For hating school behaviour charts ?

[angrymumma]

My DS is in Y6.
His self esteem is rock bottom because of the new reward chart introduced by school ?
He's bottom of the entire class.
I don't pretend my boy is a perfect pupil. He's not. He's a 10 year old that's trying his best to navigate his faults. He's naturally fidgety. He is a July baby so one of the youngest. He has a very active mind that's engaged by practical interactions but SATS we are already getting tests after tests and a normally very happy boy feels in adequate less than half a term in.
Some kids are running round finding jobs to collect these 'rewards' to move them up the class rankings. I'm not bothered about him being bottom of the class. I know him and his work ethos. I'm the first one to admit he's not perfect but he's certainly not a rebel! I'm hurting for him :( you can collect them for extra homework but he already has SATS books, reading to complete, I have a 10 part project as extra which he's too tired to do so I'm not forcing him and this would get him extra points! As well as footy and friends/chill out to fit in for his mental breaks from education.

He's not naughty, he's polite & caring, hardworking but not fast. His mind is often away with the fairies but that's him. He's always been like this but he's top group for main subjects, surely it should be about getting him engaged and not making him feel so low by non recognition for not being fast or first, I fully appreciate teachers and the stress they are under for behaviour and results. I have lots of teacher friends. It's like he's not a person anymore, instead its competing 20 Y6's who's best. From cleaning up class rooms to test results and everything in between !
I always say just try your best! That's all I ask but he is and he's still bottom!
He never gets star of the week. Awards etc the dinner ladies love him gets loads of dinner awards for being polite/helping etc.

We used to have such a simple personal reward system now everything's so public and open.

Is it just me that doesn't like it?
Definitely having a word with school as he said he just doesn't feel good enough. He's shutting down, even the teacher contacted to say he's not trying this week. After a heart to heart this is the reason!
I've noticed he was getting really angry at home too. Luckily I've got parents evening soon and a fantastic open door policy so can raise the question !

Sorry for long post. Always scared of negativity of opinions so bit worried about posting ! ( I suffer anxiety so don't need to feel like a shit parent on top 😂) I think I over think things but I hate seeing him upset!

Ranking is shit because someone has to be at the bottom. Unfair. I'm not even really a fan of traffic light behaviour systems but at least with those it's a possibility for everyone to be on green at the same time.

FWIW though, he sounds very much like me as a child - fidgety, slightly away with the fairies, handwriting issues, slow work pace, but bright so mostly able to "get away" with it. I have ADD (without hyperactivity) - could be something to bear in mind as it wasn't picked up for me at school, and I did well academically, bit of nagging from teachers for being distracted/daydreamy/slow but that's all, until upper secondary when I started to find things very difficult to keep up with and self organise.

My DC were always overlooked in primary. They couldn't understand why others were rewarded.

It's still going on at comp. I thought it would stop by now.

Whilst I can't see the benefit in a class ranking system and think it's awful that it's public, your DS is 11. He's at an age now where it's not just the responsibility of the teacher to motivate and engage but some of the responsibility lies with him. We have a generation of young people who expect to be entertained and only work at the c takes that they feel they want to do. Sometimes in life you have to get on and do things that don't interest you. Sometimes you have to not fidget (at 11, unless there's something else going on, it should be controllable for short periods). I would talk to the teacher about the pressure and the reward system but to me it sounds like your ds might need to apply himself a little more. We'd all like to daydream and disengage at times.... But we just can't.

I’ve gotten the general concept in opinions certainly a slight teacher/parent divide.

Just remember, OP, that the majority of teachers are also parents.

• work at the tasks

I’m not shying away from his responsibility it’s the low self esteem aspect of it being public knowledge.

I appreciate teachers are parents but I think solely as a parent, teachers are more objective, I’m obviously more emotional over just 1 child like they are of there own but regarding mine they have 30 ish ( 20 in mine ) to consider

Thanks everyone
I do see things a lot clearer even though I got bashed a bit :)

If the bottom person had changed each week it wouldn’t be so bad, the kids would know anyone can be on the bottom.

But having the same child there week on week singles them out and like this thread has shown, a lot of negative assumptions are made about that child. They get labelled and it’s really hard to shake that reputation off.
I really feel for ops son, and believe her, as badly behaved kids rarely get stuck on the bottom. Usually they get extra praise for managing what’s expected behaviour wise.

OP I think your boy sounds delightful and I would be happy if my 4yr old boy was like him. Actually I think he probably will be like him. He’s bouncy and lovely and loving. But I can already imagine your struggles coming my way. I am completely against reward charts, sticker charts of any kind (at home and at school!)
We shouldn’t have kids doing things because they are obsessed about getting points or stickers. If they have time to help someone/do an extra job that’s great say thank you- why can’t thank you be enough!
You’re doing a great job!

Is it class dojo you are talking about. If that’s the case then it’s not technically ranked as such however on the main screen each child has a little monster with their name on it and the number of points below. Points can be awarded for what ever the teacher decides. So answering a question or remembering to bring something in or just being kind to others. All children can see the amount of points each other has but that’s not the main focus

Why you shouldn't reward kids

Any chance of an update post school visit OP?

Not much to report yet.
Investigation under way to whole process.
Meeting with class teacher lined up.

Thanks a lot for asking . Means a lot
Will update if people want

Not dojo
Friend has this. Like Fb for teachers ! Sort off ..

Totally agree with being labelled.
People explain it so much better the point I’m trying to pop across.

He’s accumulating points just not enough to surpass the next one as they accumulating points too