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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it's not transphobic

122 replies

TannedHand · 13/10/2017 12:56

...to suggest that a man wearing a tiny miniskirt - which rides up over his hips with every step he takes - with no underwear on a busy high street is behaving inappropriately? And that as he was making no attempt to adjust his skirt, it was evident he was unbothered by the effect he might be having on everyone who passed him (mainly women and children at that time of day, dropping off at the local primary school)?

Apparently I'm transphobic and not respecting his right to wear what he wants. Apparently I should show understanding that he hasn't quite got his feminine look down pat. Apparently I'm misgendering him.

All accusations laid at my door elsewhere on the internet when I mentioned this (witnessed by me and hundreds of others on a local busy street yesterday morning, btw).

His right to wander around with his cock and balls hanging out trumps that of others to not see it. Women who have suffered assault, who might be especially upset. Children. Or, let's face it, anyone who doesn't want to see a stranger's twig and berries first thing on a Thursday morning.

At the risk of starting another Trans-themed bunfight, wtf is wrong with people?!

OP posts:

busyboysmum · 13/10/2017 19:13

I actually find it really offensive as a woman that a man can put fake breasts on himself and walk around displaying them in such a sexualized way.

Trueheart1 · 13/10/2017 19:16

busyboysmoms It is astounding that if a women showed her real breasts in the same way she would be arrested. However a man can do what he wants.

rubybleu · 13/10/2017 21:13

pisacake

WTAF. "So proud #21 @FT & HERoesinB Top 50 Female Champions of Women in Business alongside so many inspirational women".

mobile.twitter.com/PippaBunce/status/913098958808993794

How fucking dare Philip, sorry, "part time Pippa", who describes himself on Twitter as a "proud father and husband", claim to be a female business leader.

malaguena · 13/10/2017 21:34

Ha I read this thread and immediately thought about that guy in Clapham. I live locally and use to completely ignore him and look the other way ( he obviously thrives on attention and seems to like getting in your face). Now that my kids are primary age though, it infuriates me that they should be exposed to this. It's disgusting and I would have the same reaction if a woman was exposing herself in such a way. He is a right misogynist too! I don't understand why the police should pander to this crap.

HouseholdWords · 13/10/2017 21:43

A friend of mine is a local magistrate and he says that he's noticed how the men who come before him for quite serious sexual assaults (short of rape) start out as "flashers" - apparently harmless men who just can't help themselves.

pisacake · 13/10/2017 22:20

That's grim. www.cocktailsandcocktalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/clapham-tranny9.jpg

ReanimatedSGB · 13/10/2017 22:32

Actually, in all of the pics on the Claphamtranny website, the person is technically not' indecent', because pants are being worn. Yes, tight skimpy pants but the twig and berries is not actually on display.
If a female-bodied person wanted to go out and about in nothing but a thong and a pair of nipple pasties, that would also be not quite indecent exposure.
I think there's stuff taken into account like: where are you when you are dressed like this; how are you behaving otherwise, etc. But the laws have to be applied universally, not just to people who are 'weird-looking'.

TemptressofWaikiki · 13/10/2017 22:50

Same here, this dude is really obnoxious and deliberately antagonises in particular women. And his bits have dangled out on several occasions. I try to ignore him but he is hellbent on getting a reaction from people. He really has a bee in his bonnet about women though and deliberately tries to intimidate them. He gets faux outraged by men passing by who shout at him but I refuse to put myself in a situation where I feel as a feminist I should stand up for him. It is an insult to genuine victims of sexual harassment. But it seems he does manage to garner unwarranted support from young right-on people. Their choice but still sad that someone so undeserving manages to twist the situation from sleazy perv to victim while these conscientious do-gooders ignore the constant and very real street harassment by women.

malaguena · 14/10/2017 07:07

Reanimated I couldn't care less whether he is 'weird-looking' or not, I have had periods of being weird-looking myself when I was a teen. I do think a woman wearing only a thong and pasties on a busy high street at a time where children are around would be completely inappropriate too. Yes he sorts of wears thongs or skirts, but his genitals are not fully covered. He clearly gets a kick out a flashing people and stares at people looking for their reaction. That crosses a line as far as I am concerned.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 14/10/2017 07:37

Helpfully posting the government / Gendered Intelligence definition of trans. Which boils down to "anyone who doesn't conform to traditional gender roles".

Hands up anyone on this thread who ISN'T trans by this definition?

Collaborate · 14/10/2017 07:44

Not appropriate behaviour obviously, but you’ve got to admire his balls.

Sorry, not sorry.

Booboostwo · 14/10/2017 08:07

You saw a person purposefully exposing their genitalia in public. This is clearly socially unacceptable and illegal.

Sex and gender have nothing to do with this. Who told you you were being transphobic? If no one accused you of being transphobic then your post is transphobic for making a big deal out of this person's gender. His/her gender, and even his/her sex, have nothing to do with the immorality of what they did. If you saw a woman exposing her genitals in public on purpose would you ask "Am I being sexist to say that this woman should not have exposed herself in public?" - clearly a bonkers question.

Sologirl1982 · 14/10/2017 20:57

Horrid - I don't want to see anyone's meat and two veg in public, regardless of what he wants to (just about) wear over the top.

Yuck. Nothing transphobic about that - that's perv-phobic.

Mind you, "pervert" will probably enter the myriad of genders that are floating about at the moment, and it will be unacceptable to discriminate against someone who, due to the state of their mind, chooses to flap his cock around in the public domain.

Original poster

TannedHand · 14/10/2017 23:02

If no one accused you of being transphobic then your post is transphobic for making a big deal out of this person's gender

@Booboostwo As I said at the very beginning of this thread, I was told I was being transphobic by people elsewhere on the internet because I was not sympathetic with this 'transwoman' and 'her' inability to dress appropriately, and instead pointing out that a man wearing a skirt so short it showed his genitals in public was behaving inappropriately. If it had been a woman doing the same, my reaction would have been identical.

Let's not forget that there's no evidence whatsoever for this man being trans - but people immediately seized on the possibility that he was, rather than a common or garden flasher.

HTH

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 15/10/2017 05:09

Fwiw the CA law only applies to nursing homes. It's still ridiculous, obviously.

Booboostwo · 15/10/2017 06:40

I'm really sorry I missed that bit The people who accused you of being transphobic are deeply, deeply confused.

sparechange · 15/10/2017 11:34

trueheart

I live in Battersea and he used to ride up and down Northcote Road all the time

A few year ago, I saw the police pull over in their car and speak to him about the way he was dressed, so had assumed he doesn’t get away with flashing as much as he used to. I have also seen him refused entry into the Co-Op and that pub near Nandos

DH and I were talking about it maybe a year ago, and we definitely don’t see him around as often (thank god)

HornyTortoise · 15/10/2017 13:12

The people who accused you of being transphobic are deeply, deeply confused.

Well yes, but near everything is transphobic these days to many many people. Even refering to female biology is transphobic (though oddly, not referring to male biology). Lesbians are transphobic for not sleeping with male people. Its transphobic to say 'pregnant women' as apparently men can be pregnant too...and so on

RebeccaWrongDaily · 15/10/2017 13:48

where was this? can you link to the facebook so we can support you o there

Datun · 15/10/2017 14:01

What if this man is an autogynephile, gets a kick out of wearing women's clothes, and shoving that point in people's faces, but doesn't identify as transgender? He's just a pervy man, right? If he identifies as transgender, is it then transphobic to call him a pervy man? Would you have to call him a pervy woman, not to be considered a transphobic?

What if he walked into a woman's changing room, leisurely took off his short skirt, and sat on a bench, glancing at all the women? If he's not trans, he's a perv. If he is trans, he isn't, (because there is no law about a woman taking off her skirt in a locker room and looking around).

The difference between men and women is about the category of biological sex. Not gender.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/10/2017 14:04

I've seen similar in Cardiff. So either this particular odd bod travels or there's more than one.

Datun · 15/10/2017 14:04

Yes, I'm wondering where the evidence is. Although, as a hypothetical situation, it's perfectly possible.

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