Delicate folks and less robust people

[ILikeyourHairyHands]

It's Saturday night and I've had a few beers so I guess I'm feeling a bit fighty, but only because this is something that's been bothering me for a while and it has been sparked by the 'Books you wished you'd never read' thread, a number of posters said they had thrown books away rather than subject people to the content.

And films people wished they'd never watched because they were traumatised.

But, and this is the big but, where I'm probably going to get a thrashing, there are often threads about abortion, where posters say you 'Will never get over it'.

And threads about miscarriage where people say, 'You will never get over it'.

And I completely respect their stance and experience, BUT, as someone who has had both miscarriages and abortions I found them both very easy to get over and put behind me, and I think the telling women that they Won't, can make things much harder for people.

If they do, they may feel guilt, or it may make women feel they can't have an abortion because they will always feel conflict.

I guess my point is, everyone responds to things differently, you can't go round chucking books away because you found them distasteful, you can't council a woman who has had a miscarriage she will never get over it and you can't advise against an abortion because it 'will affect you forever'.

And yes, it is a goady title but I'm a little bit irritated about absolutism when it comes down to women, choice, and mental health.

It's ok to be ok.

Yy to everyone who has pointed out that for many of us, resilience is very much learned, and not the result of a previously wonderful life. And I don't know how anyone can think otherwise. Does anyone seriously think that street kids in underdeveloped countries are a hell of a lot tougher than our dc because they have only experienced security before?

noonoo that very much depends on who, and how much. People should always be sympathetic and compassionate, but at the same time might not be able to act upon it.

I believe the cut off point is when it is heading the way of being detrimental to the person who is being depended on. And that will always vary. Dependent children should never have to be the mentally strong one for their parent. Whereas a partner should be up to the point they are mentally struggling. Friends and acquaintances are harder. When people need support they usually turn to those they perceive as strong and dependable, which is fine if they are able to take on that role. But ime many strong people previously/ currently have their own problems, and therefore can't support someone else's. And I also think it's dangerous to pigeonhole none professionals into the role of supporter, because the side effect is that they could feel they have to stay strong for everyone else.