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Original poster

To think there is a group on MN deliberately trying to downplay the institutional oppression of women?

999 replies

PerryPerryThePlatypus · 18/10/2017 08:13

I've been hanging around these here parts since Pom Bears were just a bizarre crisp but more and more I see posters chipping away at other posters experiences, feelings of unease etc. It's difficult to articulate but it's just a shift from NAMALT to women are just as bad so stop complaining. An almost subtle silencing.

OP posts:
KrytensNanobots · 18/10/2017 18:03

I personally met my husband when I was on a train carriage by myself at midnight and he told me I had nice tits and all his mates laughed.

OK, who, anywhere, has said that they'd be happy for someone to say "nice tits" and laughed whilst sitting on a train carriage?!
NOBODY has. Not even me.
That's called harrassment. Not talking. Why can't you see the difference?

bastardkitty · 18/10/2017 18:04

Yawn...

KrytensNanobots · 18/10/2017 18:05

Yawn...

mature and well thought out response there.
Maybe an early night if it's too tiring for you?

Pumperthepumper · 18/10/2017 18:10

It was tongue in cheek Krytons. But you knew that.

Pumperthepumper · 18/10/2017 18:10

Krytens sorry.

taratill · 18/10/2017 18:10

I don't particularly get the talking at the railway station either argument either. It's not harassment at all, some people are chatty others are not. If you are clear that you don't want to engage and the person persists then it could amount to harassment whether the person is male or female and if the person comments in a sexual way (big tits) then that's sexual harassment.

I think it's a sad world if a man can't talk to a woman for fear of offending a 'feminist' . I really do. I love talking to people I meet male or female, and pick up on social cues if they do not want to do so.

Pumperthepumper · 18/10/2017 18:13

taratill because how do I know if a strange man approaching me is going to be friendly or aggressive? My life experiences has taught me to be wary. So I would rather he didn't approach me at all, because I'd be nervous regardless of his intentions. And I don't see why him fancying a chat trumps that.

KrytensNanobots · 18/10/2017 18:14

I think it's a sad world if a man can't talk to a woman for fear of offending a 'feminist' . I really do. I love talking to people I meet male or female, and pick up on social cues if they do not want to do so.

Same. I think that it's a sad world if men can't talk to women in case they upset or offend them. You pick up on cues, you desist talking and move away if they're ignoring or giving off "get lost" vibes.
I also think it's really sad if some people really do think that there is no such thing as man and woman talking in a non sexual way - that much is clear some do as mind jumps to man saying "nice tits!" and laughing instead of just passing the time of day and chatting.
That's never acceptable, that's always harrassment. Men can and do talk nicely as well.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 18/10/2017 18:19

I think that it's a sad world if men can't talk to women in case they upset or offend them. You pick up on cues, you desist talking and move away if they're ignoring or giving off "get lost" vibes.

Why can't the men pick up on obvious cues before trying to talk to someone?

taratill · 18/10/2017 18:19

pumperthumper I just feel so sorry you feel like that.

I have experienced some sexual harassment but I'm not frightened of it happening again to the degree that I can't talk to men or assume I would be attacked.

I don't want to come across as patronising but have you talked this through with anyone ?

taratill · 18/10/2017 18:21

Baron what I'm not clear about is why some women feel that they can't talk to any man for fear of being attacked? Yes if you are giving off those clues you would hope they would pick up on it though.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/10/2017 18:23

@humanGnomeProject feminists recognise the differences between men and women, I don't think anyone is trying to say men and women are identical. It's interesting you describe areas of life where either men or women "win". Do you think that it's inevitable that there will be conflict between the sexes?

Why do you think that feminists want everything "split down the middle"? Why do you think feminists don't judge everyone on their worth?

BaronessEllaSaturday · 18/10/2017 18:24

Does it really matter why? No one needs to justify not wanting to engage with a stranger. Please though accept my right not to be disturbed

humanGnomeProject · 18/10/2017 18:27

@AssassinatedBeauty

I think that the way current feminism is moving, conflict is inevitable. Look at this thread title as well as other recent ones on MN. I think they're a fair reflection.

I think that current feminists want everything split down the middle because I think views like the following are prevalent.

humanGnomeProject · 18/10/2017 18:27

@AssassinatedBeauty

I think that the way current feminism is moving, conflict is inevitable. Look at this thread title as well as other recent ones on MN. I think they're a fair reflection.

I think that current feminists want everything split down the middle because I think views like the following are prevalent.

Pumperthepumper · 18/10/2017 18:27

I don't want to come across as patronising but have you talked this through with anyone ?

To what end? To no longer be scared of strange men approaching me? Are you serious?

humanGnomeProject · 18/10/2017 18:31

No idea^^

The quote I wanted to post is:

"If women had true equality there would be an equal number of men and women in parliament, in both the lower and upper house. There would be equal numbers of higher level bosses in the civil service, police, large companies would have equal numbers on boards etc."

I don't think current feminism judges everyone on their worth because they think that men are 'creeps with a veneer of normal' or part of the patriarchy or need to denounce other men because they both have the same XX chromosomes or are "part of the institutional oppression of women" or are toxic or the oppressive class etc.

Current feminism is divisive and looking for conflict and this is the reason it's being abandoned by those who can think for themselves.

BeyondNoone · 18/10/2017 18:32

XY

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/10/2017 18:33

No, I don't mean because of feminism. I meant because of these inalienable differences between women and men that you mentioned. You talked about education being an area where women are "winning". I found it interesting that you frame it as a competition where there is a winner and a loser. I wondered what other areas of life men/women will win or lose due to their inalienable differences?

"I think that current feminists want everything split down the middle because I think views like the following are prevalent." I don't know what you mean by "views like the following"?

BeyondNoone · 18/10/2017 18:33

Oh sorry, that probably looks like I'm "looking for conflict" rather than correcting someone helpfully.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 18/10/2017 18:38

HGP can you explain why there shouldn't be equal numbers between men and women in the houses of parliament for example

Pumperthepumper · 18/10/2017 18:39

humanGnome are you the poster who started the thread called something like 'why is MRA considered an insult?' I enjoyed that thread, there was a lot of interesting points on it.

humanGnomeProject · 18/10/2017 18:42

This reply has been deleted

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humanGnomeProject · 18/10/2017 18:42

@Beyond It makes you look like a pedantic arse.

@Assassinated Men tend to 'win' if they stay in employment full time when women choose to have children. They win in board rooms and other high-stress environments; often due to the benefits of testosterone and different brains. The 'win' in certain fields as they tend to be able to visualise certain issues and therefore can respond to them better. They're more likely to be monomaniacal or have HFA and can excel in a narrow area of academia. They're stronger so win at most sports. Due to testosterone (amongst other hormones) they tend to make better soldiers and other similar jobs.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/10/2017 18:42

@humanGnomeProject so you don't think it's possible for there to be a more equal balance of women and men in society? Or you don't think it's desirable/necessary?

Feminists do not think that men are creeps, they don't denounce men for no reason based on solidarity with other women. I don't think feminists think of patriarchy in the way that you have interpreted it.

The little dig about women not being able to think for themselves is unnecessary.