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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to move my wedding?

117 replies

MaderiaCycle · 06/10/2017 17:14

Our wedding celebration is booked (and paid for) for 31st March 2018. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and due on 10th April. We are having the legal ceremony with immediate family in November but lots of people (usually distant friends) are telling us to postpone the celebration as I won’t be able to dance (we are having a ceilidh). Weddings are so stressful to organise and it feels like 31st March is done. AIBU to keep to the original date or am I mad for thinking of having a big party 2 weeks before my due date?

OP posts:
CottonSock · 06/10/2017 18:05

I went to a wedding at 36 weeks. I was in tears with exhaustion by evening. Luckily I had cancelled being bridesmaid. Chanfe the date!

babybarrister · 06/10/2017 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PotteringAlong · 06/10/2017 18:12

Have it in November 2018 as a first wedding anniversary party.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 06/10/2017 18:15

I'd accept an invitation as an ordinary guest at 38 weeks but I wouldn't be willing to have a key role. Shift it to November. Book a nice, cancellable meal out on the April date.

Today 18:03 Goshthatwentwell
I was fine and only had a small bump. Painted the whole house three weeks before mine was due. But I was young, in good health and sort of knew straight away I'd be fine. If you are stressy or emotional by nature I would move it. Two life events in two weeks is a bit much.

This sounds unrealistic to me. I was fine until about 34 weeks when I unexpectedly developed pre eclampsia. I don't think you "know" how it'll be. You hope to get lucky.

unfortunateevents · 06/10/2017 18:17

If you think organising a wedding (not a wedding, a party) is so stressful, imagine how stressful it will be, and expensive, to cancel it at 12 hours notice when you go into labour on the day!

NotEnglish · 06/10/2017 18:21

Sorry, but 10 days before your due date?
Never mind if you can dance or not, there is a realistic possibility that you will have a newborn baby!

Both of mine were not premature but were born well before the due date, so yeah, I'd definitely move it if you want to be part of the party.

Sweetnessishere · 06/10/2017 18:30

I went to my graduation ceremony on my due date with DC1, however there was no pressure if I didn't attend and I wasn't the focus of attention all day.

I was quite fit all the way through that pregnancy and work up to 38 weeks, I still wouldn't have wanted to be planning my wedding party.

With DC2, I could barely move at 38 weeks

jaseyraex · 06/10/2017 18:36

I'd move the party myself. It's not about being unable to dance but quite frankly, you have no idea how you'll be by that time. You could take ill or baby might come early. 10 days before your due date, there's a very high possibility you could have a new born baby! I wouldn't want to take the chance of not being able to be at my own celebration that I've paid for.

tealandteal · 06/10/2017 18:39

I went to a wedding at 28 weeks pregnant and was so tired and hot by the first dance I cried and we went straight home! I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and was painting the hall on my mat leave at 39 weeks but the day of the wedding was just so very tiring and it wasn't even mine! I would reschedule if you can.

Mrsyorkie · 06/10/2017 18:41

I got married on the 25th June and had my baby on the 24th July. Wouldn't have changed one thing it was amazing.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 06/10/2017 18:47

I would move it. People will understand why! A 1st anniversary party sounds lovely.

Honeycombcrunch · 06/10/2017 18:50

You need to change the date. It's a much better plan to have the party in November 2018.

Haint · 06/10/2017 18:58

No baby in the history of my large family had ever come early. Nor my husbands sizeable family.

First babies are very often late

I was totally chilled, I had weeks to go. I hadn’t bought anything. I was at a conference. Had an important project to deliver the following week. It was all fine, I felt totally normal and well. I was totally normal and well.

DS came three, nearly four weeks early.

Roomster101 · 06/10/2017 19:00

You should change the date as the wedding as otherwise you might give birth on the wedding day. Even if the baby doesn't arrive until after the due date you might find being heavily pregnant very uncomfortable.

littlechou · 06/10/2017 19:29

Eeeek

My first was two weeks early.

Why are the dates so restrictive? Only March or November 2018??

fatfingeredfran · 06/10/2017 19:50

Would you consider having a joint celebration once your DC has arrived? E.g. Combining a wedding celebration for you with a christening or naming ceremony for the baby? Could be lovely and would be less stressful. Xx

Allthewaves · 06/10/2017 19:54

Id move the date. You don't know how the pregnancy is going to progress - worse case you could end up in bed rest or staying in hospital or baby could be early

Stressalot42 · 06/10/2017 20:00

100% uabu so I’d forget it!

Sooooooooooooooooooooo · 06/10/2017 20:09

My first was two weeks early. There is no way I could have danced at 38 weeks pregnant.

Why can't you just hold the whole thing in November.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 06/10/2017 21:11

My first was 2.5 weeks early and although I'd have attended a party at that point, I wouldn't have wanted to be full term at my own wedding party. I'd want to be able to walk around all night chatting to friends/family, dance, and generally have a great night. Not impossible at 38 weeks pregnant but luck will play a big part.

I'd move it to Nov 2018 and have it as a first wedding anniversary party instead.

TakeMe2Insanity · 06/10/2017 21:18

My child was born via c section at 37 weeks no way on earth I would have made it to a party afterwards I could hardly walk. Strange things happen even when everything goes right. Change the date.

TakeMe2Insanity · 06/10/2017 21:20

The other advantage of Nov 2018, you'll have a baby but you'll have probably already left him/her with baby sitters. If the party is in March it will be emotional leaving the baby or hard work taking him around.

MsPassepartout · 06/10/2017 21:39

I have 3 DC and all of them were born before 38 weeks.

You might be absolutely fine and willing and capable of hosting a ceilidh 10 days before your due date, although I can't imagine it likely you'll feel much like doing vigorous dancing when heavily pregnant.

But there's a not insignificant chance that you'll either be in hospital (labour / recovering from birth / other pregnancy complication), or dealing with a tiny newborn at 10 days before your due date.

I would seriously consider rescheduling the ceilidh or at the very least have a plan for what you're going to do if turns out that you can't go to your own ceilidh.

Silvercatowner · 07/10/2017 07:15

You can argue and argue and argue about how much trouble you've gone to make the arrangements and how the timings suit the rest of the family - fact is you may not be there! If you are OK with that then all fine. Only you can make that decision, the Mumsnet collective isn't psychic.

kaytee87 · 07/10/2017 07:47

God I could barely walk 2 weeks before my due date, in pain most of the time and hadn't slept properly in months.

What if the baby is 2 or 3 weeks early? 37 weeks is full term.

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