To refuse to give this person a lift

[blackcatpurring]

I am a home carer. It's shit.

I'm working with someone who doesn't drive tonight. They have messaged me with this:

Hi, I'm working wifh you tonight. I don't drive so can you pick me up please? I live at 123 London Roa

AIBU to reply "no, make your own way to the first call."

It's not just the cost of petrol though. Running a car cost's more than just petrol - insurance, break down cover, actual buying the car, servicing etc. Then you've got the learning to drive costs to think about. It's a luxury, just because I've chosen to learn to drive, and then purchase a car doesn't mean it's a free ride for everyone else that prioritises other luxuries. Petrol doesn't cover the extra's.

'"Great advert for home carers"

www.google.co.uk/search?q=home+carer+wages

"Home Care Assistant Salary. The average pay for a Home Care Assistant is £7.30 per hour. Pay for this job does not change much between less experienced and more experienced workers."

What do you expect? Shit job, shit pay, shit working conditions and they are not allowed to complain about it?

Fuck right off.'

*'You are not the only profession that work for the minimum wage. Did you know that? Or those living on benefits who are having carers in to help them daily ?
Suggest you look a the recent reports about some carers conduct too.

Main concern is for the vulnerable who are attended by the very very resentful and angry who have time to troll and rant.'*

I don't work for minimum wage. I however don't presume to police the rants (completely unrelated to their vulnerable charges) of those that do.

Just because someone has a rant here about unfair things in their job does not make them uncaring or an arseholes, it doesn't mean that they will treat their 'customers' badly

Main concern is for the vulnerable who are attended by the very very resentful and angry who have time to troll and rant

I'm a bit puzzled by this. People are human. People sometimes want to vent. People sometimes choose to do their venting wisely - i.e. to friends or on a forum where they can let off a bit of steam. Doing so does not mean that they are in any way mistreating their clients and service users.

I'm also baffled by the implication of having "time" and that this is somehow a bad thing. Surely everyone is entitled to personal time outside of work - and isn't it entirely their choice whether they decide to spend that personal time doing house work, spending time with family, painting their toenails, feeding orphans or ranting on MN?

The OP feels aggrieved because she is expected to provide a free subsidy to people who don't drive and who therefore should not be doing the job. I accept that - awful - benefit sanctions may have forced someone in to unsuitable work, but the OP "sucking it up" just enables the agency to treat people this way. As for the argument about minimum wage - it isn't a race to the bottom. The whole point is that taking a stand means that people HAVE to change their policies and behave better. One industry or job sector's problems should not be held up as a "put up and shut up" standard for others.

Don't do it OP.

You probably arent insured to. Check the small print on your insurance.

And I think anyone using their vehicle to go to multiple locations for work has to declare that for insurance purposes. DP is a builder and has to tell his insurance company that he does this. In fact a colleague of his was given points on his licence and a fine apparantly last year for not having the correct insurance. He had a normal personal policy and was told as he transported tools in the back of his car he needed commercial insurance.

We phoned dps insurers who were happy with our policy just declaring multiple placea of work but they did ask how many places he would be at each year. I think we said about 4 or 5 as that's usually how many different contracta we would be on.

But it's definitely worth checking your policy and I bet you aren't coveres to transport colleagues.

And if work get arsey with you ask them to provide you with a company car, a fuel card and pay for your time to collect and drop colleagues off.

you stupid piece of shit?

Well. Indeed. Remind me again about the caring profession.

Either just say no or tell them they can get a lift if they are outside your house by xx time and you'll be driving straight home and they can get a lift back to your house if they want. If it's not easy for them then they will say no and won't ask again. If they say yes then it's not really affecting you.

Ditto the PP who said to check your insurance policy. If you aren't insurance to drive co-workers then don't.

Yanbu

I don't drive. So I wouldn't apply for a job that requires me to drive or live somewhere without public transport.

The agency shouldn't be hiring non drivers if the role requires driving. They can't rely on colleagues always giving lifts, and even if they did the more nondrivers they have the more restrictive rotas get because the nondrivers always have to be paired with a driver.

Yadnbu.

Well. Indeed. Remind me again about the caring profession

Doesn't mean we have to care about everyone, all the time.

Some of the most committed care givers will have a vent and be effing and blinding off duty. In fact, I consider that a healthy coping mechanism to rid yourself of tension and frustration to continue to be able to provide that care on the job. I used to get roped into giving lifts that ate up a lot of my time, not to mention fuel. Not in this profession but again people who did perhaps not consider the logistics to get to the jobs they applied for. It involved going to multiple locations. People became very quickly cheeky and entitled. I wish I had nipped it in the bud like the OP but I only wised up after some arsey behaviour when on one occasion I had to go to different locations and declined ferrying people around, which meant no breaks for me and extra journeys in rush hour. Hourly pay was actually quite good, so no way it would tug on my heart strings and there was public transport. Perhaps not as comfy as my car but why should people automatically take advantage of the considerable cost of keeping a car on the road. I ended up putting down clear ground rules. No pick up or drop off before and after work, as it added considerable time on to my working hours. As for lifts in between, I expected a small contribution for each trip. Anyone not happy was free to use the bus instead. It is really healthy for your own mental health to actually set some boundaries.

Take, try the following

"I get you're ill but you have to work because the only carers free are non drivers."

You have an hour between your tea calls and your night calls: tea finished at half five, beds start at half six. But Lizzie needs taking home and it's rush hour so that takes half an hour, then Sarah needs picking up for beds and traffic is still busy so there's another twenty minutes. So I get ten minutes break, they each get an hour.

No insurance, petrol, MOTs to worry about. Door to door dropping off & picking up.

I sound angry but I'm more frustrated, because I know I'll end up giving a lift as we won't finish till half ten tonight in a dodgy area. But then I won't be home till past 11.

Why not meet at a close location to where the client lives. Then at least that way you will both be prepared to get on with the job. Its on your way and then you won't feel so put out.

If a client requires two people to hoist him or her up and she is 15 minutes late. Then that will eat into his time and money and it will look very unprofessional. Agencies lose clients for those reasons, we all want value for money. That means less work for you.

Who is 15 minutes late?

Drop of her off at a bus stop or train station. I worked in care and there were times when I was walking home at night because the buses stopped running. I never made it anyone else's problem. Don't go out of your way for her, she might realize she is in the wrong job.

How about saying that you can pick up/drop off somewhere on your way that is reasonably handy for her. Offer that as a compromise and say then that doesn´t work for her, she can get a taxi.

Some of the most committed care givers will have a vent and be effing and blinding off duty. In fact, I consider that a healthy coping mechanism to rid yourself of tension and frustration to continue to be able to provide that care on the job.

Completely agree. But remember this is MN, where any hint of you having a multi-dimensional personality and not being solely defined by your job, will cause people's heads to explode in a puff of logic. If you're a carer then you can't possibly be allowed to vent, swear or give any hint of dissatisfaction, otherwise you must be crap at your job and virtually abusing your vulnerable clients. I'm only surprised that nobody has trotted out the old chestnut of feeling sorry for OP's kids yet.

DP's care agency charge 3x as much as they charge Jesus. That's shocking. The whole situation around carers is a mess. No private company should be able to make that much profit.
So much is expected from the individuals working in care for little money . My dm became a carer in the late 90s because she wasn't able to cope with nursing any more. She was supposed to simply provide respite care but as the years rolled by families were treating her like a maid. One family kept asking her to do the ironing and when she would ask the office, they'd say 'oh just do it this time', on repeat. There were two able bodied adults in that particular household who could have done it but social services were paying my dm to do their ironing. And she would rarely get thanks from clients or their families. When she was rushed to hospital last year she didn't get a single card from the people she'd looked after for years or, more importantly, her office. People have high expectations of the 'caring professions' but they don't give much back.

How about saying that you can pick up/drop off somewhere on your way that is reasonably handy for her.

You articulated that much better than me that's what I meant. It makes it easier to get on with the job.

Years and years ago I started giving a lift to a work colleague the one day a week we used to go to college. One weekend I was in a car accident and my car was written off. When I told her I could no longer offer her a lift she said “how am I going to get to college then?” There are entitled people out there. I agree OP that if you do it once it will be expected.

Oh, yes, the families who think you're a maid! To be fair many are lovely, but there are a couple who want to do the washing up and deep clean the kitchen while you're there!

Fucks sake there’s nothing wrong with the OP saying "you stupid piece of shit", she’s venting and it’s ok to do just that on an anonymous forum. Those of you who’ve taken issue with it really are very self-righteous and need to get a life.

OP YANBU - you’re not a taxi service.

When I did home care they paired up drivers with non drivers so they would only have to pay one lot of mileage. However, non drivers were expected to make their own way to their first call and their way home. Was never a problem for me as I lived in the centre of the city and could walk to/from the calls. I also had a driving licence though so could use the company cars.
The only time I ever asked (not expected) to be dropped off was when we ended up finishing very late and there had been a number of stabbings in the area. The person I was with flatly refused which I would have been fine with. But I did think it was off of her to have a go at me for asking. Eventually I ended up doing the twig shift with the same person every time and she was lovely and always offered lifts. I declined the offer other than a couple of occasions as I didn't want her coming out of her way but it was appreciated.
That was maybe 5 years ago. I still work in care but back then we didn't even get paid travel time. So ended up working for example 10 hours but only paid for 7.

Btw Op I think you're being a bit harsh. While your colleague is taking you for granted, surely it wouldn't be inconvenient for you if she came to your house and travelled with you from there.