To still love my dad after this?

[Beenconned]

My lovely and wonderful sister (biologically half sister, we have the same mum but different dads, although I've never thought of her as 'just' a half sister), has had a pretty hard upbringing. She was brought up from age of 5 with my mum (who is lovely) and my dad who bullied and destroyed her basically. My sister is 12 years older than me, and although I'm in my 30s and she's in her 40s, I've only recently found out / realised about the abuse she suffered.

I feel so guilty but I genuinely wasn't aware of it growing up. My dad was / is amazing to me, but was by all accounts utterly horrific to my wonderful sister.

I love her, but I also love my dad. He has been an incredible support my entire life, above and beyond what a dad would do perhaps. But I must have been the lucky one. What the hell gives. I want to support my sister as she's going through hell trying to come to terms with it all (plus other trauma in her life). But I also love my dad.

I guess I'm bu?

He's a horrible person. Get well rid of him. It sounds like he also destroyed your mum too. Don't allow him around your children he will be manipulating them behind your back.

How old are your children?

OP if you're still reading, right now is the best time to seek counseling. There is a real danger of you stuffing this all right into the box labelled 'Dad' and putting it back on that high shelf in your mind. And working through the issues surrounding your breakup will be helpful, too.

A good counselor will help you work through things at your own pace. They aren't going to force knowledge on you that you are not ready for. And they will give you the tools you need to deal with them when you are ready.

I know you're afraid. But it's normal to be afraid of the dark and that's exactly where you are, in the dark. Working with a good counselor will help you to start shining a small light in all those dark places. And when you do that, the nasties in the dark scuttle off and you will be able to replace them with all good things.

Just think about it.

You say he was so wounderful to you but by abusing your sister he risked ruining any chance of you having a normal sibling relationship with you. Many many siblings who grew up with a step or bio parent treating them differently to the favoured child end up resenting that favoured child and distancing themselves from their sibling, or worse the child replicates that abuse on the younger sibling. In that way your dad also abused you- he could have caused your sister to hate you and cut you out for live, or he could have damaged your sister so much that she replicated that cycle with you as victim. He could have lost you your much loved sister for life. Try to view it that way and see if that gives another perspective. Huge huge credit to your sister for not taking his abuse out on you, many might have through no fault of their own.