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Original poster

To think this customer assistant was trying to prove a point in front of everyone?

114 replies

evergreenwools · 09/10/2017 17:42

Disclaimer: I may very well be being unreasonable. I am very hormonal and heavily pregnant.

DS is 4 and a bloody pain in the arse lately. He is at nursery for 15 hours a week and it's not long enough and he is driving me mad around the house tbh. I'm knackered. Anyway...

Was in local supermarket (small one) and girl on till saw my son asking for gum, I said to DS that he can't have any (I don't trust him with it) and said to him that she won't scan it for you and when he said that she will, she just smiled at him. Not helpful really. He really plays up on good attention. I know that's not her problem though.

I paid for the other stuff and went to leave it was busy and just embarrassing. He opened the packet on the way out, I went to a self scan to pay for it so less attention and she looked over and I said that he had opened it to lessen the attention and judgment from her and others as I assume they assumed that I was giving in.

She said oh don't worry you don't need to buy it. Then everyone was looking at this point and was thinking how nice of her that was and then my son screamed on the floor because he thought he wasn't getting it so I ended up saying don't worry and bought it. She then very loudly went "oh okay" and didn't seem very happy Confused then the next person went over to her and said "she clearly just wanted to buy it for her son" and I bet they all spoke about me.

Fuming.

OP posts:
MytToeHurtsBetty · 09/10/2017 17:51

Nope don't get it.... she smiled at your misbehaving son then said not to worry when you were paying for the gum he opened.... ooooh what a beeeeaitch

Acadia · 09/10/2017 17:51

Also your 'naughty' brat ripped open sweets in a shop you had clearly stated you didn't want to buy (why was he holding them?) and a kind shop assistant said you did not need to pay for the damage.

She was kind.

You then yelled at her for her 'judgement'.

You are literally the bad guy of this story.

Gottagetmoving · 09/10/2017 17:52

You shouldn't worry about them talking about you. They don't know you from Adam...and they don't matter.
You were stressed...that's all so forget it.

kaytee87 · 09/10/2017 17:52

Right folks, I think we can lay off on calling a 4yo names. It doesn't make you big or clever.

Original poster
evergreenwools · 09/10/2017 17:53

Did anyone read the bit where I said I don't trust him with gum? I didn't give him gum. I bought it in the end so I could get out of the shop. Would rather him have a strop at home.

It was the very judgey "oh okay" which really was said in a very judgey age! She wasn't that old herself and definitely doesn't understand the struggles.

I'm clearly annoyed at the wrong person.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 09/10/2017 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2017 17:54

“Everyone spoke about you” and “you’re fuming”? No one gives a shit, it was one nice comment, end of:they’d have forgotten about you two seconds later.

You’re just embarrassed about your parenting and sons behaviour. No ones talking about you never mind “ everyone”.

Acadia · 09/10/2017 17:54

You didn't have to buy it. He damaged it and they let you off. She was trying to be understanding. Plenty of places would have insisted it had to be bought seeing as he'd rendered it unfit for sale. Maybe she does have a child and understands, which is why she did you a favour.

Original poster
evergreenwools · 09/10/2017 17:54

My 4 year old is a 'brat' how lovely... Blimey.

I never 'shouted' at her???

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 09/10/2017 17:55

So essentially you feel people in the supermarket judged you because you gave in to a tantrum and bought your 4 year old bubble gum? Is that what happened op?

Not really clear what the assistant is being accused of here???

TheSparrowhawk · 09/10/2017 17:55

She tried very hard to help you! No wonder she said 'Oh ok' I bet she was confused about why you just backed down like that.

spanieleyes · 09/10/2017 17:56

Right, so you bought some gum so you could NOT give it to your son Confused
Why didn't you just NOT buy it in the first place?

FuzzyCustard · 09/10/2017 17:56

What's her age got to do with anything?

JonnaSilvie · 09/10/2017 17:56

What does her age have to do with it Confused She was operating the till, he job description doesn't state that she should be trained in the pacification of small children.

Gosh, I used to hate working retail when I was a teenager and seeing grown adults saying to their kids, "The lady will tell you off." Tell your own kid off, grow some backbone!

JeReviens · 09/10/2017 17:56

Well you yourself call him a 'pain in the arse' OP. He does sound a bit bratty and you seem to be encouraging that by giving in to him and 'fuming' at everyone else.

EdmundCleverClogs · 09/10/2017 17:57

Don't blame 'hormones'. You dropped the ball today (as we all have and will again), however don't put it on this poor shop worker.

It's shit like this that makes me glad I no longer work in a shop. Damned if you do/don't Hmm.

Smidge001 · 09/10/2017 17:57

I think the assistant was being nice! Trying to help you out by saying you didn't have to buy it, so you wouldn't give in to the child.

For some reason though, rather than saying thank you to her and handing her the opened unsellable pack you decide to buy it in a huff.

The other customer - albeit none of their business - then spoke out loud (what everyone on here has said) in a shrugging manner that clearly you were happy to buy it for him in the first place.

I don't see why you're upset. (Pregnancy hormones notwithstanding).

TheSparrowhawk · 09/10/2017 17:57

If you say no, it's no, that's it. You don't 1) let the child hold the gum and then tear the pack or 2) then buy the bloody thing when he tears it!

Original poster
evergreenwools · 09/10/2017 17:57

Because he was laying on the floor. Normally I wouldn't care and just pick him up. I can not pick him up in this state.

I'm working on his behaviour, no need to be nasty about him or his behaviour. His nursery believe he may have additional needs.

I posted here clearly saying I might be being unreasonable. I admit I clearly was now. Was just venting a bit.

OP posts:
PatMullins · 09/10/2017 17:58

Hope it gets better OP Flowers

Clueless2017 · 09/10/2017 17:59

Of course you shouldn't give your ds gum but you shouldn't need strangers to back you up when you're refusing your ds something. It's not the assistant's job to parent your child.

MadMags · 09/10/2017 18:00

YWBU of course.

She literally did nothing wrong. Confused

It's not her fault you decided to pander to your child, and the world won't end because you pandered to your child.

All in all, a big, fat, non-issue.

TheSparrowhawk · 09/10/2017 18:00

Ok, fair enough. But the things to remember for the future are:

Don't rely on other people for discipline - it is not their job and you can't expect them to back you up.
When they do actually back you up (like this nice shop assistant did) thank them!
Don't worry about what other people think - it doesn't matter.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/10/2017 18:00

Life is fairly shit when you're pregnant with tantrumming kids.

The shop assistant didn't do anything wrong.

Forget it and move on.

upperlimit · 09/10/2017 18:00

Ok, the shop assistant sounds nice.

Your 4yo isn't a brat.

You are over-reacting. That's ok, too. Unless you do it all the time just call it a bad day and ignore it all.

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