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AIBU?

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Original poster

Harvey Weinstein

993 replies

caperberries · 06/10/2017 09:17

Rumours have been circulating about this disgusting man and his sleazy casting couch for years... He has offered a half-hearted apology, but seems rather smug about the fact that his family are supporting him.

AIBU to think his wife is misguided? What sort of example is she setting to her daughter? After all, this isn't a one-off - it is a pattern of serious abuse of women over decades.

www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html

OP posts:
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10
Jellyheadbang · 13/10/2017 00:50

Slightly unrelated but the one time I complained about a colleague's sexual harassment I was made to feel like the villain. I was young and vulnerable. I have been abused my whole life but this one time I decided to complain really backfired and he had everyone's sympathy.
I also remember as a child having an abuser latch on to our family, my mum turned to 'the church' as they were both members. Nothing was gone and she was too weak to go to police etc so he never got caught and she took him back after as well.
She's definitely what is class as a vulnerable adult. Abusers are expert at picking out the weak and the easily exploited.

DarthMaiden · 13/10/2017 01:08

It’s very sad imho that the focus of the issue is repeatedly turned from the perpetrators of the abuse (and those that knowingly and willingly enabled someone to maintain a position of power that let it continue by means of lawsuits and payoffs) towards women who didn’t speak out.

I think some people are unable to grasp the power that some abusers have. Being wealthy and well connected doesn’t make you immune from that. Being neither of those things makes you even more vulnerable.

Women don’t speak out because the possibility of any positive outcome is heavily loaded against them. The probability of a negative outcome is overwhelmingly likely.

Women are conditioned to feel apologetic or ashamed that they put themselves in a position of risk and feel embarrassed to disclose that.

That’s why HW was so “successful” - creating an environment where it was difficult to assess the warming signs. A business meeting/party to discuss a role/script change - lots of people there, who then peel away faster than HW’s dressing gown.

Blaming victims for not speaking up is not the answer.

Save your wrath for the executives at MiraMax and The Weinstien Company who signed off all these settlements and knew they were protecting a serial sexual abuser.

Throw your distain at the Hollywood elite who say they “didn’t know” - everyone knew...maybe not about rape but they knew he was a sex pest at the very least.

reflexfaith · 13/10/2017 01:19

Abusers are expert at picking out the weak and the easily exploited
exactly, a predatory person is 'instinctively' drawn to people who are likely to make easier victims, it's not necessarily a conscious deliberate process

user1497863568 · 13/10/2017 01:23

“How can there be simultaneously this idea that everybody knew about it but that nobody spoke up about it?”

Noblegiraffe Happens all the time. People get scared of collective punishment. We’re pretty terrified right now because things didn’t play out so well for us in WW2. We have nothing to do with this criminal crap but when things turn nasty, we’re ones who get our families wiped out. 😰

HelenaDove · 13/10/2017 01:46

When i was in my first week of high school at the age of eleven my drama teacher asked me to speak sexily to him in front of the whole class . It being 1984 and there being no internet and me being only 11 i guessed he must mean like Marilyn Monroe so i tried (while dying with shame) to speak in a breathy voice like she sometimes did. So i attempted it and in front of the whole class he then told me "that was about as sexy as a bag of washing" I didnt know much about sexy but i knew he was trying to humiliate me and i felt small and embarrassed.

I hated him and was wary of him at the same time. This incident was in plain sight in front of the whole class. I didnt tell my parents because i thought i would get into trouble and that it was my fault.

33 years ago and i still remember this as plain as day I dont know if any of my classmates remember it after all this time but i always will.

HelenaDove · 13/10/2017 01:48

I have posted it on other threads in the past. Sorry to anyone whos probably reading it for the 15th time.

gluteustothemaximus · 13/10/2017 02:05

Helena, it’s awful isn’t it. The humiliation. The belittling.

I’ve been banging on about this to DH for years. I’m so tired of all the stories I have. Things that happened to me, things that happened to friends.

Teachers, church leaders, youth workers, fathers, brothers, bosses, doctors...there are so many incidents of humiliation, lewd remarks, physical assault, groping, all the way to rape.

So tired of this boys will be boys acceptance, and how women are responsible for their actions. The way they dress. They lead on. They should have said something. Why didn’t they say no.

I really hope this opens up the gates, without a sniff of victim blaming.

Men are responsible. But so many men get away with it.

HelenaDove · 13/10/2017 02:09

gluteous Thanks ive seen your previous posts. Sad

HadronCollider · 13/10/2017 03:38

You wonder why women don't come forward. Well it's because of facing potential shit like this from Oliver Stone. Quoting article:

'Director Oliver Stone has condemned a rush to judgment on producer Harvey Weinstein and the allegations by many women of sexual harassment, charges that led to Weinstein being fired from the company that bears his name.

Speaking at the Busan International Film Festival...........Stone responded to a question on Weinstein by stating, “I’m a believer that you wait until this thing gets to trial. I believe a man shouldn’t be condemned by a vigilante system. It’s not easy what he’s going through, either ..........I’ve heard horror stories on everyone in the business. So I’m not going to comment on that. I’ll wait and see, which is the right thing to do.”

Yep and someone said earlier if the first person had said something or something other. If this is the shit men in power are coming out with once some pretty big A-listers have spoken out, can you imagine the reaction to little 20 something year old joe blogs fresh out of acting school?! In this context you can see how even an actress with connections and gravitas like Gwyenth P would simply have been dismissed and likely ruined as a result.

Melony6 · 13/10/2017 03:57

In the Zoe Brock interview where she locked herself in the. bathroom I have heard no condemnation of HWs cohorts, the other , probably mostly men, who were with him on the night and deliberately and knowingly pretended to be part of a group of friends going back to his room for drinks so that his victim would be fooled into a false sense of security to join them assuming it was all above board. They were really consorting in a rape, in some cases, disgusting behaviour which they no doubt repeated time and again. They too should be named and shamed or preferably prosecuted.

lizzieoak · 13/10/2017 04:53

It's not just about not being believed, it's that in some cases he gave the women cash settlements, and also that women knew that going to the press likely would not result in publicity as the press was worried about lawsuits/loss of advertising from Mirimax.

It was only the combination of his brother wanting control of the company and the reporter being Ronan Farrow (who doesn't need to worry about his career being ruined as he has both money and other talents) hat finally got the story in the open. And the New Yorker being brave enough to publish - but that would not have happened without the first two factors.

BulletFox · 13/10/2017 05:05

It's so difficult to prove this sort of thing though without evidence.

You need cctv/corroboration/dna/instant reaction.

I do feel HW is being maken a figurehead at the moment and a lot more will come out about other people who have done the same.

papayasareyum · 13/10/2017 07:30

What I don’t get about the Oliver stone quote is that HW has admitted it. He’s admitted it and said he needs help. So why Oliver stone is suggesting/implying that HW is being victimised and innocent before being proven Shockguilty is beyond me

Melony6 · 13/10/2017 07:52

He’s admitted it and said he needs help
But I note he hasn't apologised for what he has put women through. But then he will have the best lawyers in the world working for him.

HadronCollider · 13/10/2017 08:04

Good point lizzieoak All very depressing to consider.

papayasareyum · 13/10/2017 08:07

Mel, I’m more of the Emma Thompson school of thought on HW. He’s not a sex addict. He’s a predator. He needs a prison cell not rehab.

cowgirlsareforever · 13/10/2017 08:20

BulletFox. Cases are prosecuted every day where none of the things you claim are needed don't feature.
You don't appear to realise that evidence can simply be oral testimony.

BulletFox · 13/10/2017 08:26

It can definitely be oral testimony but can also be hugely traumatic in court if there isn't other evidence.

I phrased my previous post incorrectly, I meant this behaviour is endemic in hollywood and there is a lot more to come out and going on behind the scenes but Harvey Weinstein is the 'figurehead' for it at present

cowgirlsareforever · 13/10/2017 08:31

It's hugely traumatic whatever the evidence.
Please get your facts straight before posting misleading information. This is real life not an episode of CSI.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 13/10/2017 08:37

Can you imagine, even now all these women giving evidence against HW?
They would be absolute crucified by his lawyers. People like GP and AJ would be on the stand for days, every aspect of their sex life, at the time gone over. Then there would be "evidence" from people trying to cast aspersions about their character and behaviour.

And all in front of the worlds media.

What women would want to put herself through that?

BulletFox · 13/10/2017 08:39

cowgirls no I've been through rape charge, it isn't as clear cut as it should be. I was always very clear with the police it shouldn't go to court as there wasn't enough evidence to convict.

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 13/10/2017 08:43

They have him on tape saying he groped that poor woman but he has yet to actually take responsibility for/be accountable for/own and admit his actions. All he has admitted to is hitting on women not assaulting them and even then, not in so many words and certainly no proper apology.
He has denied that all sex acts were non-consensual/coerced so the forced oral, the alleged rape...he has not admitted to any of it.

Unsurprising...as the facility he would then end up in would be a jail cell rather than bullshit rehab. Oliver Stone is therefore not incorrect in saying that legally it prejudices a case by jumping the gun. What he fails to realise is that by talking about it helps bring evidence forward.

It is an argument that justice when it becomes a ''fishing exercise'' (Cliff) does not prevail. But I happen to believe 24 similar accounts by different women in different jobs with different nationalities confirms a predatory pattern of repeated behaviour. Whether police looking into it in the UK and the States can press charges remains to be seen.

All that said, Stone can fuck off with his sympathy for HW. I cannot feel sorry for a predator. His children, yes, him, nope.

I would also like to see a renewed inquiry regarding Hollywood paedophilia (one victim dropped charges but potentially only because he refused to settle and his lawyers could not see their fees being paid. He retained the right to take it back to court at a later date).

Given some of the failings of historic sexual abuse investigations in the UK though and the fact that Soia withdrew this year from the Inquiry (Amber Rudd being its fourth chair says it all) I despair.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 13/10/2017 08:46

Even Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow are not immune from disbelief and online abuse. Read the comments under YouTube calling them (and other actresses) whores for selling themselves to further their careers. Even though they said no.

You really don’t need to go far these days to see the thinly veiled misogyny bursting to come out.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 13/10/2017 08:47

Emma Thompson was great on newsnight btw. Articulate and on the money.

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 13/10/2017 08:51

Emma's full interview here