To think kids shouldn't cut up spiders?

[sparklewater]

That, really. A five year old I know was found cutting up a live spider.

AIBU to be absolutely horrified or am I totally over-reacting?

There is a great deal of difference, peppapigearworm, possibly not for the spider, but definitely so for the person.

I don't believe you really think that peppa, and if you do then that's concerning in itself!

5 pages, has anyone said it IS ok to cut up spiders?

Not having a go but it's one of those things that surely everyone is in agreement with? (That it's awful and wrong!!)

I suppose it depends on the child and why they were doing it - if they understood that the spider feels pain and it's cruel and did it anyway then I would be concerned. However if they were, for instance, all about the halloween/witchy stuff and wanted spider legs to make a potion (Meg & Mog use spiders in a spell, Minecraft has fermented spider eye as an ingredient), then a chat about how living things work and feel, and pretend versus real would be in order. Might also take the opportunity to teach them more about spiders and how interesting they are, rather than 'punishment', but it depends very much on the child's understanding and intent.

Cutting up sounds horrendous, where the hell did they get a knife from?!

I have quite vivid memories of pulling the legs off a daddy long legs as a quite young child and the bollocking I got for it. I wasn't meaning to be horrible..I don't even know why I did it tbh.

On the total other side of the coin, when I was about 10 my mate stood on a cricket by mistake and tried to bring it back to life by cutting himself and putting his blood into it and also trying to do CPS on it with a straw... :S

Nothing to do with the thread, but two stories I remember from being a kid to do with insects.

Sorry, scissors not a knife.

That spider must have been huge to be able to be cut up with scissors!

But yeah, should be supervised with them at that age. Please don't say the parents just stood watching their little cherub causing pain to another living creature :S

Of course a doll is a doll and not a human. A spider is a spider and not a baby (so probably less capacity- but not none- for feeling pain).

But since young children are seldom left in charge of babies and in a position to do them serious harm, dolls and insects are practising tools for them to learn empathy.

And then as they grow older to learn the rules that surround killing:

you may kill when there is need, but only certain species or under certain circumstances

when you do kill you must do so as quickly as humanely as you can

inflicting pain for the sake of it is never right

I grew up on an island where we needed fish I caught (from a very young age) to supplement our diet. But I knew the rules: why the fish was killed, when fish could be killed (never fish under a certain length or certain fish at a certain time of year), and I knew how to do it humanely. And for those reasons, I would never have transferred that to pulling legs off a spider.

Again, I swatted mosquitoes- for understandable reasons. But it would never have occurred to me to burn a mosquito (though I had access to matches from quite a young age) because that would be needless infliction of pain.

I would see this as a teaching opportunity rather than "there must be something wrong with this child".

Then how did you even get to hear about it if the child doesn't attend your children's school?
I think you sound nosy not " investing "
Pretty sure the parents can look after their own child and if the school think not they will intervene.

mardy Do you only know children that only go to your children's schools? How is it hard to imagine any of the other numerous scenarios where I might know a child, bearing in mind I have said that I know the parents well. I don't think being concerned about a child that is well-known to me is nosy. Takes a village, etc.

Insect cruelty is very common amongst small children and lots of people kill spiders/ants/slugs/wasps etc. I think it's a bit hysterical to assume this lad's going to grow up to be a serial killer tbh.

I'm another kid who pulled legs off daddy long legs and I remember it being quite a "thing" amongst kids- I suspect fascination that they came off tbh.

I think people who kill a spider by smacking it with a shoe, or drowning it by flushing or washing it down a sink are very, very common. I don't really understand those posters saying it's not.

I don't believe you really think that peppa, and if you do then that's concerning in itself!

I do actually. You are saying that its ok when you kill spiders but its not ok when a child kills spiders. Which is ridiculous and self justifying. Either it's wrong or it isn't.

I don’t kill spiders. They do no harm to my garden or house.

I do kill snails. I have a special snail killing block. I also kill slugs. I chop them in half with scissors. Quick deaths.

Again, I swatted mosquitoes- for understandable reasons. But it would never have occurred to me to burn a mosquito (though I had access to matches from quite a young age) because that would be needless infliction of pain

mosquitos don't feel pain.

peppa I don't kill spiders, so I'm saying no such thing. I AM saying that there's a difference between a swift dispatch and a drawn out death for entertainment.

And there are gleeful threads about killing spiders on here. I find them equally sad. If not more so-adults have absolutely no excuse. I agree.
Deliberately cutting the legs off spiders is nasty though.

Certainly not uncommon behaviour. On a hot sunny day my dh tells tales of burning aunts using a magnyfing glass.

Putting them outside is a drawn out death. That's what many on here say they do.
So again, what is the difference? None, only your perception.

When I was young, probably about 5, i used to kill ants with a magnifying glass.

Eww yes that does seem a pretty gruesome thing for a child to do.Then again I can remember as a child burning ants, with a magnifying glass on a hot summers day, and I literally would not hurt a fly now.

Yes peppa my perception is what's skewed here, not you being deliberately difficult and at all.

I think there's a big difference between killing animals for a reason (fear, food, etc) and killing for pleasure. I think the difference is even more heightened when the latter involves some real hands-on cruelty.

Someone save us from 'free spirits' who are very often little monsters who grow up to be big monsters - sounds like a psychopathic one in the making.

I am terrified of spiders, could not touch one, used to capture in a glass and place outside. Since reading that they don't survive, I let them stay in their little hidey holes and pray they don't come into my line of vision much [ugh]

Its pointless telling kids something is 'wrong' or 'bad' or 'naughty', you have to spell it out to them.
''Animals are alive and can feel exactly the same as you can. You wouldn't like it if someone cut your legs off, dont do it to them.'
I seriously dont know why so many adults find this an impossible task, or dont get why its their responsibility to do it.

You're overreacting especially when it's not even your own child. I don't think it means the child will become a psychopath either, more likely a sign of intelligence that he wants to see what's inside them. I often squash spiders if they're indoors, especially if they're lurking on the ceiling above my bed, the big nutty ones make a loud crunch when you do it. I don't kill kittens, puppies or people though.

Animals are alive and can feel exactly the same as you can. You wouldn't like it if someone cut your legs off, dont do it to them.' I seriously dont know why so many adults find this an impossible task, or dont get why its their responsibility to do it

I would never tell a child that a spider can feel exactly the same as they can. It simply is not true, and I don't lie to children.