:55

Good god do you know how many 'varieties' of religion there are?
How can you possibly know what her flatmates religion is if op doesnt?

Many catholics dont celebrate halloween but in Ireland its always been popular including with catholics so to say she could be a catholic for instance means didly squat.

Or are we all supposing she is a Muslim and op is scared to say it? We have Muslim neighbours, they have sweets and treats for the guisers and decorate the house to let them know to knock on the door, so just saying she could be Muslim means didly squat too.

Dont turn this thread into a witch hunt, until op finds out her reasons for being 'offended' its all shit stirring.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 23:03

She was singing some sort of song about Jesus in the shower the other day so I doubt she's Muslim.

I only mention religion because of my experiences at school where we were encouraged not to celebrate Halloween. That was a Church School which makes me think it's a religious thing.

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 18/10/2017 23:03

I'd turn the note over, write "bummer" on it, and post it back under her door.

ReanimatedSGB · 18/10/2017 23:20

It's really important not to give in to people like this flatmate. She needs to grow the fuck up and realise the world doesn't revolve around her.

OP's decorations are not remotely 'offensive'. They are not denigrating any race, religion, sex, gender identity, sexual identity or culture. The flatmate is exactly the sort of person who would whine and strop if someone wished her a Merry Christmas as a passing pleasantry (OK, there are a few dicks who make a big deal out of saying it to non-Christians in an aggressive fashion) - most non-Christians who are not self-important raging arseholes will just smile and say something equally friendly back.

BoomBoomsCousin · 18/10/2017 23:25

I think it's a ridiculous thing to claim to be offended over, and I'm unsure exactly how she can be offended by them, but I suspect the best thing to do would be to move them into your room. It's not as though you see them a great deal if they're on the outside of your door and your flats arranged so it's not very visible in communal spaces (which I assume, since you said she wouldn't see them much).

If you're in halls you're living in a shared space situation where none of you got to choose who to live with, the best route to a drama-free year is to keep things out of communal areas that you can't all agree on. You might make that a condition of taking them down though - tell her you understand if she wants a communal area that doesn't reflect the ideas or taste of individuals, but you expect the same right of veto over anything she might want to inflict on others.

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/10/2017 23:30

Sorry, but I'd be giving 0 fucks unless someone could verbalise why it was so offensive to them?

AgathaOHara · 18/10/2017 23:35

To those saying she should just move the decorations into her room...why exactly?

The permanently offended should not be pandered to. If flatmate is “offended” that’s her bloody problem.

Viviennemary · 18/10/2017 23:37

Some Christians totally disapprove of the celebrating of Halloween as they see it as a pagan festival. I can't see the harm myself. But ask your flatmate why she doesn't like them. But I think communal areas should be free of decorations if somebody objects.

MarthaArthur · 18/10/2017 23:40

Halloween is amazing she sounds miserable. I was raised Roman Catholic in a european country (christian country) and we celebrated halloween in catholic school etc. I am lucky i have never met anyone who didnt celebrate halloween to some extent. My dbro was even born on halloween :D

BoomBoomsCousin · 18/10/2017 23:41

Agatha partly because there is something somewhat arrogant about pushing your taste onto other people by adding or taking away from what is already there when you are in a communal setting. It's not as though OP sees the decoration on the outside of her door that much - she'd see them much more if they were inside her room, so the "they make me happy" reasoning seems somewhat specious when they are outside her room.

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 23:41

Its a bit of paper on a door. It makes op smile when she gets home.
It is the most unoffensive thing ever, why on earth would she take them down?
Some people just look for things to be offended by.

Well 'some christians' are not in charge of what other people like or do at halloween.

And many Christians love halloween so its not actually a real 'christian thing' to be offended by it.

MarthaArthur · 18/10/2017 23:42

Op dont move the decorations. Her being offended is offensive in itself. If she says its against her beliefs ask her shy her beliefs are more important than yours.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 23:42

I have plenty up in my room too!

OP posts:
Fekko · 18/10/2017 23:44

Some people enjoy being offended as it makes them feel in some was superior in their martyrdom. I'm all for give and take but what does she compromise on? Not very much I'd guess.

She should explain why this cannot be tolerated and be prepared to give full reasons. Only a child says 'because I say so'.

DorisDangleberry · 18/10/2017 23:48

I'd turn the note over, write "bummer" on it, and post it back under her door is the perfect answer

AgathaOHara · 18/10/2017 23:49

Boom We are talking about paper chains with cartoon like characters on, not Nazi regalia. Only on MN could putting this up on a door be considered “arrogant”. In the real world, OP has not done anything wrong. Yeah, maybe the flatmate doesn’t like it...but quite possibly OP doesn’t like hearing songs about a dead, tortured Palestinian.

Learning to get along with people in a communal setting should be about tolerance not tiptoeing around fucking snowflakes.

gillybeanz · 18/10/2017 23:50

My friend is a protestant and doesn't celebrate or like Halloween at all.
She doesn't spout on about it though and will happily talk about her views whilst accepting others.
She/ her religion says that she should not worship any other God and she sees Halloween as worshipping the devil.
She understands that others don't see it like that, she doesn't piss on our chips when our kids have been out celebrating.
She doesn't get involved in community events during this time and her church have a party to celebrate something else, or just have a few friends round.

Ethylred · 18/10/2017 23:56

That door has got to go.

Willow2017 · 19/10/2017 00:02

gilly
Please tell your friend to actually do some research on what the origins of halloween are. It has absolutely nothing whatsoveryever with 'Satan' (who by the way is an Abrahamic religious construct) so why the pagans would be worshipping him when he didnt figure in their 'religion' anyway is a mystery that no christian seems to be able to answer me so far.

It always amazes me that 'christians' complain about the pagan origins of halloween but they were quite happy to appropriate it when they used it as a tool to convert those heathen pagans.

loopsdefruit · 19/10/2017 00:32

Haha gosh, if it were me I'd add a few more non-offensive/fun/tacky decs to my door, and see if any of the other flatmates wanted to decorate their doors too, and the doors to their kitchen cupboards.

May I suggest leaving a note for her with just a sad face, and a nice Fox's jam and cream.

RosieBucket · 19/10/2017 00:36

But I think communal areas should be free of decorations if somebody objects

Well, that's the obvious, rational, reasonable, mature remedy.

But obviously not everyone is rational, reasonable and mature.

RosieBucket · 19/10/2017 00:44

Haha gosh, if it were me I'd add a few more non-offensive/fun/tacky decs to my door, and see if any of the other flatmates wanted to decorate their doors too, and the doors to their kitchen cupboards

If the flatmate has strongly held religious beliefs, and these things make her genuinely uncomfortable - that would be very unkind.

Lweji · 19/10/2017 00:59

If the flatmate has strongly held religious beliefs, and these things make her genuinely uncomfortable - that would be very unkind.

She should join a Convent then, of become a hermit, because, otherwise, she'll have plenty to be offended about in daily life.

RosieBucket · 19/10/2017 01:01

she'll have plenty to be offended about in daily life

Perhaps. But not in her home.