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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to move my wedding?

117 replies

MaderiaCycle · 06/10/2017 17:14

Our wedding celebration is booked (and paid for) for 31st March 2018. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and due on 10th April. We are having the legal ceremony with immediate family in November but lots of people (usually distant friends) are telling us to postpone the celebration as I won’t be able to dance (we are having a ceilidh). Weddings are so stressful to organise and it feels like 31st March is done. AIBU to keep to the original date or am I mad for thinking of having a big party 2 weeks before my due date?

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 07/10/2017 07:49

I was also really antisocial towards the end of my pregnancy and wanted to stay at home and best.

Bluebelltulip · 07/10/2017 08:16

I got married at 35 wks (all planned before I found out about baby) it was doable but I would not recommend it. I was shattered and stressed from worrying about baby and wedding. Didn't help that I was a premature baby. My dc eventually arrived just before I was I booked to be induced.

sandgrown · 07/10/2017 08:21

I was dancing at a party two days after my due date and I am sure it made for a quick and easy labour. As it is your own party I think I would move it forward just in case baby is early.

thegirlupnorth · 07/10/2017 08:26

I think it'll cause more stress as nearer your due date you may become anxious about the party. I'd move it, babies never come according to plan.

seven201 · 07/10/2017 08:31

I was signed off work from 34 weeks and felt like death until the baby was c-sectioned out at 39 weeks. A colleague went on maternity leave at 37 weeks and had the baby the next day - it was her first. If I were you I'd move the party date.

Justanothernameonthepage · 07/10/2017 08:33

If you'd be happy missing it due to baby arriving earlier/pregnancy complications or having to sit out the dancing due to physically being unable then go ahead. If you really want to dance or be there then reschedule. Perhaps on the anniversary of the actual marriage?

KrytensNanobots · 07/10/2017 08:41

So it's not your wedding at all, it's a party several months after.
Confused
Definitely move it, very real possibility you could have a new born baby or be very close to giving birth to one possibly at the party

Usernamechecksout · 07/10/2017 08:51

Even if you haven't had the baby yet and your pregnancy progresses as normal, those last four weeks are the worst. You'll feel so uncomfortable and most likely not in the mood for a party at all! Plus, in my case, mine came two weeks early. So be prepared there's a big chance you'll not be able to attend the party or at least enjoy it!

FloraAnnie · 07/10/2017 08:54

I have heard of a wedding, many years ago, at which the groom danced the first dance with the bride's sister instead of the bride, because the very pregnant bride was having very strong Braxton Hicks. Except they weren't Braxton Hicks! Bride and groom had to leave. The party was still going strong without them when the baby was born and the wedding guests were able to "wet the baby's head." It's wedding which is still being talked about years later!

TammySwansonTwo · 07/10/2017 08:57

10 days before your due date, so already a couple of weeks into being full term? You are definitely unwise to plan it that way in my opinion! I had to have my twins five weeks early. For weeks previous I could barely move, was in constant pain, swollen, miserable. My twins were only 8lb combined so it's not like I was well ahead of one baby. Met plenty of singleton mums in hospital who had their baby earlier than I did. For something like this I wouldn't risk it. Surely if you try to reschedule it now you shouldn't lose out much - as long as the venue and suppliers are free on a different date they should move it to without any trouble.

Joinourclub · 07/10/2017 08:58

I'd be happy to plan to go to a wedding two weeks before my due date, but plan my own? No way! With my first I was so bloody enormous no way could I have danced, or sat for too long on anything other than a sofa. With my second I was in hospital at that point.

Flyingbellycopters · 07/10/2017 08:59

I think you should also think of those people you say are coming from a distance. They’re clearly worried they’ll book transport/accommodation and you have to cancel or they do it and you and partner aren’t there.
You’re putting lot on them to take chance on that.

And also agree with most saying to postpone. One pregnancy I had was easy and whilst don’t think I could ceilidh I could have had couple dances. Another I was very uncomfortable with big baby and couldn’t face anything.

IshouldntcareaboutthisbutIdo · 07/10/2017 09:02

Congratulations on wedding and baby! I would def move the party - it sounds so stressful to have that going on so close to due date and you have no idea whether you will be a mum or a v pregnant fat-ankled tired person (me) or a v pregnant happy person looking gorgeous. I'd get on with the whole thing all in one

stripysleeves · 07/10/2017 09:03

It's MUCH less stressful yo reorganise your wedding celebration 5 months in advance, for you and your guests, than at 1 week's notice because your baby has come early and you're recovering from an emergency c-section.

Please don't risk doing that to yourself!

Or to your guests.

Plus if you are pregnant you may be feeign VERY uncomfortable then. At 38 weeks, I had constant heartburn, SPD so it hurt to walk, I had to pee ALL THE TIME, but it was painflu to walk (or, waddle, more accurately) to the toiket and I ws shattered.

The last think I would have wanted at that point was to host a party for my friends and family.

It's a REALLY bad idea.

stripysleeves · 07/10/2017 09:04

Sorry for typos Sad

Oysterbabe · 07/10/2017 09:08

My first arrived 5 weeks early and was in special care. Once discharged she was an incredibly high needs and difficult baby for several months.
Plenty of people deliver early, either naturally or induced because of GD, poor growth, choleostasis or many other reasons. I'd move it either back or forward a few months.

PrimalLass · 07/10/2017 09:09

I felt horrible in the last two weeks. Nothing fitted, I was sore and getting anxious about birth. You should really consider moving it.

SoPassRemarkable · 07/10/2017 09:11

You could be in labour two weeks before your due date. Or have a one day old baby.

readyforno2 · 07/10/2017 09:11

My ds1 came at 37 weeks.

Have the party around your 1st wedding anniversary, so November 2018.

RatRolyPoly · 07/10/2017 09:12

Rearrange! You'll be glad you did.

Of course sod's law says the second you rearrange you'll find yourself with a care pregnancy where you're still dancing the night away when you're two weeks overdue, but just imagine the alternative!

RatRolyPoly · 07/10/2017 09:13

A CAREFREE pregnancy I mean.

cestlavielife · 07/10/2017 09:13

If you don't mind the risk that you won't be able to attend the party Or will be only able to sit then keep the date.
They can party without you?

OriginalRhubarbGin · 07/10/2017 09:16

I also think you're cutting it fine. My first baby was 2.5 weeks early. By all means go ahead but be very sure what your plans are if you're in labour on the day, or have a three or four day old baby, blood still flooding due to lochia, and boobs that feel like granite as your milk comes in...

Personally I'd either move forward a month or back two months, or stick with your Nov 18 option.

Parker231 · 07/10/2017 09:18

Why aren’t you having the party element of your wedding at the same time as the ceremony?

TheFirstMrsDV · 07/10/2017 09:32

You probably feel great at this stage in your pregnancy.
A lot of women in the second trimester feel like they can take on the world.
But a hell of a lot of women at 38 weeks feel like they will cry if they have to get off the sofa and the thought of dressing up for someone else's party would bring on a breakdown. Let alone one where they are the guest of honour.

People are advising you to move it though kindness.

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