to let my 13 year old take a 12 hour flight alone

[caffelatte100]

My 13 year old DS is booked to take a flight from Europe to Asia to stay with a grandparent for his half term holiday. We will take him to passport and then he will be met by grandparent the other side. It is a direct flight with no changes. Just to be clear, he will not an accompanied child (e.g. he will do it all alone with no assistance) and he will have to collect his suitcase. He's flown a lot, travels independently on trains and buses by himself everyday in the country where we live.

I was feeling confident that he can manage it really well and that this would be a really exciting trip for him, enriching for both him and his grandparents who also have lots of great things planned for him. However, when I was telling a friend about this today she couldn't believe that I would let him fly alone and almost accused me of being reckless in my decision. She also told me that other airlines don't let kids fly alone until they are older and that this must be for a reason. He's flown lots of times, speaks the local lingos, is confident and could ask for help if he needed it and he looks after his things. The only thing that I am nervous is the small possibility that he might become ill on the flight. AIBU to let him do this? Do you have any last minute advice I can give him?

No way no way !!! Can't believe anyone would do this

I travel long haul frequently and can't see a problem while on the plane but would ask for assistance to ensure he is accompanied to the gate. It is sometimes quite confusing re which gate and it can be changed.
Also lately there have been issues with passengers being dumped in favour of what the airline decides are more important passengers. A staff member would ensure your DS was given priority

What do you think is going to happen Mumof41987 - that he will spontaneously combust at 40,000 feet?

"would ask for assistance to ensure he is accompanied to the gate. "

Not necessarily possible. BA are a low-cost airline now so no longer offer this service. Singapore Airlines do, however.

I sent my child off, alone and unaccompanied, at age 13 and we didn't even know the people who were the 'meet and greet' party at the other end...all was well, it was fine.
Your DS will be fine too.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. All he has to do is get on the plane and off. It's easier than taking a bus.

The solution to most of HellOnHeels’ scenarios is that the person dropping them off doesn’t leave the airport until they have positive confirmation that the aircraft has taken off with child on it. That way they’re on site with mobile in hand to talk child and airline staff through any problems.

I’ve let my child fly solo from age 12, admittedly for 1 hour flights. Direct flight should be fine, however I would do masses of preparation, give them emergency money, charge their phone myself, talk to attendants, and keep in phone contact until they are just about to board. You have to sign a disclaimer with phone numbers etc so the flight attendant will have all your details.

I actually still wouldn’t let my child, now 15, take a train solo! Airports are way safer and no chance of getting off at wrong stop, and also planes are more observed than a rail carriage. I’d also talk through how to talk to a stranger, say to them it’s fine to chat, but to not reveal school, address, username etc and to leave straight away at the other end. To keep an eye on their bag at all times, etc.

It would be good to be accompanied thought if they offer or you can afford it.

UmmmKultum - BA no longer offer the UM service. We used to use them regularly for our kids flying back & forth between UK & Hong Kong, whilst we lived here but we had to switch to Cathay's UM service.

Agreed it depends on the child and their maturity. My kids flew UM from ages 12 - 16. Although technically they didn't need the UM service, I always felt happier paying the extra for the UM, knowing that should anything happen like a diverted flight or something, they would be looked after and I know my two felt happier having somebody escort them through security, passport control and onto the plane etc.

From what I've seen of unaccompanied minors on VA, they deal with them very well - the two kids next to me were checked on consistently throughout their flight.

Ones the service include airport assistance? Pulling his bag from the belt etc?

My just 14 year old did similar over the summer. For a direct flight I wouldn’t consider this a problem. Accompanied services have really scaled back over the last few years. Each airline seems to have their own policy but many allow over 12s to travel on their own. Interestingly when I check my DC in the check in staff didn’t know the policy for the airline they were travelling with!

What airports will he be flying to/from? Some are easier than others to get through.. I'm cabin crew, and would always keep an eye on a young child on their own, but it's the getting to and from customs etc that may be more difficult. Given the choice, I'd have the accompanied service for a 12yr old. They get taken through security quicker usually too! He doesn't need to worry, he will be on his own most of the time, and not "nannied" all the time, but will be helped out with landing cards and shown the way etc.

My 15 year old has been flying as an unaccompanied minor since he was 14 - to visit his Dad on domestic flights within the UK. You need to check with the airline - BA will not allow anyone under 16 to travel unaccompanied and most other airlines it’s 14. I think for a long haul flight you will have to or would be better off paying extra for him to be accompanied by airline staff.

If only for your own peace of mind. There have been situations where flights are diverted - I think you need to consider all eventualities at that age to be honest.

We thought and talked about the UM service but now it seems a bit late and he doesn't want it. He knows one airport well and I am sure he can navigate the other one by himself. He'll have lots of time. We'll also stay at the airport until the flight has taken off.

Honeyroar he's 13 and quite mature....
Harvey had not thought of a diverted flight, it doesn't happen often though does it?

caffe. He's far safer doing that than travelling by train. He will be just fine, try not to load other people's worries onto his shoulders.

As for the 'shock horror I'd never do that' lot...

He's thirteen not 3 for crying out loud. Stop wrapping kids in cotton wool, start expecting more from your kids, they'll deliver.

Diverted flights are rare and ALL passengers are taken care of.

I have friends who do this regularly- the kids have a great time and are brilliantly looked after by the airline staff. As long as he's happy I wouldn't think twice.

You can be on constant face time with him if you want. You can look up all his flight stats online - it will tell you what the gate number is what the collection belt number is for luggage etc......let him work it out himself but just text or FT to check. He will be fine....lucky boy. No difference on a direct long-haul than a short-haul flight.

I did this at 13. And at 15 when I was snowed in by land in this country used an emergency chequebook, and booked and took an internal UK flight to get to Heathrow, spent a night in a hotel, and took my flight the next morning.

Think the 'start expecting more' comment is spot on.

Stop wrapping kids in cotton wool, start expecting more from your kids, they'll deliver.

Yes, I agree Chipping, it's surprising what they can achieve and we're also living in a country where kids are really independent; they walk to school from 4 years old, and now my 10 year old takes a bus and train to and from school everyday.

Yes diverted flights are rare - have personally experienced one diverted flight in probably over 100 flights

If he's comfortable and you are comfortable then it's fine. My dd did a series of flights from Los Angeles to Europe this summer. The age that a child is allowed to fly alone varies enormously from one airline to the next. Virgin is ok after age 11, for KLM and Delta it's 15. So dd flew unaccompanied from LA to the UK, but then had to be accompanied from the UK to Germany and from Germany back to the USA. She was nervous, as it was her first flight alone, but was super happy and confident afterwards because she did it. It really depends on the person. I am not sure I would put my ds on a flight alone at age 50 and not feel worried.

"I am not sure I would put my ds on a flight alone at age 50 and not feel worried"

Very amusing and so true! (thinking of my ds also)

I'd definitely use the unaccompanied minors service- if flights are overbooked, delayed or diverted someone will be responsible for making sure he is where he needs to be. Your faith in the reliability of airlines is touching but seems rather naive!

The benefits of smooth transitions through security/ border control/ luggage pickup shouldn't be underestimated either. Perhaps he could fly without a UM chaperone, but why make life more stressful than it needs to be?