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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids shouldn't cut up spiders?

202 replies

sparklewater · 09/10/2017 19:14

That, really. A five year old I know was found cutting up a live spider.

AIBU to be absolutely horrified or am I totally over-reacting?

OP posts:
MrsMerryFestive · 09/10/2017 20:11

That is deeply troubling.

My DCs will quite happily swat a fly. But I see that as survival instinct. We let them walk their dog shitty feet all over our house, or they die. Them or us.

WhyDidIEatThat · 09/10/2017 20:14

Do people really think stamping on an animal is perfectly ok but cutting it up with scissors isn’t Confused

Passmethecrisps · 09/10/2017 20:27

I was always taught to be kind and compassionate towards animals. But weirdly at about 4 or 5 I picked the legs and wings off a daddy long legs. I remember vividly seeing one leg fall off on its own for some reason and just being overwhelmed with curiosity. I remember wondering why it didn't seem to be in pain.

I showed my mum this "poor legless, wingless daddy long legs" she went berserk and called me a cruel girl. I was stunned and very upset - both at her reaction and my behaviour.

So, I would be upset if I found my almost 5 year old doing this. And I would make sure she knew just why this was not ok. But I wouldn't think it indicative of long term problems. I now rescue spiders from the bath and absolutely ban any child in my class from stomping on the ants which come in or any other beast actually.

BakedBeans47 · 09/10/2017 20:31

Yuck. Not pleasant but at 5, less of a concern than if they were an older child.

MetalMidget · 09/10/2017 20:37

I remember my brother pulling the wings of a daddy long legs, cutting its body up then threading the bits onto a needle. He was quite a bit older (youngest he could have been was 8 or 9).

He is generally lovely, but he did grow into a Tory. (He was actually a pretty nice child too, I honestly don't know what came over him!)

FrogsLegs31 · 09/10/2017 20:41

Quite honestly I think it is part of learning to understand that animals are alive and how they work. The guidance they receive after being found doing it is the key thing

Original poster
sparklewater · 09/10/2017 21:18

She was at school - I'm not sure how they or her parents have reacted (yet, I'm finding out because I'm nosy!) but the person who told me didn't seem to think it was a big deal. I thought it very much was!

Child is not unaware of nature; lives rurally, has lots of pets, parents are vegetarian etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
sparklewater · 09/10/2017 22:03

Not sure what school did, but parents have just told her it was wrong. No punishment or consequence at all!

I'm judging.

OP posts:
GloGirl · 09/10/2017 22:09

I would do nothing else than talk it through with my child as well if it was when they were in someone else's care when it happened.

The kid is only 5.

MardyMatilda · 09/10/2017 22:11

Why are you so investing in another child or the parents parenting?
How do you even know all this?

RaininSummer · 09/10/2017 22:13

That is disgusting. I would want to chop their fingers off see how they liked it.

HateIsNotGood · 09/10/2017 22:15

OP wasn't there, so it's all apparently. Any more info (factual) info OP?

BertrandRussell · 09/10/2017 22:21

It's horrible. But I find the collective Mumsnet reaction to spiders horrible too- the "spray them with hairspray " stamp on them" turn the taps on and run them down the sink" stuff.

Hairyfairy01 · 09/10/2017 22:30

When my ds was 5 he went to school with a jam jar of caterpillars he had found in our garden (with leaves etc) for show and tell. During playtime another 5 year old took them off ds and ripped them apart with his bare hands.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/10/2017 22:35

That's shocking wicked twisted and evil. If he's doing this to innocent creatures at 5. I dread to think what he'll be doing to humans at 15.

newmumwithquestions · 09/10/2017 22:36

It's horrible. DD (nearly 3 at the time) deliberately stood on a snail. We gave her a lecture about it - She genuinely didn't seem to have worked it would hurt it. The next day she was outside looking for snails on the path and moving them to plants (then getting annoyed and telling them off if they fell off the plant).

A couple of weeks later she caught me triumphantly swatting a fly. It was pretty difficult to explain/justify! Blush

Original poster
sparklewater · 09/10/2017 22:37

hairy Shock horrible.

Factual - was with scissors, at school, more than one spider, child not in the least bothered by being found out, not been told off for it.

I'm invested because it's a child I know well and I think it's particularly concerning behaviour.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/10/2017 22:38

Oh it's a she

existentialmoment · 09/10/2017 22:38

It's a living being!

So are lots of things that we all kill without a thought

That is disgusting. I would want to chop their fingers off see how they liked it
You're disgusting. You sick bastard.

LineysRun · 09/10/2017 22:39

Revolting and worrying

Mittens1969 · 09/10/2017 22:42

Tbh, sometimes you have to kill insects. Anybody who knows about the devastation that mosquitos cause, especially in Africa, wouldn’t have any compunction about killing the horrible things. Millions die of malaria, we have a family friend that died of cerebral malaria years ago. So sometimes you just have to kill insects.

And if you know that you’re with someone who has an allergy to wasps, and one comes into the room, yes you’ll swat it.

I also have no compunction about swatting flies. They’re horrible, dirty things.

But killing spiders is unnecessary, especially in this country where they’re not dangerous. Just walk away or put it outside. It’s often me that does that, as my DDs are afraid of spiders.

And why do it in such a horrible way? No need at all.

yolofish · 09/10/2017 23:01

I agree that chopping up spiders with scissors is totally horrible. Oth, I found a nest of processionary caterpillars, the ones that cause horrible skin rashes, next to our garden table and I'm afraid I torched them with my weed gun/blow torch thingy, on the grounds that I react really badly to bugs, and thought the weed gun was quickest/most effective method. maybe that's really bad too...

WhyDidIEatThat · 09/10/2017 23:04

That’s a bit different tho, those things can kill dogs.

HateIsNotGood · 09/10/2017 23:06

Hmmm...yes this behaviour is a well-documented precursor to murderous psychopathy but there could also be loads of other reasons too. Some explicable and innocuous or some possibly an indicator of 'troubles' elsewhere.

As an 'invested' person in this child's life OP only you can add your 'context' so that we here can give a more informed opinion.

Ankleswingers · 09/10/2017 23:09

Just why?

That's very disturbing behaviour.

My 6 year old wouldn't even contemplate doing something like that. It wouldn't enter his head.

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