To feel sorry for a mother with a very high achieving child, school gate bitching...

[muuuuuumy1]

Bit of a background, aspirational shools with very aspirational middle class parents, most looking towards 11+. School is excellent & teaching also.
A girl in dd's class who she would be friendly with is a very high achiever, wins alot of school awards, local art & music awards & is very talented. The mother is just like the rest of the mums in the school however she is alot more open eg admitting her child is getting tutoring - all the kids are both parents won't admit it, she is open about her aspirations for her child & shares her achievements on facebook like many proud parents.
However this has led to said woman who is always very friendly, chatty being completely cut to shreads by the other mums in the class, they are very catty saying she's pushy, boastful & her dd also pushy & bossy. The daughter is fine, very busy with all her extracurriculars so doesn't really hang out with friends but that could be said for alot of the class too. I don't really understand the bitching & hostility towards this lady... it's horrible to listen to. Her dd won a music award last Friday & received her award monday, I congratulated the mum on Monday at collection to say I was very happy for her child but the other mums stayed silent. It's ridiculous, all think their dc should be the best... I think maybe the mum is too open about her aspirations especially in such a competitive school... Aibu to feel sorry for her?

Such a toxic environment. All but the most robust personalities will, in their twenties, feel like failures, because they have been so fawned over and invested in. The anxiety of matching or exceeding the opportunities your parents gave you for your own children will plague some. However superficially well they are doing in life, it will not feel good enough and they will wonder what to do when there are no more awards and plaudits. The healthiest thing the kids could do is go off the rails spectacularly and actually find out who they are and what they want from life - which is what should be happening in their free unscheduled time. The mum is getting it a bit wrong socially, and won't help her dc by doing so. You sound like you are not engaging with it, and treating her kindly, which I do admire.

Also agree with not having to push someone who is naturally able. My friends DD is lovely and just naturally clever. She got in to a super selective grammar with little effort and I was genuinely pleased for her.

Dc not in school yet but have seen this first hand at my NCT group, it was awful, the babies were only a few months old & the competition about who breastfed the longest, whos child crawled first etc was intense.