Harvey Weinstein

[caperberries]

Rumours have been circulating about this disgusting man and his sleazy casting couch for years... He has offered a half-hearted apology, but seems rather smug about the fact that his family are supporting him.

AIBU to think his wife is misguided? What sort of example is she setting to her daughter? After all, this isn't a one-off - it is a pattern of serious abuse of women over decades.

www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html

Where’s the link each? In the statement she doesn’t say at all that she ‘never went hear him again’ after the hotel incident.

Really appreciate that, another, you're very nice!

Feels like a different life now, but you're right, the HW stuff does bring it back. Obviously it's not as bad as the things I know many others have experienced.

I do sometimes wonder if my general uptightness about sex, despite having a lovely and understanding DH, is anything to do with that incident, as it was pretty much the first sexual contact I ever had. I'd only snogged maybe 2 boys before that. I was very naive.

I guess for me my main thing, in the long run, is going to be doing everything I can to ensure that the risk of this happening to my DD is as low as it can posisbly be. I need her to be informed about how to consent, how not to consent, how to step away from a situation that makes her uncomfortable, to know that it is OK to step away, all of that stuff.

Thank you though. Can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words.

Jessi that’s so brave of you to talk about this here, it’s so hard to talk about this stuff.

Re Oliver Stone, I think he’s defending HW because he may well have done similar stuff too ( seen stuff about him on Twitter), I’m sure now the floodgates have been opened there’s lots more pp who will come forward...

Heads starting to roll...?

www.standard.co.uk/news/world/amazon-studios-chief-roy-price-suspended-amid-sexual-harassment-claims-hours-after-actress-said-firm-a3657561.html

I'm sorry you went through that Jessi, I'm so sorry for every woman/girl that is subjected to such awful treatment

What an awful ordeal Jessi. I think you are very brave.

Oliver Stone, here we go...

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4976186/amp/Playboy-Playmate-accuses-Oliver-Stone-groping-breast.html

Really appreciate the nice words Cavemum, cowgirls, Inigo, thank you.

Not at all brave, sadly, as can only (and will only) ever talk about it in anonymous way on here.

Also, while if I heard about that exact thing happening to someone else, I'd say too, like you cowgirls, it sounded an 'awful ordeal' it's impossible to connect those words to the experience I actually had. As I say, the whole fact I got dressed up in sexy mini-dress and heels and went to the party wanting to flirt, snog etc, and then got drunk, and then found myself in the position of going up the stairs without - I don't know - refusing or something... knowing, logically, that none of those things mean he should have done what he did, and that I'd be murderous if anyone did the same to my DD or a close friend, I still can't quite connect the fact that it was so wrong.

Again, I can totally see why so many women stay silent as it is hard, almost impossible maybe, to totally truly believe you weren't partially responsible.

another thanks for posting that story. We have to hope and pray that these assaults actually start to be taken seriously so women feel confident about reporting.

Maybe every company should by law, have a dedicated member of staff/team to deal with sexual harassment. I know they all have HR dept but they should have specially trained people dealing with this.

Jessi I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. This is totally not your fault and is technically not just assault but oral rape. By your language it's clear that you still blame yourself deep down inside (I'm naive, I'm ashamed, etc) Have you considered counselling? It's making an immense difference to me. Just talking about it will help take away some of your pain. You might be surprised with how kind your DH might be - most of the men I told were more supportive and and kind than the women were. (One "friend" basically said she was glad it had happened to me and not her as she wouldn't have been able to handle it )

I think there is this idea with women (and we saw it below with comments like "I'm lucky" and Glad I had my wits about me or whatever it was) that if we're "good girls" then bad things can't/won't happen to us. So when it happens to someone they know, their minds can't handle the idea of it can happen to us then it can happen to them. Thats when the "what were you wearing/why did you drink that much/you must've wanted" it BS comes in. If the victim did absolutely nothing wrong then this could also happen to you and I think that rocks a lot of people's reality.

To the pps who discussed oral testimony & CPS. Oral testimony is only valid when there is significant other evidence or other (multiple) oral testimony backing the victim up. Because of the nature of sexual assault, it is usually only the victim and the perpetrator present. Most rape cases are He said/She Said and get nowhere. I didn't want to go to the police because I knew it would come down to my word against his (innocent until proven guilty) and even with other evidence the CPS only takes on cases which are slam dunks. Whilst I'm thrilled that whoever made a complaint here will have the "best of CPS" working on their case - in some ways I'd rather they just had the normal CPS the rest of us have to deal with so it could highlight how absolutely shit the experience is. At one point I had to say to my (female) liason officer "I know this is just another day at work for you, but this is one of the worst days of my life and I'd like you to keep that in mind please." She later admitted that with a case load of 28 sexual assaults (one officer) that she had forgotten how us victims must be feeling in the process.

Jessi - I totally understand

It is such a head fuck the way we blame ourselves. I still struggle with this.

In fact, after 20 years, I’ve just googled the name of someone who raped me (I struggle with this word, as for years I still felt I went along with it and didn’t say no, so can’t be rape) and I found him.

He’s now a Tory councillor. Married with 3 children.

And there’s no way in hell I’d bring this up now, and put myself through reliving it or not being believed.

And then I feel guilty and selfish being silent in case he has done it to anyone else.

It’s hard

I think one reason We wrongly Blame ourselves is that we feel these incidents are rare or out of character for the perpetrator, there's a feeling of confusion and unreality, you just can't believe that he actually did that and you know that other people won't believe he actually did it.

glut thats so vile. The reporting is a chicken and egg situation - and the system now favours not reporting for all of the reasons you say. BUT if there was an anonymous, 3rd party logging process there might be a tipping point where there is critical mass if the same names keep getting reported.

It says she declined invitations to ever work with him and avoided Miramax isn't that the same thing as keeping away!

That was meant to be a question mark

Quentin T is apparently 'heartbroken' about revelations concerning close friend HW. Apparently he knew nothing And needs time to get over the shock.

Here's a new list of women making allegations - you can see that the assistants were equally having a hard time of it too.

www.vulture.com/2017/10/the-harvey-weinstein-sexual-harassment-assault-accusations.html?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Vulture+-+October+11%2C+2017&utm_term=Subscription+List+-+Vulture+%281+Year%29

No, it isn’t. Think it’s quite likely for them to run into each other at awards do’s, for example. And where’s the pic of her ‘smooching up’ to him, then?

I smell bullshit on QT!

The comments on Facebook are really depressing. So much victim blaming.

Although I should expect nothing less, Facebook is a cesspit of ignorance when it comes to stuff like this.

Unless that's not her the body language is quite clear why would you bother yourself?

Delete I'm really not surprised. I remember the hate levelled at Amber Heard for daring to suggest that JD had hit her and was abusive in the marriage. Even when she walked about with a visible bruise on her face she was accused of being a lying little gold digger. The misogynistic abuse she received by column editors not just DM, comments on social media, and even here on MN women calling her a gold digger. I will never forget it because it because it was the first time in a long time I could remember a woman being personally attacked for daring to suggest a hollywood star might actually have a nasty side.

And few people, if any spoke up for her despite JD's temper being known about as a 'secret' by a fair few for years.

Yeah the stuff said about Amber Heard was awful. People bang on about how these accusations ruin careers but as far as I can tell JD’s career is still going strong

It makes me angry to be honest, I know it’s only Facebook but it gives people a platform to spout their nonsense that then validates others who feel the same way which then contributes to the victim blaming culture which is obviously damaging to victims and enables abusers to get away with their behaviour.

Maybe I’ve thought to much into it but that’s how I feel and the most frustrating thing about is it feeling powerless to stop it.

Polanski won an oscar didn't he? Despite everything. I don't know how Meryl Streep etc sleep knowing they supported him. How are they going to find a jury that knows nothing about him?

For crying out loud, that’s not her ‘smooching up with him’!