Parents who think rules don't apply to them

[mintinbox]

Just went to the harvest festival assembly at primary school where my kid was performing. The whole school was.

Announcement at the beginning no photographs or filming please turn your phone off.

Smug bitch in the second row filming the whole thing on her phone. A woman in front of her was caught taking a photograph and told not to by a member of staff (not made to delete it though) and said "oh I didn't know" of course you knew.

I have reasons for my child to be on social media with her school name attached and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the country who feels this way either.

Of course I didn't say anything to the filming mother as my child could be in a class with hers for years and so frictions are best avoided

I'm absolutely raging though.

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

My dd would have been one of the children who couldn't be filmed. I do have videos because it was pre social media so it wasn't an issue . No one else has ever watched the videos and probably no one, bar dd herself, would want to. I haven't even thought about them for years.

It just isn't worth the risk nowadays. Keeping children safe has to be the priority, I can't believe people are even arguing it. Take videos of your child practicing at home if you must, granny will be equally as bored watching.

I do have an understanding. It's health and safety gone mad. Personally I couldn't give two hoots of another parent catches my ds on film whilst filming their own child at our school play. My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and is just as "at risk" as all children are

I am going to use really tiny words here as you're struggling with the most basic of concept.

You don't mind if your child is filmed as they're not at risk. With me so far?

We have a child that if certain people find out where they are their life is at risk. So a pic, together with a school name mentioned or a polo shirt on view with a logo could be fatal.

If you think protecting a child's life is "health and safety gone mad" you're a special kind of stupid.

...just pull your child out of the play...

Can I ask the people who,have said this to consider one thing.

Children whose safety would be threatened if pictures of them got out on social media will often have had a pretty rough life already - fleeing domestic violence, removed from their birth parents, etc etc - they need and deserve to be part of normal things, like the school play. I don't think it is at all fair to suggest that children who have already had it tough enough should miss out on something special and fun like being in the school show, so that parents can film their child. Would your conscience be OK with upsetting a child, who has already faced too many challenges, just so you can get a film or photo?

And whilst I believe wholeheartedly that most, if not all people on here would be careful with any footage they shot or photos they took, not everyone will be that thoughtful, and it would be difficult for schools to allow responsible parents to film, whilst banning the irresponsible ones - how would they differentiate?

I know some schools allow filming/photos, with the caveat that nothing goes on social media, but it may well be that these schools do not currently have any vulnerable children, whose photos cannot be shared, on roll.

Doseydoe, your child is clearly not as at risk as all children. I'm not a paranoid parent - I believe it's good for children to take reasonable risks, and to learn how to deal with those around them. I don't turn a hair at naked children on beaches (including my own). And I don't give two hoots if my birth child accidentally ends up on someone's FB feed.

For my adopted child, it's different.

Let me give you an example: your child is adopted, you are two towns over from their birth family and it is quite possible that you know people in common. Your child was placed with you a year ago, aged 5, so still easily recognisable. You know that the birth family is trawling school websites etc trying to track down your child. They have made threats against you. They have harmed your child. Do you not see that that child is facing real risks? Would you really insist on your right to film the show - knowing that if you do, others will too, and you can't know that they are making good use of privacy settings?

'smug bitch'? Nice.

Dosey? Or Dozy?

Or fuckwitted selfish idiot with no more sense than a wood louse?

Doseydoe
My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and is just as "at risk" as all children are.
BOLLOCKS
Some kids are at risk of physical harm by family members who are not allowed to know their current names
one picture could put them in mortal danger

C8H
Not to mention that removing a vulnerable child advertises the fact that they are in the vulnerable category to people who have no need to know.
Not if its done properly .......
120 kids troop of the stage at the end of the show
118 troop back on for pictures
every parent is only looking at their own child

nobody ever cottoned on - I knew because I was a friend of the family

My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and is just as "at risk" as all children are.

And the prize for the single most stupid thing said on this thread goes to......

I do have an understanding. It's health and safety gone mad. Personally I couldn't give two hoots of another parent catches my ds on film whilst filming their own child at our school play. My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and is just as "at risk" as all children are.

No you clearly don't have an understanding. There are many examples in this thread of how some children are at risk, as well as many other ways. Unless your children are at risk of extreme violence or death from a relative or known person, and are in hiding, then your children are not just as "at risk"

My exmil years ago had the ow's phone number but not her surname. She trawled through the back phone book for South London . She found her, got her address and turned up there. It took her weeks. Some people really are that determined.

Unfortunately, there are selfish parents. My daughter have peanut butter allergy and do need an epi-pen (she developed hives and even threw up, and her blood test kept getting higher and higher for peanut allergy so there is a high chance of life threatening death for her. But the school still serve peanut butter sandwiches to kids and parents still pack peanut butter. Not caring the world that my daughter could die. All I can hope is the school nurse and her teacher will catch it fast if she ever got to that point

Dosey. must be a GF -surely no-one can be that ignorant and selfish

And I seen arguments that peanut allergy kids should be homeschooled (I am deaf with poor grammar skill so I am the least qualified person to homeschool)

My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and +is just as "at risk" as all children are*

Dozydoe wow, you are something else entirely. Not true at all. There are children at risk, luckily your child is not one of them.

Have read most of the thread so flame me if this has already been said.

You need to calm down but go to the school and explain the problem. Ask them for their safeguarding policies. Point out people ignored the announcement at the beginning of harvest festival and ask what they'll do about it now and in the future.

I think it is obvious children need to be protected from just popping up on someone else's FB or whatsapp site. Some very much more than others including their whole families because of violence/reallocation issues. Some just because they don't their child filmed.

It is hugely sad for those who want photos of their child and to film them being the Octopus/Virgin Mary/Elephant/Shepherd or carrying their basket in to church for the Harvest Festival. Schools could think about this a bit more and try to see what they can do to satisfy both parties. They do for broadcast journalists but that usually means the children at risk are left out/put on one side/blobbed out.

How would you feel if someone said you, my child looks exactly like your child - did you know my child's birth parents want to kill my child? How would you feel about your child's photograph being online with identifying details (school logo etc)? Can you smell the adrenaline yet?

How people are unable to to get that
YOUR DREAMT UP RIGHT TO CAPTURE YOUR CHILD ON FILM IN A PLACE WHERE THE RULEW PROHIBITS IT DO NOT TRUMP THE ACTUAL RULES OF A CHILD WHO IS IN DANGER OF ACTUAL ABUSE OR DEATH.
If you still want to film the school nativity when someone has told you that you are a potential cause of child abuse then you should be banned from the premises.

Definitely some purposeful goading going on, either that or examples of despicable attitudes.

I've seen a school go into lock down, when the violent parents of a looked after child tracked them down. They turned up at the school, police had to be called to take them away. The children had to be relocated again. From what I recall it was some muppet took photos of sports day and published them online - despite numerous emails to say no photos apart from official ones allowed.

The requests and rules are there for a reason. To not abide by them isn't just petty or "entitled", it's bloody stupid and dangerous.

Gosh I'm really shocked at this thread.

I haven't worked in education for very long but I can think of three children i have worked with off the top of my head who could not, for fears over their safety be filmed in plays. We had to be really careful even with photos in the classroom for our own website. The threat was very real. Perhaps until you've been involved you just don't get it. When you've needed to rehearse a "panic plan" for when a dangerous individual turns up...it tends to hit home.

Most people can be sensible and follow rules like "no uploading to social media" but we all know that quite a few people can't. We all remember "Starwars Kid" right? It is so so easy for things to get out of your control.

So many typos but you get it.
My life was ruined by the 1993 version of this.

I work in women's refuge so with women and children fleeing violent (ex)partners
In some of these cases, the level of violence and stalking is so extreme that their is no doubt that if the woman (and possibly child/ren) are found, they will be killed

That's why schools ask for videos not to be uploaded to social media - it may be so important to you to see your kid dressed up as a camel on stage for 30 seconds but actually the kid playing the camel next to yours, well you don't know what danger you could be doing there

And those children are already having a shit enough life, without having to lose out on being in the school play, just so another parent can film their child being the camel.

What was "Starwars kid"?
Was it a child harmed by being identified?

I can't believe the entitled parenting on this thread, can really not give a shit about children that can't be identified.
Who cares if you want a picture /film of your kid? We all managed really well before the ability to record every fart they do, you're a bit pathetic really.

Also to be fair to schools...

Some people are just complete idiots with social media. I've seen huge rows in the playground over "she's telling my personal business"...well you post your every waking thought on Facebook you twit!

I wouldn't blame a school for banning parents from filming stuff simply because they can't be dealing with any fallout.

Definitely some purposeful goading going on, either that or examples of despicable attitudes

I really hope they are goading because the alternative is petrifying

Great post and points cheese

There really are some vile people posting, I only hope for their DC sake they are just GF as who'd want a parent with that appalling attitude. They must be GF as it is hard to imagine that anyone is genuinely that thick that they cannot understand why the rules are in place.