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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask why some men are totally pathetic pests?

42 replies

SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 15:52

I'm in my 70s - disabled, home a lot and play an online game.

Was having a jokey conversation in guild chat and a player pm'd me and we had a private chat. He is 22 - we added each other to friend list and continued to have general conversation. Some time later, without warning he suddenly asks me some very personal questions which I answered truthfully. His response: 'OMG that is so hot, I may have to log off and wank'. I 'm speechless - he obviously doesn't care that I'm 50 years older than him as long as he can have a wank.

I was fishing - a player sidled up to me and uttered the immortal words ' wanna ERP?' (erotic role play). Forget hello my name is.... . I said I have some advice: before asking that you may want to talk to the person first. This was an alien concept so I explained that he would then discover, that the person may not be what he is looking for ie I am in my 70s or I could have been a bloke with a female character. I could feel the revulsion emanating from him as he ran faster than anyone I've seen in game.

Yesterday, met another player, he is 41 - general pleasant light hearted chat - perhaps, I thought because he is older. Then today he appears at my side while I am in the middle of the countryside and starts moving his character close up and pushing into mine. I take several steps back and he was shocked. Did I not want to get friendlier? No I didn't!

What the hell is going on? I thought my age would be a deterent. Have I just been really unlucky or are most of the male players arseholes desperate for a wank. Maybe they think I'm old enough to be desperate and wouldn't care if they used me as a wank sock. I'm not and I do! I was talking to a female player, she said she gets it too - she's in her 20s and is sick of it. I think my next character will be male.

And breathe.....

Any tips on how to repel these twats would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 15:53

Sorry that's far too long - won't. blame you not reading it

OP posts:
BoomBoomBoomBoooom · 08/10/2017 15:58

Because you are talking to online gamers rather than men in real life. A lot of them are slightly socially crap to begin with and theres not many women. Plus being behind a computer screen means they can be a lot more knobby than they would in real life.

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:03

You're right but I just want to enjoy pottering around the game in peace. Let's face it if any of them met a 70 something year old woman in RL, she would be pretty much invisible to them. A 22 year old is never going to wank over a 70 year old. One of my male friends who plays said my character is the ugliest he's ever seen, lol. But it's obviously no deterrent.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 08/10/2017 16:03

On a computer age is irrelevant especially in these life games these men don't give a hoot how old the real you is a wank is a wank really.

MrsJayy · 08/10/2017 16:04

Sorry i didn't mean to be so coarse Grin

Megabus · 08/10/2017 16:04

My 12 year old was hit on by a man yesterday...he was mid 20s, I reckon. Gross

NoKidsTwoCats · 08/10/2017 16:05

Think BoomBoomBoomBooom has nailed it! Unfortunately, having had experience of online gaming I don't think there's much you can do to stop it. Maybe just ignore and block anyone who sends unsolicited messages? Change your character to a male?

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:05

You're absolutely right - so depressing. Not coarse - realistic Smile

OP posts:
CaoNiMartacus · 08/10/2017 16:20

Women aren't safe anywhere. In real life. Online.

And now female-only spaces are being threatened. Wonderful.

MrsJayy · 08/10/2017 16:22

I think you Should either say OMG get away from me you weirdo OR sorry not interested the first one appeals to me most. I think these people reality is blurred it is how they get their kicks it is very odd and what the real person looks like age they are makes not a jot of difference.

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:27

I did think of a male character but it would take ages to level it up and to be honest, despite this being about as insignificant as you can get, with what's going on in the real world, this becomes one more thing women change/adapt because of men. So many women tie themselves in knots to please the men in their lives. I don't hate men, I have two as good friends but they would never behave in this way. It's like these men hit puberty and stopped developing.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:32

CaoNiMartacus

Yes, not to mention in female prisons where they now send male trans who have a history of sexual violence and still have their tackle. Sport where a women's race is won by 3 trans men, someone started a thread on here - their child's school have made loos unisex to accommodate what must be a miniscule number of trans children. It's the only place with sanitary products for sale and the boys routinely buy them and festoon the loos with them. There is no safe place for the girls to deal with what may be their first period. It's appalling.

OP posts:
dinosaursandtea · 08/10/2017 16:42

Oh, stop derailing the OP's thread with your transphobic nonsense.

CosmicPineapple · 08/10/2017 16:45

transphobic nonsense.

You band that word about like it means something.
It doesn't.
It is a word made up by men to keep women in line.
Stop using it.

YouTheCat · 08/10/2017 16:47

Is it WoW? I used to play. Met my dp playing.

However, the unsolicited nonsense is out of order. Nevermind being 70, what if you were 12? I'd report tbh.

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:48

This is my thread :P

Do women really think its perfectly ok for intact males with a history of sexual violence to be put in female prisons? I very much doubt it and you know where to put your accusation of transphobia.

OP posts:
PhelanGood · 08/10/2017 16:50

What wankers in every sense. Hiding behind their online personas to pester women. Probably think you'd be flattered that you're turning them on..ugh...ignore and block and thank goodness that most men are more respectful !

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:52

Hi YouTheCAT I used to play WoW - when I got bored playing it, the hardest thing was leaving all my many many pets behind Sad I now play Elder Scrolls Online.

Well obviously there are some decent men playing games - you've been lucky to find one Smile

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 08/10/2017 16:52

That would be 'transphobic nonsense' as in facts, I assume?

That kind of transphobic nonsense.

OP go right ahead!

MrsJayy · 08/10/2017 16:54

That has nothing to do with your thread though your game isn't a woman only space like a pp suggested this is about horny men bothering you on a game and how to deal with it. Not about transpeople I feel like i have missed pages of post 😕

Original poster
SilverySurfer · 08/10/2017 16:54

They are wankers in more ways than one Smile

Yes I refuse to be silenced by such bullshit.

OP posts:
IvorHughJars · 08/10/2017 16:56

Ugh, I've experienced this too. I love playing Scrabble online. Haven't done it for years because the harassment from dick males who'll suddenly start doing personal chat rather than playing, asking for personal details and, depending on the site, sending me unsolicited photos of their genitals Envy < not envy. I have a PS3 and 4 that I've never playing online for this reason. Have been advised to use male avatars but why should I?! That's like the digital equivalent of worrying about the length of my skirt and its associated 'permissions' Hmm

Sucks, op.

JemimaLovesHamble · 08/10/2017 16:57

Get a male avatar. I know it's crap though. Ever since I used my initials on YT instead of my full name I've had a much more pleasant experience because people just assume I'm male. No gross PMs and my opinions have magically become more interesting too!

DiegoMadonna · 08/10/2017 16:59

A 22 year old is never going to wank over a 70 year old

Lol I think you'd be surprised! There are whole sections of certain websites devoted to that kind of thing.

DiegoMadonna · 08/10/2017 17:00

But yeah, if you want to avoid unwanted attention from creepy loner gamer men, just use a male character/avatar/whatever from now on.