to let my 13 year old take a 12 hour flight alone

[caffelatte100]

My 13 year old DS is booked to take a flight from Europe to Asia to stay with a grandparent for his half term holiday. We will take him to passport and then he will be met by grandparent the other side. It is a direct flight with no changes. Just to be clear, he will not an accompanied child (e.g. he will do it all alone with no assistance) and he will have to collect his suitcase. He's flown a lot, travels independently on trains and buses by himself everyday in the country where we live.

I was feeling confident that he can manage it really well and that this would be a really exciting trip for him, enriching for both him and his grandparents who also have lots of great things planned for him. However, when I was telling a friend about this today she couldn't believe that I would let him fly alone and almost accused me of being reckless in my decision. She also told me that other airlines don't let kids fly alone until they are older and that this must be for a reason. He's flown lots of times, speaks the local lingos, is confident and could ask for help if he needed it and he looks after his things. The only thing that I am nervous is the small possibility that he might become ill on the flight. AIBU to let him do this? Do you have any last minute advice I can give him?

I lost a 16 year old work experience student who wasn't able to say they couldn't see a bus sto across the road.

So, by all means let him fly, he's old enough. But do a bit of practise discussion about how he should handle things going wrong.

£100 each way seems like a good reason not to use the unaccompanied minors service He sounds capable and confident. He'll be able to ring you/message you if he needs to - most airports have wifi. and you can track his flight online so will know if there is a delay/diversion etc. He sounds fab.

I think from everything you've said he will be absolutely fine, unless he is particularly disorganised or frequently late. My DD has flown long haul (possibly the same route as your son?) both as UM and also just with a friend of the same age before.

What I particularly liked about the UM service was that the cabin crew kept all her travel documents and handed them back to me at the airport, which for a child who has a track record of losing items was invaluable. DD didn't love the idea of being a UM but the reality was fine!

In terms of diversions being highly unlikely, the only caveat I would add is that October is still typhoon season in SE Asia and planes can (rarely) be diverted, e.g. from Hong Kong to Taiwan. I have a friend whose son flying alone experienced this and it did throw him off as he hadn't expected it at all. However, you can check the destination weather conditions ahead of the flight- it would need to be a pretty bad typhoon for this to happen.

With respect to overbooking or cancellation, the flight manager for Cathay Pacific at Heathrow told me that UM are prioritised and guaranteed a seat on the next available flight - but again, the likelihood is rare that he would be in that situation.

As pp have said, plenty of phone communication, allowing more time than he thinks to get to the gate and perhaps a getting him to send you a selfie once he arrives at the gate next to the flight number display to reassure you will be the way forward!

With kids that fly, I would still choose accompanied. I think too they will get through quicker and enjoy the special treatment, and they are still being "grown up" doing that alone.

My boys both flew at 14 on Transatlantic Flights to San Francisco alone.They are used to flying and it was no problem.

Just to say I was on a diverted flight once and post diversion once the crew had gone over their requisite hours, they left. (It was Easter Sunday in a not v bustling Eastern European airport and we were on a 14 hour long haul flight to Heathrow). There were 3 unaccompanied minors on the trip and once the crew disappeared they were left to their own devices for 12 hours. They were siblings and one of them was v young. Other people took care of them. This was BA in 2005.
In theory this is fine and air travel is easier/safer than rail travel because you can't get off etc but if things go wrong it tends to be more catastrophic, logistically than a delayed train.

Aside from airport inconveniences I can't imagine any danger he could come to on a plane, assuming he's savvy/experienced enough to cope with things like gate changes and baggage claim etc...

i cant also imagine many nice people would stand back if they saw a distressed kid of any kind after a diverted flight occurance.make sure he knows to go straight to a staffed desk.as silly as it sounds don't follow a strangr who says "comes this way" use common sense,insitnct etc. if I was an airline staff and saw someone of that age come to my desk id do anything I could to make sure we sorted him and made sure he was safe.
and it there is worst case then he just phones you and comes home or asks for advice surely.
but how often does this happen over the millions of flights each day.
try not to keep overthinking every enventuality though op because then youll come up with worries that shouldn't even or certainly weren't there to begin with.

I have to admire your 13 year old, my 16 year old struggles with getting two buses to college, LOL. No way would I consider sending him on a flight on his own.

I am surprised a 16 year old struggles with getting 2 buses to college. But then I was getting 2 buses by myself to school from 12.

brasty can I suggest you try to be less judgemental. I know a few 16 and 17 year olds who are suffering from anxiety and depression. Getting on a bus and asking for a fare is a big deal for them

I think the most likely thing to go wrong, is getting to the gate in time. So this is the bit to emphasise.
Collecting baggage is easy. And as long as he knows if his baggage isn't there to ask someone or phone you.
And in the very rare occasion his flight got diverted, he needs to speak to the cabin crew before the plane lands. There was a problem with a flight I had in China getting delayed, which meant i would have missed my connection. i spoke to the cabin crew and someone met me off the airplane and rushed me through usual places to connecting flight. And I was an adult. People will want to help, so don't over catastrophise. The most likely thing is a flight delay, so as long as he has money for drinks and food, he will be fine.

Yes if someone has mental health problems getting on a bus can be difficult. But that isn't about their age, it is about their mental health issue.

We allowed this with one of ours from the same age.
DS2 went to meet his aunt in Melbourne when he was 12, nearly 13.
He had done the flight with us before. Also he was used to airports.
We fly many times a year and from about the age of about 7 I would get the boys to get us from the airport car park to our destination airport and through customs. I would pretend I didn't know what I was doing so they would have to find the gate, the seats, help go through customs etc so by the time they hit their teens it was second nature to them.

And planes are easier than trains and buses. There are always staff around to ask for help, unlike on trains.

Congratulations on having an independent, confident child, OP - I agree with you that this journey shouldn't pose any problems. This thread reminded me of my DD who had flown with her brother as an UM on a couple of occasions (short haul) at a young age. When the opportunity arose for her to travel without him I was completing the UM form prior to her booking and she insisted that in answer to the question "Has the child flown unaccompanied before?" my response should be "Many times"! I'm pretty sure the fact that now she lives on the other side of the world is unrelated to her early solo travels .

Surely his depends on how confident your child is? Either way - we can't tell you if you are reasonable or unreasonable as we don't know your child - if he's not independent then YABU. If he is independent then YANBU. Stop listening to your friend and speak to your child to find out how he feels about it.

I'd 7se the UM service. I used to fly as an UM as a child.

As others have said, only you know if he is ready for this. If you feel that he is, he is fine.

Do check the procedures on minors traveling alone and see if you need some kind of documentation stating that he has permission to travel.

If you feel happy and your child feels happy then it sounds a sensible plan. When we were planning our trip to Australia last summer to visit grandparents, and I had a lot (still do!) to try to help my mother with, I wondered in my head about sending the kids home a week earlier on their own to be ready for back to school but give me more time; my 14 yr old daughter independently suggested much the same thing. At 14 and 12 I think they could have manged it; having each other helpful perhaps especially in coping with stop en route. I could imagine feeling OK putting the 12 yr old on a flight independently in a year's time.

OP work for a langauge company and I help manage their summer camps in Spain that has kids coming from all over the world into Madrid from the age of 13 ... they all manage it perfectly fine and we deal with literally hundreds of teenagers flying in each week in July.

The issues we most commonly come up against are immigration issues (needing to show visas/not knowing the answers to basic questions like "Where are you staying? Who are you staying with" if they're asked during the passport control checks which flags up as a concern), delayed flights, missed connections and lost luggage. Fortunately with a direct flight you won't have to worry about connections but the other three issues can be minimised if your DS is appropriately prepared.

When you drop your DS off at the airport, if he's checking bags in then you should be able to ask the desk agent what gate he is departing from so that you know he knows the right information.

Then take him to security and advise him to go straight to the gate area once he's through (and make sure any liquids/electronics are packed to be conveniently removed from his hand luggage for the security check) but to keep an eye on the departure screens in case of any gate changes.

In case of delays I would advise him to firstly message you to let you know of the delay but also go directly to the boarding desk and speak directly with the airline staff and they will more than likely keep an eye on him to make sure he is safe even if he isn't on their official UM program. Also I'd make sure he has enough money on him so that if he is delayed for a while he has enough money to get himself a meal/drinks/snacks as airport prices are extortionate at the best of times.

Also I would encourage him to let the flight crew know he's flying alone, that way they can give him any extra help - eg he might not be able to reach to get his bag in/out the overhead bin, or he might be sat next to someone that is making him uncomfortable (whether it's a rowdy group of drunk people or someone who is behaving inappropriately) and they may be able to re-seat him closer to their station if they know, or if he did become ill on the flight they'd know he was alone and needed to be more carefully monitored/checked on than a child who is travelling with a parent/carer.

Make sure he has some record of who is meeting him - their name/address/contact information - and any relevant information about the trip in case he's asked during passport control, also what to do if his luggage gets lost.

In addition it might be a good idea (if he doesn't already know the language) to make sure he knows a few basic phrases of the local language - so that he knows what signs to look for in the airport and also so that in case of problems on arrival he can find an official and be able to say "Hello, can you help me?/do you speak English? I need help.")

My DD flew alone without UM at 14, through Heathrow, direct. The rules: I stayed in airport till takeoff; text me when gate comes up (and I was following online so I knew when it came up); go straight to gate; text from gate; text when bum in seat.
It worked.

@notacooldad. Awesome. UK to AUS solo at 13. Well done your son. Not everyone is ready emotionally for that.

My brother flew to visit relatives in the US on his own when he was 14. Direct flight London - Chicago. Unfortunately one of his fellow passengers had a heart-attack, the plane had to land in Ireland and everyone ended up being put up in a hotel there for the night. He thought it was great but I still remember my mothers look of horror when she got the call from his hotel room!!