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AIBU?

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Original poster

... A bit upset to be referred to, by a 3rd party, as 'huge'?

552 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 11/10/2017 10:21

Just this....

Someone referred to me as this... You'll recognise her.. She's the huge girl...

Apart from rudeness... At what size does someone become 'huge'.. I appreciate it's all relative etc etx...

PS I'm an (in proportion) size 18-20 and 5 foot 8. So to me tallish and curvy...

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 12/10/2017 10:56

Quack - I'm 5ft 10, 14 bottoms and 16 top (boobs, they're always baggy on my waist) and I happily do everything fitness wise. I go to spin, Pilates, horse ride, lift weights. I carry my weight on my boobs mostly, I don't have a bum 😂

Dress size definitely isn't the main thing, it's fitness, health, what you eat... do you exercise, do you eat well, are your bloods ok, your resting pulse, your blood pressure etc etc

ConkerGame · 12/10/2017 11:04

I don't think there's any point in discussing whether or not the OP actually is huge or not - it's all relative and to someone who's 5 foot tall and a size 6, the OP will seem huge by comparison, whereas she won't seem huge to someone of a more similar size to her.

The point is whether the person was rude to say it or not. OP, I think if this person is a friend or someone who you work closely with then what they've said is incredibly hurtful and I'd be keeping my distance if I were you.

If on the other hand they are someone you barely know and we're describing you to someone else you don't know then it's still rude and thoughtless but I wouldn't give it much more thought - it says a lot more about them than it does about you that they would be willing to describe a colleague in that way.

ConkerGame · 12/10/2017 11:05

*were

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 11:07

What is wrong with people that they think that is normal???

Because it is normal now. The average size is 14-16. The average woman is overweight. Whether that is optimum for health or not is a moot point, the point is by calling size 16 "huge" you're being disingenuous. It's the average. It is NORMAL.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/10/2017 11:11

Aaah it's time for a good old MN fatty bash on the guise of "oooh we're just addressing the obesity epidemic"

I agree.

Many sports people would be classed as obese. Would you say they were unhealthy?

With the majority of people being overweight or obese, people truly have lost sight of what is a healthy weight and clamping hand over ears and shouting "fatshaming!" does nothing about trying to turn these statistics around.

Being nasty, rude about people is disgraceful. You can wrap it up in 'concern as much as you like. It's still awful behaviour.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 12/10/2017 11:11

olivander nope my body is fucked and I’m only 23 lol I have thyroid issues, knee issues, feet issues the lot lolim knackered walking up and down stairs my knees crack whenever I go upstairs and it’s agony. I breathe heavily and my heart pounds if I over do it to my standards, I just about get by. To be fair though the thyroid issues that I never got checked for years could be the reason for some weight etc the rest is all chocolate. I know I’m big and don’t deny it (in fact I’m now losing it, slowly but surely) it would hurt to be called huge but I think I get it because I am tall, fat and broad. People denying they are big does annoy me though.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 12/10/2017 11:12

Just because a size 16 is the new normal doesn’t actually make it a normal healthy weight.. surely.

Ollivander84 · 12/10/2017 11:21

Healthy depends on the person though. You could have two size 16 people, both different weights and both completely different health results. My bloods are fine, blood pressure low, resting pulse fine etc etc. But I have full bloods every 12 weeks and they will spot instantly if any of it is out of range or changing. I happily do pole fitness and aerial hoop and I don't have rolls of fat anywhere. Wearing a 32 bra band

Mominatrix · 12/10/2017 11:24

It is a myth that many sports people would be classified as obese.

Also, the attitude that being a size 16 is perfectly acceptable because it is the norm (i.e. average) does not make it an ideal situation and something not to be dismayed about. If trends continue, the average size will continue to increase. When and if we hit a situation where more than 50% of people are obese, will that make being obese fine as it will be the average/norm?

helzapoppin2 · 12/10/2017 11:25

I'm size 18-20. Out and proud. I've never been described as "huge". I'm quite proud of my body. It's born two children, looked after several others, survived breast cancer, and has a crap thyroid. I'm thankful for it, whatever its size. Maybe it's not about what you've got, but what you do with it!

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 11:25

Just because a size 16 is the new normal doesn’t actually make it a normal healthy weight.

As I said, that's a moot point. It doesn't matter if it's healthy or not, the point is the average person is that size, which means shaming the average person is a bit stupid. It's like yelling at someone for smoking in the 1920's, it makes you the asshole and the weirdo, not them.

WitchesHatRim · 12/10/2017 11:26

Healthy depends on the person though

Yep the inconvenient truth

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/10/2017 11:30

It's like yelling at someone for smoking in the 1920's, it makes you the asshole and the weirdo, not them

Actually that's a pretty good analogy, flagging up what can happen when folk finally come to terms with the fact that something is unhealthy and damaging and want to see something done about it

I wonder if that point will ever come with obesity?

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 11:32

You could have two size 16 people, both different weights and both completely different health results.

Yup. I'm a size 14, up until 6 months ago when I was diagnosed with a degenerative spine disease (not associated with weight) and was fired from my job, I was very healthy and fit. I'm working my fitness back up in a safe way for my condition now, but the point is, my bloods and my doctors have always commented on how healthy I am, despite being overweight.

I lost a friend a year ago from a heart attack (she was 42). She was a size 6. :( She had high blood pressure and a host of issues. :( She also drank too much, smoked and got NO exercise.

Weight isn't everything.

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 11:34

folk finally come to terms with the fact that something is unhealthy and damaging and want to see something done about it

Do you honestly think fat people aren't aware of the health risks of being fat?

Do you think everyone but you is an idiot?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/10/2017 11:44

Peanut I'd have thought my point was perfectly clear, in that attitudes can change about what's up for challenge and what isn't

FWIW I certainly do not think everyone but me is an idiot, but I'd also point out that, while you may not agree with what I said, that doesn't automatically make it wrong

Mominatrix · 12/10/2017 12:12

It's like yelling at someone for smoking in the 1920's, it makes you the asshole and the weirdo, not them

Not really. In the 20s the data did not exist to link smoking with the array of medical problems it would cause. It is very well documented that obesity is linked with numerous cancers, negative cardiovascular outcomes, etc. Nothing to do with being an “asshole”. Unless scientists who have demonstrated this are assholes. Bizarre attitude!

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 12:14

I think you're missing the point. The point is, if most women are size 16, than calling them nasty names like huge and not normal makes you look like an asshole, just like yelling at smokers in the 20's, when most people smoked, would make you the asshole.

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 12:16

To be fair, smoking isn't the right analogy. I just can't think of anything that was average in the past that isn't now.

Also, smoking is far, far, far worse for you than obesity, yet people are still doing it.

Mominatrix · 12/10/2017 12:23

Do you mean “you” as in me? I dont think I have used the term huge or made any disparaging remark about size. Overweight/obese are objective terms, not subjective. Huge is a subjective term.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/10/2017 12:24

smoking is far, far, far worse for you than obesity, yet people are still doing it

I used to believe the same myself, but am no longer quite so sure:

www.naturalnews.com/022819.html

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 12:25

I mean "you" as in anyone calling a size 18/20 woman huge or abnormal. It simply isn't.

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 12:31

Puzzled that article is from 2008, doesn't even link to it's source and is on a very biased website.

Fattychan123 · 12/10/2017 12:33

Someone saying its easier to be fat because a healthy ready meal is more expensive than chicken nuggets. FML

hahahahahah

I am done

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 12/10/2017 12:39

If the person speaking was 5'2" and a likely size 16 herself then I would think the height factor was key.

Fwiw "huge" to me suggests a need to book two train or plane seats.