To not want to move my wedding?

[MaderiaCycle]

Our wedding celebration is booked (and paid for) for 31st March 2018. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and due on 10th April. We are having the legal ceremony with immediate family in November but lots of people (usually distant friends) are telling us to postpone the celebration as I won’t be able to dance (we are having a ceilidh). Weddings are so stressful to organise and it feels like 31st March is done. AIBU to keep to the original date or am I mad for thinking of having a big party 2 weeks before my due date?

I got married at 37 weeks and couldn't have been better. No wedding diet, I can remember the whole day and night and no hangover! We had a designated driver in case anything happened on the day. Maybe we were lucky, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Do you want it to be a special day that you can enjoy? If yes, then move it. Or plan for a sofa, cake and nap themed wedding just a short waddle from a toilet only you are allowed to use.

It must be gutting to think about moving it after all your time and emotional energy has gone into this day. But you'll be ok. It's not like you're cancelling it; just moving it; so you can still keep all the people and themes, food, locations, arrangements you've spent so long getting perfect.

At 38 weeks for me, the head had engaged and so i could only waddle, not walk. Sitting down for any length of time was really uncomfortable. Lying down with a body pillow was heaven!
I had raging heart burn if anything, even a sip of water passed my lips after 6pm and the most important thing in my bag was Gaviscon.
I'd fall asleep at the drop of a hat and I just felt a bit knackered. And i felt enormous, like an whale.
I had very healthy pregnancies, no complications, not much extra weight gain and I gave birth at 41 weeks with my first and 42 weeks with my second.
I know it's not what you are wanting to hear but if you are wanting to enjoy your party move the date!!!

I was in hospital with pre-eclampsia with my 1st at 32 weeks. I had premature labour with my 3rd at 30 weeks brought on by norovirus and 4 days on labour ward on a drip to stop contractions. I couldn't even put my shoes on by 38 weeks let alone dance at a party. You won't enjoy it the same, why waste the time and money for something you could potentially miss....... book it for when your baby is 3/4 months old and you'll have a ball.

My second child was 2 weeks early and was in hospital a bit beforehand. It’s a big risk.

YANBU to not want to move it. But you YABVU not to get over that and just move it. For all the reasons already pointed out.

Even if you are fine (although proper ceilidh dancing is rough enough even when not pregnant) if I were you I wouldn't enjoy any of the anticipation of the event not knowing if I might have to miss it or not be able to fully participate.

I would do it sooner. What's the point in having a 'wedding' when the couple have already been married for ages and had a child in the meantime. Plus, then you won't have to manage a baby at your own wedding.

Also, surely the risk of the waste of money of the whole event if you can't go must be a lot more than the costs of date changing. I'm curious, why can you only have the events in Novembers 17/18 or March? Is it venue availability?

Yeah, got to agree, you need to move it.

I got married at 19w pg - halfway through dancing to Tigerfeet (yes, I like it) I had to stop and sit down as things started to feel a bit "weird". That was the end of my dancing for the evening!
Even if your baby doesn't come around the date of your celebration party, you're not going to be able to do much dancing, which would be a shame. And there's a good chance that the baby will disrupt your celebration anyway.

So either move the celebration to your wedding date in November this year, or to another appropriate date for everyone to come (you seem to only have November and March as options). But I think I'd try to move it all to this November.

Vvv tight. Baby could come early, you might be in hospital. Id move it. Its too risky as could be a wedding without a bride as sods law you go into labour that day

I eve got beyond 37 weeks with mine first 37 weeks second 35 weeks so your dates stress me out!

I thought I'd be fine working up to the week before my dd with DS1 as it was my first baby and everybody told me they come late...
Ha my waters broke quite spectacularly at 36+2 and I spent 4 days in rather painful labour before having an emergency section,
Had to phone work and apologise that I wasn't going to make it in as I was having a baby. I was supposed to be at a meeting on a building site.
DS2 turned up at 37 weeks too but I was more prepared that time but was struggling at the end due to GD, polyhydramnios & extremely painful hips

I wouldn't make big expensive plans this far in advance because a) baby's work to their own timetables and don't care what yours are,
And b) you have no idea how you will feel at the end of pregnancy, you may feel great, you will probably feel a bit tired,but you may also feel shit or have an issue that means you won't want to celebrate or can't join in as much as you'd like.

My SIL got married at 7mths pregnant (small family official do) but then had the 'wedding' party when her baby was 9mths old - it worked well and everyone got to enjoy themselves including her

It's a very naive, first time mum thing to do I'm afraid. A small percentage of people feel fine then, most people vary between 'pretty uncomfortable' and not really able to move. You can't imagine those last few weeks when you wake up all the time to wee and with pain in your hips and back, and how it feels to walk with what feels like a bowling ball between your legs etc. As others have said, you may even have the baby by then and in that case a small percentage will be fine to bring the baby but most will be bleeding, stitched, leaking milk, crying for no reason, waddling, exhausted etc!

It's a magical time.

I had to attend a family member's funeral when DS1 was about 11 days old (and stupidly got talked into doing the reading by my grieving relative). It was awful - I had about an hour's uninterrupted sleep the night before as DS1 was cluster feeding, I was post-EMCS with horrendous lochia, my pelvis (SPD) was still excruciatingly painful and I was very sad about the bereavement. I made it through the reading, but the stress of all that responsibility when I just wanted to call up in a ball and weep was awful. Having to be public and show off SS1/put my game face on was pretty draining. The thing about funerals is that you can't put them off, but a party can be easily moved.

If DC arrives 'on time' you will, at your party, possibly still be wadded in huge maternity pads for the worst period of your life, have boobs spraying everyone as you fling yourself round (and god forbid anyone bumps them because the pain will make you murderous). More likely though, baby will be late and you'll be even bloodier and milkier. Personally I couldn't have coped with a ceilidh when either of mine were 2 weeks old. YANBU to not want to change but realistically you need to be kind to yourself.

I'm all for carrying on as normal as possible during pregnancy but I really think you should move the wedding!!!

I would definitely move it.

Oh my god, move it. This is clearly your first baby, right? If so, you don't know what it's like to be either heavily pregnant/in labour/looking after a newborn. It's going to be one of those 3 scenarios. All 3 are tough.

I got married at 19w pg - halfway through dancing to Tigerfeet (yes, I like it) I had to stop and sit down as things started to feel a bit "weird". That was the end of my dancing for the evening!

I was doing the twist at 38/52. I also felt weird and had to sit down.

OP, I agree with PP, move it to November 2018 if you can't have it on your actual wedding day. Join it with a marriage blessing or a christening/naming ceremony for your new baby.