Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 06/10/2017 11:29

"
OK next time I go shopping I'll open something and start using it before I've paid for it. Lets say I go into WH Smith and open a pack of pens so that I can address an envelope.

Lets see how the shop assistants react. I don't think it would end well."

I've done this exact thing, needed a pen to write and address a card, did it whilst in the queue to pay for the pen.

Shockingly, the bored min wage shop assistant didn't give a tiny fuck.

GlomOfNit · 06/10/2017 11:40

I've got a slightly different take on this, because my younger son (6) is severely autistic. We go to supermarkets as social therapy for him Grin so if you're giving the Evils to that annoying mum who's doing obnoxious Loud Parenting with her suspiciously huge-looking 'toddler' ('can you see the RICE CAKES? Oh well done, good talking! Put the RICE CAKES in the trolley sweetheart' etc) then please do feel free to ignore us and fuck off. Grin

Anyway, I don't think it's a great idea for him to think that it's ok to start eating stuff off the shelves/out of the trolley whilst we're shopping, as his learning difficulties/brain wiring make it very hard for that sort of pattern to be rewired. However, he does and will eventually get pissed off/threaten meltdown/need a distraction, and I can't face going into a supermarket with him without a couple of tubs of snacks. I bloody well make him verbally ask for every single piece, too. Grin

So I'm tempted to say, FFS, this is a toddler, cut her some slack - but on the other hand, neurotypical or not, it's never a great idea to let them think this is normal and ok, because it's very hard for young children to work out the subtle difference between noshing on the end of a baguette that your mum was fully intending on buying with her non-declinable card, and just grabbing random goods off the shelves and tucking in.

RhiannonOHara · 06/10/2017 12:16

OK, Lying, why must it be 'souped up' then?It's not about the thread moving on; there's hardly any mention on here of 'souped up' versions of eating in the supermarket.

It very much seems to me that it's just so you can get your righteous indignation out.

Here, have another Hmm while I'm at it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/10/2017 12:29

BiscuitBiscuit

persianpeach · 06/10/2017 12:38

Of course it’s fine to do this. All the people saying it’s stealing as you have not paid yet are so sad!!! It’s the tip of a french stick that you are about to pay for it’s FINE. Anyone that says otherwise needs to get a life! Seriously??!!

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 06/10/2017 12:50

faithinthesound Wed 04-Oct-17 01:04:49

In conclusion, there is a reason, in Les Misérables, that Jean Valjean is the sympathetic character and Javert is the unreasonable antagonist. It is because mindless, slavish adherence to the rules is not always just or fair, and what is just and fair is not always mindless, slavish adherence to the rules

Not read whole thread but I thought this was an excellent post Grin

Op things have moved on I am sure however I have been a passionate advocate of waitorse for years and year, always stand out as amazing customer service, great to shop in there. They never get dragged into these food rows.

However I Have switched to ocado now because I have had enough of a totally child ( small) child unfriendly attitude.

Sayyouwill · 06/10/2017 12:52

I don't give two hoots what some shelf stacker thinks or what goes on their face.

Wow. You know that 'shelf stacker' is a person don't you?

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 06/10/2017 12:59

Seriously. Trolling much. I apologise when I hand it over. It doesn’t happen often.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 06/10/2017 13:07

I actually can’t believe what childish on your high horse comments are on here. As long as you pay and don’t make a mess it’s not a problem. I folld the wrapper round so it’s closed. The check out assistants do not mind so why do some of you. Sheesh. Get a perspective if that’s all you have to worry about life isn’t bad. Focus your energies on something else, not being busy bodies.

Kerala2712 · 06/10/2017 13:11

I was in waitrose the other day- 2 yearvold expected banana (usually shop at tesco!) - gave her a banana, picked up an extra one, when got to til paid for extra one and asked cashier to put it back in lieu of eaten one. They thought it was a good idea, said they were about to start trialing the free fruit thing, and didn't give a toss. All those perfect people who manage to never have hungry/imperfect toddlers in supermarkets, good on you. The rest of us are human.

CotedePablo · 06/10/2017 13:13

Where ARE all those toddlers and children who need constant feeding when in a supermarket? I'm in my local supermarket at least twice a week for a reasonably extended period of time and I've yet to meet one. An occasional grumbly tiny baby, but that's it.

Anyway I've got four children, all with their own now. I used to do this thing called giving them breakfast, lunch and dinner and didn't have to feed them while we did the shopping and they knew from a very young age that nothing should be eaten till we paid for it. Perhaps that's because I taught them that.

flowerpoppy · 06/10/2017 13:15

Who on earth calls a baguette a "french bread stick"?

gandalf456 · 06/10/2017 13:15

I work in a supermarket. We couldn't care less whether a mum gives their small child a piece of a baguette or not. We have far bigger fish to fry, such as the shoplifter who is about to run out with £400 worth of booze.

SandyDenny · 06/10/2017 13:27

Who on earth calls a baguette a "french bread stick"?

Err, anyone and everyone, it's the same thing isn't it?

RhiannonOHara · 06/10/2017 13:31

No, I understand, Lying, I just think your argument is bizarre.

I don't leave crumbs, but thanks anyway.

Who on earth calls a baguette a "french bread stick"? Who cares?!

gandalf456 · 06/10/2017 13:45

Everyone, probably, unless they are French, in which case it always is a baguette as the terms are not interchangeable

faithinthesound · 06/10/2017 13:56

I work for the New Zealand equivalent of WH Smith (or near enough). I, and every single one of my coworkers, managers included, would have bust the package up for you. It’s called customer service, and if you’re paying anyway, it reflects better on us as a business to be accommodating and friendly than it does to be po-faced, pinched, and tutty.

So no, we don’t give two short sh*ts that you’re using product before you pay - but I just wanted to make the point that it isn’t because were minimum wage slaves or anything lol. We like our job! And we like our customers! And we’re human beings and we get that sometimes stuff happens.

So keep on keeping on. You pearl clutchers can be Javert if you like. Me and mine will continue to be the Valjeans of the world - more interested in fairness and kindness than draconian faux-righteousness

Srush86 · 06/10/2017 14:17

I don’t think it’s a massive deal as one post said bigger fish to fry. But I personally wouldn’t do it myself

maddiemookins16mum · 06/10/2017 14:22

It was interesting to read the the most vitriol and mudslinging came from those who 'fed' their kids during the shopping or the adults who couldn't control themselves for 5 minutes before eating a sandwich at the till. As for the PP who used shopping to introduce her toddler to new foods (as in tasting them as she shopped), that could be done at home. I've nothing against a toddler gnawing on the two inch end of a broken bit of french stick, but there was really no need for the two three year old in ASDA this morning to be eating one of those little nets (each) of Baby Bels and handing the red outside bits of them to the cashier as she was trying to scan their shopping. It was quarter to ten.
Quite happy to be called old fashioned.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/10/2017 14:27

but there was really no need for the two three year old in ASDA this morning to be eating one of those little nets (each) of Baby Bels and handing the red outside bits of them to the cashier as she was trying to scan their shopping
Maybe she didn't eat breakfast? Maybe Mom was happy for her to eat something and enjoy shopping? Maybe she has a whole range of issues you can't see. Maybe people think the same think when my two year old is eating crisps at 10 am but you have no idea of what their story is or what else is going on

RhiannonOHara · 06/10/2017 14:28

couldn't control themselves for 5 minutes before eating a sandwich at the till.

Hyperbole much? Grin

gandalf456 · 06/10/2017 14:42

I must admit. I don't like being handed people's sticky wrappers. I am not a rubbish bin

ArDali1 · 06/10/2017 14:54

If it's a kid from age 5+ let's say, then they can wait to be fed after you've paid, toddlers under 3/4 it's fine if they have a nibble.
It's not the end of the world if a young one is eating while the parents shop, it's better than a screaming baby, as I know some people out there cannot tolerate a screaming baby.

Tesco actually has a box of fruits that are free to take for children so they can enjoy a snack.

If you've taught your kid to be patient, then well done to you, but don't need to judge other people as you're not in their shoes.

sundowners · 06/10/2017 14:59

faithinthesound and gandalf45 thankyou for your lovely, non judgey comments to us mums who do sometimes need to revert to this in order to keep toddlers from screaming supermarket down. These guys work in the shops, they've just told us- they don't care and have far bigger fish to fry, so for the really quite bizarre people who have an issue with this, move on and focus on something more important.

manicmij · 06/10/2017 17:26

Of course YABU. Would you open a pack of washing detergent give some to a friend who was desperate to do some washing but couldn't afford to buy, open a pack of dried fruit and dish that out? Never mind that you are learning your DC a habit that you can just avail yourself of an item in a store. You need to find something else to offer if your child is screaming with hunger eg food you have taken with you. Basically you are stealing by what you do.