To be fed up of sexual fetishists on here?

[brasty]

So many threads at the moment that are obviously posters looking for wank fodder. Including disgustingly a fair number to do with children. So fed up of these. And so fed up of so many staying up for several days even though they are reported.

[derxa]

Thanks for starting the thread brasty. I agree totally.

[Papafran]

I agree with pp that the sex sub forum on here seems to have attracted more weirdos than usual. Maybe it's time to delete It?

Agree. What purpose does it serve other than titilating a bunch of pervs. There are enough sites where you can get genuine sex-tips- seriously. Or post in relationships if something is bothering you. Having the sex forum just encourages men looking for wank material and then they probably stick around and troll other parts depending on what is in active threads.

[KateMumsnet]

Hi all, thanks for the continued feedback about this. We're aware that there's been an uptick in trolls posting about specific subjects, and that some of the threads can be quite disturbing and upsetting, and we wanted to let you know that the tech team are currently making some changes to the site that we hope will address the issue of recurrent trolling.

We really do understand why some of you think the solution is to allow users to call troll on threads, but in our experience this causes many more problems than it solves. Our overall aim is to make parents' lives easier - and allowing users to accuse other users of trolling will mean that people who are in genuine need of help might not find it here, when really that's what we're all about.

That said, we're aware that there's a feeling that we're slow to act unless it's an open-and-shut case. We're now erring more on the side of caution when we receive reports - so unless we can see a solid posting history, we're more likely to suspend a thread while we take a look behind the scenes, and ultimately to delete it. In combination with the tech changes coming, we hope this will have a positive impact (and that genuine posters will be understanding if this inadvertently happens to their thread).

As far as inconsistencies in posting histories goes, it's really worth remembering that lots of longterm and regular users change personal details in their posts to make it less likely that they'll be ID'd in real life - so this in itself shouldn't be taken as a sign that someone is trolling, in the sense of 'making stuff up in order to be goady or for lolz'.

We also want to clarify that we've never, ever banned anyone simply for reporting a suspected troll - there's always been more to it than that. So please, please - if you see something you think we should look at then do report; we always check out every single one and we will reply to you once we've got to it.

Thanks all

MNHQ

[paxillin]

Perhaps there should be a general warning put up on such threads, @KateMumsnet? Threads that have the slightest whiff of begging get an early "not everyone is who they say, do not send money" warning. It strikes me as even more pertinent to put on "lets discuss PE in pants/ kids masturbating/ your poo accident" threads. Just a little "not saying OP is, but pervs are out there to hear about your poo" to stop unsuspecting posters oversharing.

[CockacidalManiac]

Any begging threads should be closed down on sight.

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

It seems there too many trolling, begging and goady threads recently.

[Elendon]

What has begging and goady threads got to do with sexual fetishists?

It's completely different. Can I respectfully request that we keep on topic?

[Coconutspongexo]

I think at because MNHQ have paid attention to this thread people are getting off their chest what threads everyone seems to be fed up of

[CockacidalManiac]

we’re discussing MNHQ’s response, Elendon.
Sorry, is that not allowed?

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

Of course it's on topic. Not dealing with any questionable threads add to the general atmosphere of getting away with it.

When you weed the garden, do you only pull one type of weed and let the rest flourish?

No, you deal with the lot.

[paxillin]

What has begging and goady threads got to do with sexual fetishists?

It's completely different. Can I respectfully request that we keep on topic?

I used begging threads as an example of MNHQ warnings quickly put on a thread if OP seems genuine, but HQ aren't quite sure. But surely you read that.

And of course you can request a certain kind of response only, but nobody is going to follow, as is the nature of MN. You don't get to decide what is or isn't on topic.

[LineysRun]

And the amount of weird stuff that's tangling up Feminism Chat board is well, annoying and frankly amateurish.

Obviously not this one though, oh no, not at all www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3061982-can-someone-please-make-me-understand-why-does-it-matter-if-men-look-at-women-sexually-isn-t-that-normal

[PricklyBall]

Oh yes indeedy, Lineys. So far tonight we've had "I don't understand why my daughter called my husband skeevy for perving on teenagers in a visible and obvious way, please can someone explain it to me (disingenuous head-tilt)" (in fairness, MNHQ was pretty quick off the mark deleting that one. Now we've got "my friend just said I wasn't a feminist because I shave my pubes, but it just feels so nice and CLEEEAAAN."

Barf.

[paxillin]

Perhaps MNHQ should soften their no-troll hunting stance in aid of the whack-a-perv game. These threads have been so obvious, but posters do still share.

[RavenclawRealist]

I do agree there seems to be an influx of Pevy trolls at the moment! I also agree mumsnet need to take action be it in the form of a warning like on threads where there is the potential for money to pass hands or some other way! However I also think posters need to think twice before they post! We all get sucked in occasionally and no one can no who anyone else is on the internet! But especially with the threads about children ask one simple question would you be happy if your child posted that information online??? If not don’t post!! You can give advice without revealing personal information! There are 2 sides to this MNHQ need to take action but everyone needs to think about what they post too!!

[oldlaundbooth]

A couple of years ago I asked a totally innocent question about cleaning a baby boy. I'm a female and DH has been circumcised so go figure the question.

My post was immediately reported and I had to defend myself. Long time poster etc. Obviously I didn't want to Google my question - don't have any mates with baby boys etc so turned to MN. Too much bloody hassle unfortunately.

Now I don't bother asking questions like that and I don't post on threads that are period /wee/sex related.

I stick to Christmas, weather and word games instead, odd bit of housekeeping and feminism stuff if I'm feeling game

[MistressDeeCee]

I agree. I also worry about the ones (there's been a few recently) encouraging women to describe their experiences of sexual assault or abuse

I was also thinking about this, think the Post was about sexual assault. Some women shared very personal and upsetting stories. Brave of them to do so. But the OP was so COLD, didn't even acknowledge their stories. As if "she" (as Im not sure it was a woman really) was relishing it all. The whole tone of post was "women are asking for it" including implying that if a woman had got tipsy or drunk she deserved it. I went on a couple of times and told OP what I thought in no uncertain terms but gave up after that. Its awful that people share their traumas and its all for someone to get their rocks off

Also another asking whether women feel vulnerable as women, more so than a man would - again, very "cold" OP who was there to take the piss out of women who said yes they do feel vulnerable

Some others that are clearly contrived to be derogatory towards women, and yes fetishes too. Problem is these will continue and its mostly due to those particular women who as soon as a thread pops up criticising or fetishing women, they join in with glee criticising and blaming and shaming women. Then obviously other women take issue with that so back and forth it goes

If its not some sexual fetish its slating women and its changing the tone of this place. Boring and sickening

[quercuscircus]

Well, my eyes have been opened... and I wish blinded... all in one thread :( As someone else said you cant unsee or unthink things.

I understand the concerns but think it would be a shame to crack down too much on all stories of difficulties and embarrassment etc. Not all of us have a huge pool of people in RL to draw on for experience/ advice.

For what it is worth, I have learnt a lot from MN about all sorts of things I don't get to talk about in RL for one reason or another; for example about the tremendously variable menstruation experiences/ accidents etc. I thought it was just me who struggled or worried or wondered about some things and it really isn't! Reading about people's varied experiences and mishaps has really helped me in many ways and I have felt less isolated because of it. (Not well at moment)

Some of these threads you discuss here I have never seen, some I agree seem dodgy and some I can believe are real even if they seem odd or strange in tone because I have seen or heard other people act or talk in that manner which some of you find suspicious.

I remember LittleAuk's thread and could absolutely see how that situation would arise based on my own experiences and how uncomfortable some people can be around children and being concerned about appearances/ accusations, overzealous wording etc. And I have seen kids do this behaviour wanting to be picked up! (Hope your situation is OK BTW LittleAuk)

I also name change a lot and I struggle with typing so sometimes my style is a bit odd and I have not grown up using forums so I really don't have the typical format/ style sorted. Maybe I would be thought of as a troll. I hope not.

Not sure what the answer is to trolling but some openness and anonimity and frankness is often very helpful.

Damn those fucking sick bastards who screw things up for normal people.

[Rachel0Greep]

However I also think posters need to think twice before they post! We all get sucked in occasionally and no one can no who anyone else is on the internet! But especially with the threads about children ask one simple question would you be happy if your child posted that information online??? If not don’t post!!

Completely agree. MN does need to step in a lot earlier, IMO to prevent trolling. But posters also need to think twice before sharing stuff online.

[Papafran]

Another stupid thread running at the minute asking 'what is the wildest thing you have done', apparently to 'entertain' the OP. Lots of stuff about underage sex and snorting coke. Why do people fall for this shit every time?

[Allthelightsgoout]

The thing is, it doesn't really matter if the OP is genuine or not or whether people want to tell their stories or not - it attracts sinister people.

And having worked with sex offenders for many years I guarantee that there are many getting gratification from reading stories of rape and sexual abuse and at the very least, one (more likely more) posts on such threads is an offender talking about abuse they perpetrated putting themselves in the role of the victim and enjoying reliving the experience, the flowers and sympathy given and the similar stories.

I have met offenders who haven't directly mentioned MN but do freely talk about using chat forums to talk about sexual abuse or rape positioning themselves as the victim. Sometimes it's specific abuse/rape support sites sadly.

It's not uncommon.

[WellThisIsShit]

That’s horrific AllThe, I know it must happen, but to hear directly from these people...

[Allthelightsgoout]

Thing is, I know the scale of sexual abuse and rape and know that the overwhelming majority of posters are genuine so I hate that I see a 'tell me about your experiences of abuse' or 'was this abuse/rape?' posts and think it may be dodgy as most of the time it won't be but I can't pretend I don't know what I do.

We live in a world where hardcore pornography and scenes of sexual violence or faked sexual violence can be accessed on any 'phone or computer legally. And images of child abuse are easily available albeit illegally.

So it's easy, it's exciting for a while but then passe and boring. One image or scene is similat to another, they all blend into one after a while so not so exciting anymore. They download thousands of images. So another level is needed.

What is exciting for some offenders is a first person narrative, particularly with explicit detail (often disclosed on MN and similar sites). That could be anyone - that isn't just an actress or an unidentified victim of abuse in a film or picture - that could be their colleague, neighbour, friend, their Doctor sharing their trauma. It brings the fantasy to life. It's always more exciting to think about someone you know rather than someone in a picture you'll never meet.

And if you are that type of offender, there's nothing more exciting than thinking the victims sees you as one of them. They think you've been through the same. These people wouldn't have anything to do with you in RL but on the internet, they trust you, tell you how sad they are that you both went through this. Tell you how it felt to be abused like that.

It is immensely gratifying and arousing for some offenders.

[WellThisIsShit]

God it is utterly revolting, I’ve shared some stuff on a few threads I’d never share in person. Not on the ones you’re mentioning but still. I share very occasionally when I think my story will help another poster. When I think sharing my story and the insight I have born of 20:20 hindsight might edge a poster towards their own realisation, in time.

I’m so careful with sharing about my child. But clearly not so careful with my own self.

I think it’s because I don’t see my lived experience as having any currency, any instrinsic value. I see events in a more, err, democratic way! Each moment is life, just life, just moving through time. And it’s what you do with it that counts...

It’s revolting on such a disgusting level that some sick mind is taking other people’s own lives and memories and deeply personal experiences to get off on.

Sorry, probably a weird way of looking at it!

(Skin crawls though, whatever way you look at it).