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Original poster

To struggle with #metoo

362 replies

BookyBook · 17/10/2017 09:29

Is anyone else struggling with this?

I can't even articulate why and why I am so reluctant to post #metoo myself, although don't want to not either. My FB thread is full of it and I didn't realise it was a thing to do until yesterday and it has completely blindsided me.

Having said that I think it makes a very strong point, I just feel a little teary about seeing all the #metoos today in a way that is making me relive my own experiences that I have trained myself not to think about too much usually.

Is anyone else the same?

OP posts:
sashh · 17/10/2017 10:57

kittykarate

Maybe they already are, why don't you tell him so?

OP

No one has to post it, lots of twitter is, "for anyone who can't post", 'for anyone who doesn't want to post'

ravenmum · 17/10/2017 10:57

Think it's very silly.
I'm sure you'll get over it.

HolgerDanske · 17/10/2017 10:58

God what a waste of my time and typing, judging by the further comments (as if more evidence was needed). Utterly idiotic.

ThePeanutGallery · 17/10/2017 10:58

And margots post is exactly what #Metoo is drawing attention to. It's not ok, it's never normal, and women shouldn't have to put up with it.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 17/10/2017 10:59

SO many male friends/colleagues have been talking about it, in utter shock, which can only be a good thing.

^This.

The point of it is to raise awareness and encourage conversation. It's doing this.

You don't have to do it, but don't have a go at people who are doing it.

JaneEyre70 · 17/10/2017 11:01

I've seen friends posting it and it's made me feel quite queasy. One of my friends was raped as a teenager, and it has damaged her so deeply that I am now really pissed off seeing people post #metoo and talking about having their bum pinched in a nightclub. Neither are acceptable but are on two totally different levels and I'm quite cross that yet again people are jumping on a bandwagon. That "brave" no make up selfie kept me off FB for weeks I was so mad at the pathetic nature of it Hmm

AccrualIntentions · 17/10/2017 11:02

The wording of it implies that if you stay quiet then you are not allowing people to see the full scale of the problem and you are not helping.

I think this may be my issue with it and why I haven't wanted to post me too.

It feels like peer pressure to do so, and when it's about something that can be so personal that just doesn't sit right with me.

HolgerDanske · 17/10/2017 11:02

The point is, men are not entitled EVER to take what they want from a woman without her express encouragement and consent. Period. And every single 'minor' case is part and parcel of that culture of entitlement and needs to be challenged and called out for what it is.

AccrualIntentions · 17/10/2017 11:04

Also, I don't consider myself a victim of sexual assault. I'm someone who has experienced the kind of bum groping, leery remark receiving low level stuff which is obviously completely unacceptable - but I don't feel it's right for me to be equating that to the life changing sexual assaults and rapes that some women I know have experienced.

ConkerGame · 17/10/2017 11:04

What's made me sad is that apart from one guy, only women friends have reacted to my status. Which makes me think it's more of a solidarity thing among women (which I feel I already have) rather than actually opening men's eyes to it :-(

ThePeanutGallery · 17/10/2017 11:04

Why is there the assumption that the women posting it have only had their bum pinched? Hmm

MadMags · 17/10/2017 11:04

Ffs.

Some of you have tiny minds. You're not worth discussing it with.

MadMags · 17/10/2017 11:05

The point is, men are not entitled EVER to take what they want from a woman without her express encouragement and consent. Period. And every single 'minor' case is part and parcel of that culture of entitlement and needs to be challenged and called out for what it is.

This x 1,000,000

whiskyowl · 17/10/2017 11:05

JaneEyre - I've been raped. I would never use that experience to say that a woman who had "only" been groped didn't have a right to participate in this movement. In fact, I think the exact opposite: rape will only really be taken seriously as a crime when more 'minor' sexual harassment is taken seriously also. We are all in this together. That is what solidarity means.

It's NOT about equating the two things. Absolutely no parity is drawn between rape and a bum pinch by #metoo. It's about saying that we live in a culture of male sexual entitlement that stretches from lewd and inappropriate sexual comments right up to rape, and that it's all part of the same problem. Which it is.

ravenmum · 17/10/2017 11:05

The wording of what?

PovertyPain · 17/10/2017 11:06

I wish people would stop fucking downplaying the dirty bastards touching, groping and making revolting remarks, to girls/women. It's still sexual assault/abuse. Show fucking dare you tell other females that they should grow a thicker skin! That kind of crap is what gives men the idea that they have the right to treat females like sex objects. How about telling men they have NO FUCKING RIGHT to treat women like this. Fuck sake. Talk about blaming the victims.

Also, how the fuck do you know wether or not that female hasn't suffered rape or childhood abuse? So why don't you stop making excuses for creeps and perverts and support women's' rights to a life free from this crap?

HolgerDanske · 17/10/2017 11:07

Once again, with emphasis, THEY ARE PART AND PARCEL OF THE SAME CULTURE OF ENTITLEMENT! You cannot stop one without stopping the other. That is the whole point of this campaign.

I honestly cannot see how people cannot connect the dots on this. This is so important. I can't comprehend the disconnect.

PovertyPain · 17/10/2017 11:09

Whiskey You couldn't be more correct. 💐

ThePeanutGallery · 17/10/2017 11:10

I can't comprehend the disconnect.

Because we have been taught to minimize, minimize, minimize. We've been taught to believe it's a normal part of life.

Can you imagine men saying "Oh shut up Bob, you've only been mugged, Jim over there was shot five times during a break in, you don't have the right to talk about theft and violence."Angry

Goldenhandshake · 17/10/2017 11:10

Agree HolgerDanske

BaffledMummy · 17/10/2017 11:15

I'm with you OP and MorrisZapp summed it up how I feel very nicely back near the start of this thread.

I have been surprised at some of my friends who have posted who are quite private, non-attention seeking types. It is a brave thing to do and I know they mean it and I applaud them for it.

thereal · 17/10/2017 11:18

People who want to keep it quiet are part of the problem?

Nice. Hmm

I don't want to post. I've been assaulted and raped repeated times. I don't feel like doing a public high five fist bump yeah we're in it together sister. Because some of the times it's happened we've not 'all been in it together'.

In fact, more than a few of the women that are posting 'me too' on my feed now have either minimised or refused to believe me when I've made allegations.

And more than a few of these women have started putting up metoo as a meme with a picture of themselves and it's all turning in to a big 'you look amazing babe,' 'you too hun'.

Sisterhood my fucking ass.

I agree that in essence it's a great awareness raising campaign but it's not sitting right for me now.

drspouse · 17/10/2017 11:18

I'm struggling with it too as

  • I have to read about it, whether I'm emotionally ready or not
  • It implies that I haven't experienced it because I'm not posting about it
  • Though it is obviously very very wrong that every single woman IN THE WORLD has experienced sexual harassment, it is much easier for society at large to dismiss this and say "oh they are all talking about builders catcalling, that doesn't happen any more".
  • And this is not on the same scale as some women's assault/rape (and my own assault/s which were in between compared to both of these).

I don't particularly want replies either - I don't feel like talking about it as I haven't ever talked about it with anyone.

It's also vvvv bad timing for a very large number of women with the "launch" if it is such, coming hot on the heels of Baby loss awareness.

thereal · 17/10/2017 11:20

Dr spouse YES! I feel like social media is giving me a fucking kicking at the moment. I don't need to be reminded of every painful moment in my life when I want to see pictures of my friend's baby!

ForgivenessIsDivine · 17/10/2017 11:21

I feel uncomfortable posting my sexual harassment metoo when others have stories which are much worse.

Someone posted a metoo for all those who cannot speak about it, whose lives were irreversible changed as a result of sexual assault and for those who spoke out and were not believed.

I actually believe that those are higher in number than those who are able to post a metoo.