Aibu to not know why you wouldn't be able to feed your DC's breakfast?

[Bearlover16]

Daughters school has recently extended the 'paid' breakfast club to 'free' breakfast club due to an increase in the number of children going to school not having had any breakfast.

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid?

I'm not well off by any means and I do donate to food banks when I can. I also ensure my dcs have had breakfast before leaving the house as I was always led to believe it's the most important meal of the day.

sunshine DH was self-employed when DS2 was born, HB forced him to sign on because he "wasn't earning enough to support his family." He managed to get a part-time caretaker's job, 20 hours a week. We're much worse off now, and claiming more from the state.

Its been my unfortunate experience that if i REALLY needed help, it was not available. It's a fallacy that if you are sick, poor, hungry, hurt, desperately need childcare that family, neighbors, friends pitch in. Maybe sometimes, but look at the responses here.

Also, foodbanks are not all fancy chocolates etc that was on previous thread. It's strange beans and suspicious things in cans sometimes.

Fresh fruit and veg are not things that go on sale so often impoverished are heavy bc healthy food is difficult to store and difficult to purchase.

Thank you very much for your kindness and newfound awareness those whose eyes opened to poverty and hunger on this thread.

Shame on those who asked why i had my babies. I never thought it would happen to me....just like you.

So why not work nights then @EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck and put some cash in the pot? Or evenings? Or take it ironing or spare child? You know standard Mumsnet response....

Me too. It costs pennies to make with or without cooking. Poor parenting and poor choices most likely.

Repeating this ignorant statement does not make it any truer.

I bet the people calling bullshit are the ones that have never worked in schools or social services settings and actually experienced what goes on.

Yes. They're to found nedt to the same group of people that denounce any sort of state support whilst also claiming CTC,WTC,CB,UTC etc etc.

Hypocrisy at it's finest.

they are living in relative poverty. Not absolute poverty

Ah. I'm glad to see the 2015 poverty thing brought up. I mean it is quite something when you have to redefine the word so you dont look monumentally stupid as a government when you're in line for missing all your targets...

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11355866/Poverty-has-been-redefined-to-the-point-of-meaninglessness.html

Fact - it's NOT easy to get benefits

Fact - there AREN'T enough jobs to go round

Fact - there isn't enough childcare EITHER

Fact - the MINIMUM 6 week wait for UC is policy NOT due to backlogs

Fact - dwp low level workers and similar are penalised for not meeting targets in applying sanctions

Fact - the services that are supposed to recognise and support struggling families have been cut to ribbons!

The shameful attitude to HUNGRY CHILDREN on this thread by some is disgusting!

Whatever the reason kids aren't getting a breakfast it isn't their fault.

They deserve just as good of a start to the day as anyone else and if it's the school breakfast club that has to provide then thank fuck it's there.

I don't want any kids starting the day hungry just because it's their parents fault they're going without.

I never said people shouldn’t get benefits 🙄 if you read back I actually said I think people should, and that there should be help for the minority of people who really need it. Rolling out universal programs and taking responsibility away from parents does not seem like the answer to me at all.

But obviously you are either black or white, no grey areas. nobody can disagree with some of it and agree with other bits without being branded a hypocrite.

Why is it hypocritical to say that there should be provisions for hungry children but that that should be the responsibility of the parents etc, not the school.

I understand it’s easier to categorise people than to believe that anyone is able to think beyond them. It’s not left or right. It’s not black or white. It’s not breakfast club or starve.

& yes the majority of parents CAN afford to give their kids breakfast. Even if you believe it is 1 in 4 which it isn’t because most people below the poverty line do still feed their children, then 3 in 4 is still the majority.

It isn't okay for DC to go hungry. I worked as a child protection social worker, a few parents didn't care, some were not able to make to choices they needed to to look after their DC well (due to addictions, lack of parenting themselves, untreated mental health issues for example) and some were doing their absolute best in situations that anyone would struggle to manage, ( illness, job loss, bereavement and domestic violence) This was before the latest round of austerity cuts which has made everything harder. Regardless of the why the DC are hungry the first issue has to be to get them fed. I personally never found blame useful with any of the above situations, accountability for a few parents and support for all of them will achieve more.

Daisy it should be a parental responsibility yes, but many parents don’t feed their children for many reasons. You can say they should until you’re blue in the face but it will not change the fact that children go to school hungry. School can either feed them or allow them to stay hungry, because you can damn well bank on the fact that there is a core of parents who will still not feed their children if school stops doing so.

I should imagine that cases of such genuine hardship that parents really cannot afford to feed their children is quite rare and short term. The majority of it is poor budgeting, dysfunctional lifestyles and neglect.

I know someone with massive debts who claims after paying them that they have little money for food. Well if it's a choice between your kid's tummy hurting because they are so hungry and a CCJ, I know which one I would make.

I wonder though if neglectful/dysfunctional parents would bother to take the kids in early enough for breakfast though so is it targeting the right kids?

I wouldn't like to think of any child going hungry but it is really up to state to provide again when there is already a welfare system in place and it doesn't solve the problem of the weekends and school holidays which must be awful for these poor kids?

We have so many support networks these days (and a benefit system) offering advice on budgeting, debts, housing and addiction/mental health issues than there ever has been before that it really is inexcusable for any child to have to go hungry. Perhaps it would be more cost effective in the long run to have dedicated social worker type staff in schools to pick up on children in that situation and deal with it individually at source?

Also we need relative poverty from a functionalist perspective. I do not believe pure socialism will ever work anywhere. People need fear behind them and faith in front. Beveridge wrote about it in his 5 giants, the basis of the welfare state as it is today, that if people have all that they want they will become idle and not work.

I have been below the relative poverty line and never want to be there again. But, even below that line I could still afford to eat better than those in absolute poverty, and my child always had breakfast. It was a motivator for me, but I can see how you could settle for the roof over your head, food in your stomach and state childcare provision and just sit down and watch TV all day. It’s hard, BUT NOT AS HARD as people make it out to be.

I don’t ever want people to starve, but in society there has to people who are relatively richer than others, otherwise there is nothing to aspire to. I think the divide is too big in this country, but that it is always necessary for there to be a divide.

Because for those who won’t settle at the bottom it spurs us on to work hard, get out of that situation and make sure our kids never except just to survive and not to thrive.

Accept not expect

If you are not feeding a baby then social services remove them from your care, why should it not be the same if the child is 4 or 5 or 6.

As I said in a previous post, their are alternatives that help get to the root of the problem and/ or provide for the child in the mean time which do not involve the school taking on more responsibility.

If it’s a FINANCIAL issue then money/food/vouchers/debt advice/help to find work etc. Would help.

If it’s an issue of neglect then SS should be involved. Just as they would if you did not feed a baby.

I don’t think that Is unreasonable. There are some things Parents should do to retain their parental responsibility, and feeding them is one of those.

It's all a matter of habit. If children are given breakfast from early age then it is a matter of course for them. 5 year old has 50 min bus ride to school has to be at bus stop 7.50 am and she has breakfast before leaving house. Some folk no matter rich or poor just cannot be bothered. And, don't start with the busy parents having to get to work etc., both parents work full time in this instance.

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid? ... I'm not well off by any means and I do donate to food banks when I can

The fact that you donate to food banks not enough of an answer for you?

Universal Credit is being introduced and the benefit rules and amounts have changed. There is no longer a safety net. Yes, people are that poor.

Cornflakes and milk, buttered toast (with or without jam/marmalade/marmite) and hard boiled eggs are all cheap especially the caged hen ones

If you have:

a) a means to make the toast and boil the egg, and by means I mean fuel and pans and some way to heat a pan

b) means to store the milk and butter

if you look around, you will notice some kids dont have shoes or shoes appropriate for the weather or a rain coat or warm jacket, yes some families are struggling that much they dont have money for food for 3 meals a day 7 days a week, some girls dont go to school when they get their period as they cant afford pads or tampons, and some families live in their cars! its happening in every country, most newspapers have reported on it at various times, there normally is a bit of fuss made then it all dies down and the issues dont really get addressed, or they get put in the too hard basket and ignored... so yes some kids need a free school breakfast ( sometimes it is the parents fault, drugs gambling, drinking etc but sometimes its paying the rent/power/doctors bill vs. the food)

Yellow read my posts. DH could only find a 20 hour per week job. We depend on WTC, which isn't enough. As a couple, we're allowed to work 30 hours a week or lose WTC. That means I can only accept a 10 hour a week job. Where do you suggest I find that?

My DC don't go to breakfast club, by the way, but I can see why they exist.

wannabe see my previous response. Also, if I work nights, who's going to take my DC to school? DH leaves at 6.30am.

minimij that's also bollocks. DS1 didn't eat breakfast because his stomach was full of mucus. As an adult, he often doesn't do his night feeds, because they make him feel sick in the morning. DD only stopped having breakfast last year. She doesn't feel hungry until about 12. I've recently got her to eat a pain au chocolat in the morning, which is better than nothing.

DaisyRaine90

Whatever the issue it isn't the fault of the child.

I did supply at a school where breakfast was not only provided FOC but was compulsory for staff and students.

If a child genuinely didn't want to eat they could get a drink or not eat but they had to go to the canteen with their class and teacher.

People are really struggling to grasp that if you have NO money you cannot afford 'cheap' things either.