Aibu to not know why you wouldn't be able to feed your DC's breakfast?

[Bearlover16]

Daughters school has recently extended the 'paid' breakfast club to 'free' breakfast club due to an increase in the number of children going to school not having had any breakfast.

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid?

I'm not well off by any means and I do donate to food banks when I can. I also ensure my dcs have had breakfast before leaving the house as I was always led to believe it's the most important meal of the day.

'You just don't know what goes on in some households'.

Exactly. And rather than fathom or judge, we need to feed the kids who are hungry through no fault of their own (usually).

Think of the kids, they are not the ones making the choices on how to spend the family budget.

This thread makes me feel so sad and angry. It's outrageous in this day and age that kids have to live like this.

As a child my mum worked and my dad was an addict who wouldn't think anything of stealing electricity money ext. My mum frequently went without meals and towards the end of the month food was very scarce, I remember once walking several miles to my nans when she was on holiday to get some cereal, tins ect. This was the 90s times were hard on alot of families for different reasons, breakfast club would have been a God send. Worrying about your next meal as a child shouldn't be a reality for anyone.

I call bullshit on most people who say they cannot afford to feed their kids breakfast

Me too. It costs pennies to make with or without cooking. Poor parenting and poor choices most likely.

Whilst we add yet another aspect of parenting into schools, it just encourages more and more to opt out of their responsibilities or keep on having children with no intentions of supporting them.

Poor parenting and poor choices are perpetuated in poor areas though In my area girls aged 15 have babies and this cycle continues through the next generations. Many parents are poorly educated and their children have little hope.There are 6 and 7 year olds calling their teachers cunts on a daily basis, being excluded and suspended for smoking in primary schools, witnessing DV at home and repeating it in school thinking it is the norm. They grow up and continue this vicious cycle. I can feel nothing but sadness that it continues to happen in what should be a civilised society. I can't bring myself to blame the parents when their parents would've been the same.

'I call bullshit on most people who say they cannot afford to feed their kids breakfast.'

'Me too. It costs pennies to make with or without cooking. Poor parenting and poor choices most likely.'

You two, and anyone else, can call bullshit all they like. That won't help hungry children. Should they be punished for their parents' choices or situation? Really?

You can bullshit starving children as much as you want.

Doesn't mean they will cease to exist.

I bet the people calling bullshit are the ones that have never worked in schools or social services settings and actually experienced what goes on.

It’s not bullshit. I have been there and genuinely couldn’t afford food for my dds. It was short term - thank god- but it can happen. It would have happened again if I hadn’t had the mercy of credit meters. Not having to top up the meter and knowing the bill won’t come for another month has been a god send on times. And I have easy walkable access to an Aldi. When buying my house I genuinely considered whether I could walk to a supermarket (local shops are soo much more expensive and the car is usually first to go as the costs are too high when poor) , I considered if it had credit meters, and a place to store wholesale dry good (pantry) .

Because despite now being able to afford a house and having a good lifestyle that kind of poverty doesn’t leave you ( and good thing too- dh and I worked together and were made redundant along with 100s of others all at once)

There’s a child in my dc class who, I’m fairly certain, only gets breakfast club and fsm. In the summer she wanders the streets and is soo pitifully lethargic and quite the little bully. Whenever I feed her it’s like watching a transformation 😪 she becomes happy, and playful (yes I have reported the scenario , as have School) I think breakfast club is a godsend

Just the point I was coming on the thread to make, Maireadplastic.

I work for a training provider for young people, a lot of their families are so poor they don't get breakfast, lunch, or dinner. We have to provide a lot of them with vouchers to make sure they eat lunch.

Regardless on how the family income, whatever that may be, is spent. Those kids deserve to be fed in some way, and I back any program that supports that and doesn't punish the kids for their parents failings. Do you propose that we don't help to make a point? And not only their health suffers but their education does too, Yellow?

Unfortunately you ABU ‘a loaf of bread for less than a quid’ can be gold dust for a family with 10p in the bank. Add something to go on the bread, electric to toast it.
With 5 children to feed I have, in the past, had to send them to my parents for a hot meal while I go without

Depending on the parents other things can take priority over breakfast. On the estate I grew up on there were some kids who had nothing and rarely feed but oddly enough their parents always seemed to have a fag on the go or money for the pub.

ANd, for the record, I am not a young parent, nor am I single or uneducated

Well, it's lovely that some people are unaware that, if someone has zero pennies, even food that costs pennies is out of reach, but the children who are going hungry need food, not judgement.

I remember going without food often as a child. There were various reasons for this including poverty,, mental health issues, and alcoholism. We also had our electric and gas cut off on several occasions, winter and summer. It breaks my heart that there are still children going through this kind of shit in a country as wealthy as ours. I would never begrudge any child a free meal, whatever the reasons they weren't being fed at home. It's not their fault.

Some people are very, very poor. Some people’s lives are very chaotic. Some parents living in poverty are also battling depression and having to go out and buy milk from the reduced session ready for the morning might be extremely difficult for them.

Whether you think it’s down to poor budgeting or poor parenting or whatever is irrelevant. It’s not the kids’ fault.

Are you seriously suggesting a civilised society should let kids go hungry just because they disapprove of thier parents’ choices?

I think you live in a bit of a bubble. I work in a school where the kids have been through so much before they even get to school. Some of them have to get themselves and their siblings up due to parents working or in some cases parents just not getting up (not because they’ve been in late shifts etc) this is really happening out there. We have kid that their free school meal will be their only meal. I took part in an activity week and took some chocolates in for the kids and one of the notorious kids was put with us. He was shoving the chocolates in like you’ve never seen and when I questioned it further it was because he wasn’t fed at all. Not at all children are lucky enough to have parents who love them or they may be suffering from addiction etc. It’s a hard world out there for some of our children

Sometimes I have to choose the long term more expensive option as the cheaper long term option is dearer short term

Agree Graphista - my grannie always used to say "You've got to be rich to be poor." Poor people can't buy in bulk and take advantage of cheaper prices, nor can they afford quality goods e.g. shoes, and therefore have to replace cheap ones a lot more frequently. when you are living on the financial edge, it takes very little to push you over the precipice.

I help with a church school holiday club in a very deprived area, and it is very popular. I know for a fact that one of the reasons is that it is a way or many mothers to ensure that their children have a meal. For a lot of them it is the only meal they get that day. Their parents aren't feckless, or uncaring - they are poor.

As a community speech and language therapist I went into homes which had concrete floors covered with flattened cardboard boxes - you would not believe how cold they are in winter (and summer, for that matter). There are families whose children have NO toys - none. Mum may have a mobile, but she needs that because ex-partner is violent and breaks into the house regularly, taking anything she manages to get and breaking or stealing it and threatening her and her children.

Many parents, particularly mothers, may eat only a couple of slices of toast a day (not because dads don't care, but because if they do have a job, even minimum wage, they need to have something in their stomachs so they can put in a full day's work).

There are a lot of children who go back to school after the 6 week holiday considerably thinner than they were at the start.

There is much more real poverty in Britain than most people think. Elderley people and the very young are horribly vulnerable.

Same reason they do dental visits and tooth brushing, aswell as fruit and milk and free dinners till the end of year two.

A lot of children would go without basics for various reasons

I grew up in a single parent family but my mum did her best to get up and feed me every morning. I remember being constantly cold in the winter so tough choices had to be made. There are children living in dysfunctional families where fags and booze are the priority, others in good families that are caught in the poverty trap. They all deserve to eat.

Why are people having kids if they can't afford to feed them?!

Ah sunshine I forgot that everyone's circumstances stay exactly the same for the rest of their lives after they plan children not to mention that sometimes accidents happen!

This blog helps to explain the reality of how poverty works. It's written by a proper academic and everything (but it's an easy read and he's certainly qualified to know of what he speaks): www.thisappalachialife.com/single-post/2017/05/10/My-Mother-Wasnt-Trash

I send my sons to breakfast club. I do not have time for breakfast. I get up at 5.30 and get myself dressed and lunches done before getting the kids up and fight them to get dressed and out the door by 6.45. I then sit in traffic to get them to their school s (One primary and one secondary) which takes about an hour. I then fight the traffic to get to work, about another 45 minutes. I don't have time to feed either my boys nor myself. Breakfast clubs are a God send.

No I don't think there is an excuse. My circumstances have changed dramatically over the last couple of months (ex has stopped maintenance, I've had to quit work due to childcare issues and I've had a tax credit overpayment). I am scarily broke but my children are always fed, clean and happy. Yes the treats are fewer but they don't go without the basics.

Arborea that article is spot on. I think it's easy for people who live in nice areas with big houses and brand new cars, who are lucky enough to send their children to nice schools, to say they don't understand why these scroungers don't just get jobs and stop having children.