My son is 6 and in year 2. There is a boy in his class, let's call him Z, who I hear is very difficult. Z has been sent out repeatedly, this year and last year (we were not in the school before then) for hitting other children. I have heard from other mums who volunteer at school that Z is very disruptive and violent. I have only seen Z once, at a social gathering a year ago, and he played really rough with other kids. His parents had to watch him like hawks and intervene repeatedly as he kept on hitting other kids with toys. I remember him being very aggressive. This was before I had heard anything about him from other mums. I only just realised he's the same boy as my friends have been telling me about.
My son played with Z for a few days when school started, but then told us he didn't want to play with him anymore. I can't remember exactly how he phrased it, but he clearly thought Z was naughty and had done bad things.
I just bumped into Z's mum who said she's very keen for Z to do a play date with my son.
I'm not at all keen on that. My son is not perfect, but he's not nasty. I don't want him to feel scared or to pick up bad traits from Z.
Should I make up excuses, be busy every weekend until the end of times, tell the mum the boys aren't really friends, or tell her the real reason, I.e that it's because of her son's behaviour? I'm pretty sure she knows he is very challenging, as the school is big on discipline. I don't want to hurt her, so probably best not to say anything - but that's not really helpful is it?
I've got to dash soon but will be back late tonight for replies. Please let's not turn this into a bunfight. It's a genuine question.